Talk:Petite messe solennelle/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 21:59, 1 June 2016 (UTC)

Will do this soon. JAG UAR   21:59, 1 June 2016 (UTC)
 * Sorry for the delay in getting to this, I haven't forgotten; I'm merely holding back as I note that Cassianto has made comments on the talk page. I'd be more than happy to start if you don't feel too pressured... JAG  UAR   21:43, 2 June 2016 (UTC)
 * Go ahead, I'll go to sleep ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:57, 2 June 2016 (UTC)
 * I'll shut up and let you get on with it.   Cassianto Talk   12:29, 3 June 2016 (UTC)

Initial comments

 * "at the request of count Alexis Pillet-Will" - 'Count' needs capitalising
 * agree --GA


 * "but Rossini labeled it, not without irony" - labelled (British English)
 * will I ever learn? - British English at School, US when I lived there --GA


 * "The mass was possibly commissioned by count Alexis Pillet-Will" - needs a capital 'C' again
 * done --GA


 * "but the composer labeled it "petite" with a grain of irony" - petite needs italicising as it is French, also labelled (if you want to stay consistent with British English)
 * yes --GA


 * "The second piano plays only occasionally, and then merely doubles the first piano for most of the time." - needs a citation
 * removed sentence altogether, better in scoring section with more precision --GA


 * "hôtel of Louise, comtesse de Pillet-Will" - this is in French, so it either needs italicising or quotation marks (I'm learning French, so I can actually understand this ;-D)
 * not sure, because it's a name --GA


 * "The countess is the dedicatee of this refined and elegant piece" - capital needed
 * Actually, lowercase "countess" is correct here. When used with a name, it is a title, and therefore capitalized; alone, it's an identification of rank, and therefore lowercase. ("The countess is" vs. "Countess Louise is"; the same would be true of duke and baron and other noble ranks and titles.) BlueMoonset (talk) 00:49, 3 June 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks for pointing that out, absolutely right. That was a mistake on my part. JAG  UAR   11:04, 3 June 2016 (UTC)


 * "he requested permission from the pope to perform the work with female voices at a church" - how about female vocals?
 * I confess that I would not know what vocals would mean, - I'd accept "female singers" --GA


 * "When it failed, he demanded that the orchestral version would only be performed after his death" - when what failed? I think When his request was rejected sounds clearer
 * taken --GA


 * "The composer preferred the chamber music version anyway" - this sentence seems a iffy. How about something like Regardless, the composer preferred the chamber music.
 * not sure I fully understand "regardless", not regarding what? --GA


 * "Music critic Filippo Filippi in la Perseveranza was full of praise" - informal
 * another relict from the older version, changed to "noted" --GA


 * I would recommend merging the two smaller paragraphs of the Scoring section to improve prose flow
 * I hear you but no, one for piano, one for orchestra, one for comparison, - should not go with the orchestra, imo --GA


 * "Judgments about the two versions diverge" - Judgements
 * yes --GA


 * "Some musicologists argue that the orchestrated version is nowadays preferred to the original" - try contemporary version?
 * no, but we could say "today" instead of "nowadays" --GA


 * "insertion of an instrumental offertory and/or a motet" - this divide can't be used in text, only in quotes
 * then what? --GA


 * "The Kyrie and Gloria form Part I, the other movements Part II" - missing noun; the other movements form Part II
 * missing verb? - tried, but would not like to repeat the same --GA


 * "According to Claire Delamarche, these represent the three blows of the staff" - this should be explained as Les trios coups in brackets
 * will think about how, perhaps my French expert can help? (perhaps even write the missing article?) --GA


 * "He transposed an earlier composition. It became customary to include it even in performances and editions with piano(s)." - unsourced
 * will look for one source, but all editions cited, beginning with the first edition ever, have the movement, which is summarized by the sentence (I haven't heard a single performance without it) --GA


 * "Then the movement returns to the introduction, with its soft chords interrupted by rests, and ends with a few strong hammered chords" - try Afterwards, the movement...
 * if you say so, - it's a big contrast of mood, perhaps there is even a better wording, asking a musical helper --GA


 * The last source in the bibliography is dead
 * inherited, removed, not cited anyway --Gerda Arendt (talk) 10:09, 3 June 2016 (UTC)

Those were all of the issues I found during my first read-through. Overall, nice work on this! It's comprehensive and mostly well written for the subject. I'll leave this on hold now and will see how things proceed. JAG UAR   22:30, 2 June 2016 (UTC)


 * Thank you for good helpful comments, I fixed what I could, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 10:09, 3 June 2016 (UTC)
 * I've read through the article again and concludes that this meets the criteria. With all of the issues addressed, this should be good to go! Well done  JAG  UAR   11:04, 3 June 2016 (UTC)


 * Thank you, encouraged to go for FA later, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 12:28, 3 June 2016 (UTC)