Talk:Penny Pritzker/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Slightlymad (talk · contribs) 05:25, 6 November 2017 (UTC)

I will be doing this. Slightly mad  05:25, 6 November 2017 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

General comments

 * Lede
 * 97-1 → en dash not hyphen
 * US $2.4 billion → $2.4 billion
 * These need a comma:
 * As of October 2015
 * In 2009
 * done Knope7 (talk) 01:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Early life
 * → I would shorten born to "b" by inserting this template, b.
 * → "He moved", since Donald is the focus of the preceding sentence anyway.
 * In 1972 → needs comma
 * Separate "A.N." with this non-break space template,
 * → drop the abbreviation, and academic fields are not capitalized in the encyclopedia
 * JD and an MBA → unabbreviate
 * done Knope7 (talk) 01:12, 7 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Pritzker family businesses
 * Need commas:
 * In 1989
 * In 2000
 * In July 2001
 * In 2009
 * In 2011
 * → "In 1995, the retirement of Jay Pritizker...", consistent with your preferred prose style
 * Mostly done. It looks like another editor made some copy editing changes earlier in the day. I will also note that this article as copy edited before it was nominated. Knope7 (talk) 01:21, 7 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Government and political involvement
 * CNN reported Pritzker → CNN reported "that" Pritzker?
 * done Knope7 (talk) 01:29, 7 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Personal life
 * → "Pritzker is married to ophthalmologist Bryan Traubert, with whom she has two children."
 * Separate J.B. with this non-break space template,
 * done Knope7 (talk) 01:57, 7 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Notes
 * Unsourced
 * the footnote comes right before the citation in the body of the article. I can add a second citation though. Knope7 (talk) 01:57, 7 November 2017 (UTC)


 * References
 * FNs 13, 20, 38, and 59 are linkrots
 * Gratuitous capitalization of authors at FN 30
 * These citations need a minor tweak. I would eliminate those triple-Ws from the |website= parameter and just type in the name of the publication/website from where they were retrieved in the |work= (e.g. www.artnews.com → ARTnews; tribunedigital-chicagotribune → Chicago Tribune)
 * Add archives to FNs 13, 20, and 59. Archive cannot be located for FN 38, but there are already 2 citations for the sentence it supports and I don't think every link needs to be working for a Good Article. I don't quite know what you are referring to with the website parameter. Is that within the GA criteria? Knope7 (talk) 02:36, 7 November 2017 (UTC)

Should be fixed in no time. Slightly mad  05:25, 6 November 2017 (UTC)


 * I did some slight copyedit and I've resolved the remainder of the issues I raised as I don't think I made myself clear about them. I shall now mark this as a pass given that there's no more problems with the article. Good work. Slightly  mad  05:46, 7 November 2017 (UTC)