Talk:Persis Foster Eames Albee/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 09:02, 4 October 2020 (UTC)

Reviewing this for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive MWright96 (talk) 09:02, 4 October 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Lead

 * References in the lead are not necessary

Early life and marriage

 * "born May 30, 1836" - born on


 * "was born May 30, 1836 in Newry, Maine, " - a comma is needed between "1836" and "in"


 * "and from 1869 to 1871 a" - was a


 * "Soon after the marriage, the couple moved to Winchester. They lived in a white two-story colonial house on the riverbank near a railroad station in the center of town." - these two sentences might be better merged with each other


 * "The house included a store outlet. Their store having the city's only public telephone made it a natural congregation point." - same query as above

Career

 * "and the company expanded and took over all the floors" - to take


 * "Fifty years old in 1886," - try to avoid starting a sentence with a numerical figure


 * "She was a California Perfume Company businesswoman and had pioneered the company's" - repetition of "company"


 * "in a box kit.[15][11][16][17]" - refs in numerical order please


 * "Albee later offered to her customers a variety of California Perfume Company cosmetics." - Albee later offered a variety of California Perfume Company cosmetics to her customers.


 * "Albee is considered Avon's" - considered by whom?

Later life and death

 * "Albee died December 7, 1914" - {[xt|died on December 7}}


 * "at Templeton, Massachusetts. She was 78 years old." - consider merging this portion of text together