Talk:People Take Pictures of Each Other/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:16, 5 August 2022 (UTC)

This is going to be reviewed today! --K. Peake 07:16, 5 August 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Infobox looks good!
 * Mention in the first sentence that it is from their sixth studio album, The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society (1968)
 * Done.


 * Make the second sentence one mentioning the song's writing, singing and recording date
 * Done.


 * Follow the above with the inspiration, then one sentence of comp and lyrical meaning
 * Done.


 * Remove the sequencing sentence since that is not notable and the album can be mentioned in the first sentence
 * Done.


 * "The recording features a" → "The song features a" moving this to the comp/lyrics part like I said
 * Done.


 * Remove session keyboardist introduction to Nicky Hopkins
 * Done.


 * "and others comment that its" → "Others comment that its" to avoid a run-on sentence
 * Done.


 * "The Kinks performed the song" → "The Kinks performed "People Take Pictures of Each Other""
 * Done.

Background and composition

 * Quote box looks good!
 * This section seems disordered; shouldn't you write about inspiration and its place on the album in background then follow with comp and lyrics of the song itself?
 * Yeah, you're right it was a little out of order. I swapped paragraphs so the composition is discussed before its relation to the other songs on the album, which I think makes sense chronologically.


 * "and Davies further stated in" → "and Davies eventually stated in"
 * How about simply "...and Davies stated in..."


 * "encourage nostalgia while misleading" → "encourage nostalgia and mislead"
 * Done.


 * "Davies wrote it specifically" → "Davies wrote the song specifically"
 * Done.


 * Remove wikilink on "Pictures in the Sand"
 * I think it's acceptable by WP:NSONG: Songs that do not rise to notability for an independent article should redirect to another relevant article, such as... a prominent album...


 * "to photographs,[6] and" → "to photographs and" moving [6] solely to the end of the sentence
 * Done.


 * "where the latter features a" → "with the latter featuring a"
 * Done.


 * "it serves as a commentary on the album's other tracks," → "the song serves as a commentary on the other tracks,"
 * Done.


 * "thinks the song's closing lines" → "thinks the closing lines"
 * Done.

Recording and release

 * Audio sample looks good!
 * Wikilink acoustic guitar
 * Done.


 * "and fast a breathless lead vocal" doesn't make much sense, unless you meant to write "a fast, breathless lead vocal"?
 * Yes, that was a typo. Fixed.


 * "rather than hiring session musicians to play it." → "rather than working with hiring session musicians." to be less repetitive
 * How about ...rather than working with hired session musicians.


 * Pipe coda to Coda (music)
 * Done.


 * Remove wikilink on Pye Records
 * Done.


 * "well without it."" → "well without it"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * Done.


 * "barely notice it."" → "barely notice it"."
 * Done.

Other versions

 * First para looks good!
 * "The American rock band" → "American rock band" to avoid starting two consecutive sentences with the
 * Done.


 * "over time, adding in part:" → "over time, further adding:"
 * Done.

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed! --K. Peake 08:08, 5 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks, response above.  Tkbrett  (✉) 11:36, 5 August 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, I understand your reasoning to not implement certain changes! --K. Peake 06:27, 6 August 2022 (UTC)