Talk:Pepsiman (video game)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 21:33, 16 December 2015 (UTC)

How funny, I was thinking of bringing this up to GA myself a few months ago (after I watched ProtonJon's livestream of it). Now it's been nominated, I'll be happy to review it. JAG UAR   21:33, 16 December 2015 (UTC)

Initial comments

 * "is an action video game developed by KID, and released on March 4, 1999, in Japan for the PlayStation" - personal preference, but I would rephrase this to is an action video game developed and published by KID, for the PlayStation on March 4, 1999 in Japan or something similar. Feel free to ignore
 * "and has the player avoiding obstacles by running" - and focuses the player on avoiding might sound better
 * "which the future visual novel writer Kotaro Uchikoshi was the 3D modeler for" - this doesn't make sense
 * "While an American publisher did look into acquiring the rights to publish the game in America" - United States
 * "while a reviewer at Destructoid" - reviewer of
 * "In some stages, Pepsiman gets a steel drum over his head" - 'gets' sounds a bit wrong. How about In some stages, Pepsiman's head becomes stuck inside a steel drum
 * "which led to the decision to use the video scenes of the American man drinking Pepsi, as they did not cost much to make" - American men don't cost much to make, or video scenes?
 * "while an American publisher was looking into acquiring the rights to publish the game in America" - again, I'd use the United States here as America itself is discouraged
 * "A writer for IGN" - why not "a reviewer"?

On hold
This is a neat and compact little article. The references all check out. Once all of the minor prose issues are addressed, then this should have no problem passing. JAG UAR   21:44, 16 December 2015 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the review! I think I have fixed everything.--IDVtalk 21:58, 16 December 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks, that was quick! OK, this looks good to go.  JAG  UAR   22:02, 16 December 2015 (UTC)