Talk:Phrynus longipes

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 15 September 2020 and 17 December 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): HarrisZW777.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 02:20, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Student Edit
Hi there, I thought your intro was very good. I liked the fact about this being one of the first species to be recorded eating a bird, and the explanation in the body of the article regarding the hummingbird consumption was very interesting, and I thought this could be Did-you-know worthy.

I noticed that some of your quotes need blending, for example the one that begins with “New functional models” is a little wordy and hard to understand.

I also noticed that you need sources for many of the sections, especially towards the bottom of the page for the paragraphs on Conservation, Interactions with humans and livestock, and Protective behavior.

I think you could go into more detail in your “body and musculature paragraph”, i.e. exactly what relationships? and exactly what evolutionary patterns? Also, it may help to list some of the variety of invertebrates that are prey to the species, and maybe add a separate paragraph dedicated to “Bites”.

Further, some of your word choice could be more descriptive. “Length of sexual interaction” rather than “actual time of sexual interaction”. “Colder or even freezing temperatures” can be condensed to “cold and freezing temperatures”. Phrases like “the northernmost point of South America” are not the most informative, so maybe instead list some countries rather than the general area.

I also fixed some typos, but overall, your explanation of the spider’s behavior was good and your focus on the territoriality of the species comes across well. Nice job!

Sandeep525 (talk) — Preceding undated comment added 20:39, 28 November 2020 (UTC)

Student Edit
I thought your page was very well-written and easy to comprehend. Some of the things you could consider changing are: I deleted some repetitive sentences like “Phrynus longipes has minimal interactions with humans. “as you had stated that earlier. Aside from this, I changed your header “Enemies” to “Predators” as I think it represents the concept better and is more scientifically appropriate. I also shortened some of the sentences for conciseness.

Aside from these I made some minor grammatical changes (fixed typos, changed wording), changed the order of the subtopics for better flow (changed Habitat and Distribution with Diet) and added a few links (e.g. hummingbird, amblypygid etc.)

Keremyucebas (talk) 01:49, 4 December 2020 (UTC)

Sweeping Changes needed
I will begin overhauling this entire article immediately. Several facts are either wrong or completely misleading. The language is also insufficiently precise and is too unscientific. For example, the article confuses the pedipalps with antenniform legs when discussing sexual dimorphism, leaving absolutely no idea which feature is actually sexually dimorphic. Jsamson2001 (talk) 04:00, 6 February 2024 (UTC)