Talk:Philip Humber/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Oakley77 (talk · contribs) 17:26, 11 May 2012 (UTC)

Review
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Discussion
I will be reviewing this for a bit, but during that time, please feel free to comment and help make this article a GA one. I also will be completing the review at intervals, so if you see the review half-done, be aware it will be completed soon. Thanks for the comments and input! Oakley77 (talk) 17:27, 11 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Thank you for taking on the review. I'll be sure to do what I can, and I'm sure will as well. – Muboshgu (talk) 17:40, 11 May 2012 (UTC)

Second Review
Just noting that I'll be doing another review given concerns with the reviewer. I'll post my comment shortly, ideally before a peer review is done so you get two looks. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 02:14, 15 May 2012 (UTC)

Here are my comments:
 * "He has pitched for the New York Mets (2006–2007), Minnesota Twins (2008–2009), Kansas City Royals (2010), and White Sox (2011–present)." I don't think the dates are necessary in the lead, just the teams suffice and the dates are in the infobox.
 * "Although he debuted in the Major Leagues " lowercase major leagues; only capitalized when directly referring to MLB. Four instances need to be fixed total, many others are fine as is.
 * "Humber was raised with a batting cage in his back yard in an area" backyard is one word.
 * "a son who will be named John Gregory." has the wife had the baby? Sources suggest this to be likely given their expected date, so double-check.

First two sections and last section done. Will work on rest over the next couple days. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 02:30, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
 * The above issues are addressed. – Muboshgu (talk) 18:24, 15 May 2012 (UTC)

Here's the issues from the amateur section:
 * "The Carthage Bulldogs have a strong winning tradition and had won the state title in 1990 and been one of the final four teams in the state tournament in 1994." The strong winning tradition feels a bit pov; reword so it works a bit better, since it feels slightly out of place in the rest of the paragraph. I'm not opposed to the sentence being removed completely but I can understand why it would merit inclusion.
 * "As a junior, he went 7–2. Then as a senior he posted a 13–1 record with a 0.90 ERA and 146 strikeouts as well as a .371 batting average with 6 home runs" These two sentences can be combined.
 * "Although, Carthage lost the state championship " no comma needed
 * "choosing instead to attend Rice University, in order" no comma
 * "as Rice won its first national championship (in any team sport, not just baseball)" the parentheses can be removed and it can just say Rice won its first national championship in any team sport. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 17:43, 17 May 2012 (UTC)

And the pro section:
 * "a 2.37 ERA in 7 starts" seven
 * "On July 31, 2006, 377 days after his surgery," a year would probably sounds better, though I understand the desire for accuracy here.
 * "August 22, when he entered the ninth inning without giving a hit to" rm comma, plus 'without allowing a hit' sounds better.
 * "With Humber struggling at the start of the 2009 season, pitching to a 12.46 ERA over 4 1⁄3 innings, while giving up 11 hits and walking four batters, the Twins designated Humber for assignment on April 17, 2009 to make room on their roster for Juan Morillo, who the Twins had claimed off waivers from the Colorado Rockies." this sentence feels a bit long winded and could probably be split in two after batters,.
 * "after he pitched to" Capitalize After.
 * "He allowed 20 runs in his next three starts, across 13 1⁄3 innings." rm comma

The pro section was more of a cursory review rather than in-depth like the other sections, but I imagine the peer review will catch anything I missed. The article would use a bit of prose fine-tuning but there's nothing really keeping it from GA status. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 02:39, 19 May 2012 (UTC)
 * All taken care of. – Muboshgu (talk) 21:48, 22 May 2012 (UTC)