Talk:Peter Steele/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: My76Strat (talk · contribs) 13:31, 20 October 2012 (UTC)

Opening statement
Over the coming days I will review this nomination against Wikipedia's good article criteria. All interested participants are invited to provide their constructive input. Please comment under specific bullets if your comment is related to it, or initiate a comment in the appropriate section so it too can be considered.

Initial read
After an initial read, I do find the article well written. I am optimistic that this review can conclude with the article being assessed to "GA" class. To the extent I believe improvements should be considered, I will provide suggestions, with specific examples, in the comments section. I generally do not edit an article I review for "GA" until after the close. I prefer that a good faith correction simply be made, or that a suggestion is rebutted with valid mitigation. My goal is to guide this review to a successful culmination, while respecting the collaborative efforts that have produced this credible nomination. 76 Strat String da Broke da (talk) 13:31, 20 October 2012 (UTC)

Lead

 * When disambiguating a musicians stage name from their birth name, it is consistent with best practices to consider it as the name the were professionally known as. It is debatable whether or not they are best known, or even better known this way. And it is consistent with their being notable within their profession. I suggest changing "better known by his stage name..." with "professionally known by his stage name..." 76 Strat String da Broke da (talk) 15:08, 20 October 2012 (UTC)
 * The lead should be as free of clutter as possible which can detract from readability. For example the sentence which reads: "...known for his vampiric affect,[7][8] towering stature,[9] rich bass-baritone vocals,[5][10][11][12][13] and a dark, often self-deprecating..." is a clumsy read for all of the inline referencing, especially where five references are included. Because the lead is properly a summary of important aspects which should be expanded in the body, it is preferred that the inline references occur in the articles body, which also includes the infobox where facts like the birth name, date of birth and death, place of birth, et al, should be referenced. Please consider moving as many inline references as possible, if not all of them, out of the lead and into the appropriate locations where the summarized facts are expanded. 76 Strat String da Broke da (talk) 16:16, 20 October 2012 (UTC)
 * Ensure that a stated fact is supported by the included reference, and that the link itself is valid. For example where it is stated, "Before forming Type O Negative, he had created the metal group Fallout and the thrash band Carnivore." the reference should be moved to the section titled "Fallout and Carnivore (1979-1987)", where the information is expanded. But the reference is a dead link and does not properly serve to verify the information. Additionally, a functional reference that does address this content, contradicts the assertion that Steele "created" these bands, by stating "Before forming TYPE O NEGATIVE, Steele [played for] the metal group FALLOUT and the thrash band CARNIVORE." Avoid introducing a synthesis that changes the meaning of verifiable text, eroding credibility. 76 Strat String da Broke da (talk) 17:28, 20 October 2012 (UTC)
 * The sentence which reads "His lyrics were often intensely personal, dealing with subjects including love, loss, and addiction." is a verbatim iteration of the source. It is plagiarism to include this sentence unless it is enclosed within quotation marks! I have corrected this because copyvio's and unattributed prose are serious infringements and should be corrected as soon as they are discovered. Please review the article's prose to eliminate further occurrences. It can constitute grounds to "quick fail" this nomination if more examples are found! 76  Strat String da Broke da (talk) 19:14, 20 October 2012 (UTC)
 * Consider the sentence, "Steele credited Black Sabbath and The Beatles as his key musical inspirations." A recent consensus concluded that the Beatles should use a lowercase "t" for the definite article when it occurs mid-sentence. I would excuse the uppercase "T" if it was a faithful rendition of the source; and quoted. But the attached source also uses the lowercase "t", so it should be corrected. Additionally I do not see this fact repeated with expanded prose in the article's body; it should be. 76 Strat String da Broke da (talk) 19:21, 20 October 2012 (UTC)
 * The entire lead needs a significant expansion. It is currently disproportionate to the size of the article's body, and it fails to accurately summarize the important points that do follow in the body. It is a good introduction, but inadequate for the lead. 76 Strat String da Broke da (talk) 19:27, 20 October 2012 (UTC)

What I have found
Do to a lack of participation from article contributors including the nominator for this review, coupled with the fact that some improvements are required before meeting the criteria for GA assessment, I have elected to fail this nomination at this time. There are strong indications that this nomination was ill-construed. This is an unfortunate find, but it is my finding. Regards, 76 Strat String da Broke da (talk) 04:32, 4 November 2012 (UTC)