Talk:Petar Baćović/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Dank (talk · contribs) 23:38, 15 April 2013 (UTC)

Reviewing this now.
 * " Zaharije Ostojić, and Chetnik ideologue": no comma - Dank (push to talk) 23:38, 15 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.
 * "born 1898": born in 1898
 * Done.
 * "an agreement Chetnik movement": Did you mean "an agreement between Chetnik movement"?
 * Done.
 * "he left ... to": he left ... for
 * Done.
 * "In April-May 1942": Better is "In April and May 1942".
 * Done.
 * "the German launched": the German-launched
 * Done.
 * "were temporarily "normalized" with Italian Second Army headquarters in considerable parts of the Italian occupation zone": I don't know what this means.
 * I don't have access to the book atm. I'll ask PM67 to clarify Milazzo's term.
 * I've looked at the page in question. It means "restored to peace and order" in this context (the Italian occupation of areas that had recently been subjected to Ustase lawlessness). I'll leave PRODUCER to re-word the sentence to reflect the meaning. Regards, Peacemaker67 (send... over) 06:24, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Done. -- ◅ PRODUCER  ( TALK ) 06:42, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
 * "stood at at least 10,000 troops": not wrong, but "at at" is a little awkward; try "stood at 10,000 or more troops"
 * Done.
 * "effort of purging their ranks and outsiders": effort to purge their ranks of outsiders
 * Done.
 * "kill any person approved and labeled": kill any person who they labeled
 * Done.
 * "massacred some 2,500 Muslims and burnt villages": burned. (What you have is good BritEng, but in American English, "burnt" is an adjective.)
 * Done.
 * "reported that:": reported: (with a colon), or reported that (without)
 * Done.
 * "Herzegovina. and I": The first letter of sentences on Wikipedia are capitalized, regardless of the original.
 * Done.
 * "our Chetniks - greatly embittered": en-dash, here and throughout.
 * Done.
 * Per WP:MOSQUOTE, avoid cquote for block quotes.
 * Done.
 * "an appeal Partisan Serbs": an appeal to Partisan Serbs?
 * Done.
 * "the Jews, associated with much of the scum of the earth, fled to our country and began to propagate such a better and happier state of affairs in a Communist state": When inflammatory material or nonsensical material can be conveyed by paraphrasing, it's better to do that than quote it, and this material is both. For the same reason, either shorten or paraphrase the "Dividing and ruining" blockquote.
 * I disagree. I don't think we should attempt to unnecessarily reword the same message when a direct quote is available and shows what he precisely meant. -- ◅ PRODUCER  ( TALK ) 06:26, 16 April 2013 (UTC)
 * "They looted and burnt down": ... burned ...
 * Done.
 * "Communist international": Communist International
 * Done.
 * "he left to Cairo with British colonel Briley where": he left with British colonel Briley for Cairo, where
 * Done.
 * "Due to this they suggested Mihailović to "ask the Allies to occupy our territory" because": Three problems: replace "due to this" with a semicolon; "suggested that Mihailović should"; and there are too many quoted phrases in general; they are clunky, and it's hard to know what the reader is supposed to get from the quotes that they couldn't get from a paraphrase.
 * Done.
 * "he was no longer loyal": who, Baćović?
 * Done.
 * "Baćović alongside Chetnik ideologue Dragiša Vasić, detachments commanded by Ostojić, and a large number of refugees, totaling around 10,000 joined Đurišić's forces in their trek towards Slovenia.": "Baćović joined Đurišić's forces in their trek towards Slovenia, alongside ..."
 * Done.
 * "his was probably the largest combat action between NDH forces and the Chetniks in the previous two years.": The battle didn't take place in the previous two years; it took place in the current year.
 * Removed.
 * "not clear, however Baćović": not clear, but Baćović - Dank (push to talk) 01:15, 16 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.
 * Regarding the non-free use rationale: have you made an attempt to locate a public domain image, and is absolutely nothing known about the source or the date of the photo?
 * It's difficult to find a source with images of such individuals and even more difficult to find ones that specify the necessary image details.
 * The toolbox isn't working tonight.
 * Otherwise:
 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * My version of the "Cairo" sentence was better, I think.
 * Done.
 * The toolbox works now, and checks out.
 * I'm not sure if you get my point on the quotes. I know that when we're talking about genocide in the Balkans, the judgment calls are very difficult and I don't have the answers. We could ask for discussion at WT:MIL if you like. - Dank (push to talk) 12:47, 16 April 2013 (UTC)
 * I don't see what's gained. The author cited could have likewise paraphrased, but found it significant enough to directly quote. I wouldn't paraphrase just for the sake of not offending someone. -- ◅ PRODUCER  ( TALK ) 06:19, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I think clarification would be helpful here. Please see WT:MIL. - Dank (push to talk) 14:38, 17 April 2013 (UTC) P.S. I've checked your changes, and everything seems good to go with this one exception. - Dank (push to talk) 15:26, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
 * My version of the "Cairo" sentence was better, I think.
 * Done.
 * The toolbox works now, and checks out.
 * I'm not sure if you get my point on the quotes. I know that when we're talking about genocide in the Balkans, the judgment calls are very difficult and I don't have the answers. We could ask for discussion at WT:MIL if you like. - Dank (push to talk) 12:47, 16 April 2013 (UTC)
 * I don't see what's gained. The author cited could have likewise paraphrased, but found it significant enough to directly quote. I wouldn't paraphrase just for the sake of not offending someone. -- ◅ PRODUCER  ( TALK ) 06:19, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I think clarification would be helpful here. Please see WT:MIL. - Dank (push to talk) 14:38, 17 April 2013 (UTC) P.S. I've checked your changes, and everything seems good to go with this one exception. - Dank (push to talk) 15:26, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I think clarification would be helpful here. Please see WT:MIL. - Dank (push to talk) 14:38, 17 April 2013 (UTC) P.S. I've checked your changes, and everything seems good to go with this one exception. - Dank (push to talk) 15:26, 17 April 2013 (UTC)

I'm happy to look at summarising and paraphrasing some of the quotations if needed. Regards, Peacemaker67 (send... over) 13:28, 18 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Sure, let me know when to give it another look. - Dank (push to talk) 15:25, 18 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Have condensed, summarised and paraphrased, added some links and done a few grammar tweaks. I have left in some phrases in quotes because they illustrate the language. here are my edits . Feel free to revert anything that irks. Regards, Peacemaker67 (send... over) 04:57, 19 April 2013 (UTC)


 * Passed GA. Great work, both of you. - Dank (push to talk) 12:47, 19 April 2013 (UTC)