Talk:Pierre Hemmer (entrepreneur)

Please review my translation (page "Pierre Hemmer", in my sandbox)
You kindly offered to check my English translation of the article "Pierre Hemmer". I'm coming to the end of the first round, so I gladly accept that you control it. Thank's a lot ! (Marsile (talk) 07:39, 19 November 2016 (UTC)).
 * OK. I've been to User:Marsile/sandbox and I've taken the liberty of doing some tweaks to the English. A major problem for translators is that English and French use different verb tenses when discussing people. Where French uses the present tense, English uses the past. I think I've changed them all appropriately. I've changed 'dead' to 'died', and 'professor' to 'teacher' as English only uses professor for university posts (apart from Hogwarts Academy and some Victorian schools)). 'Regent' is causing me some trouble - 'rėgent' looks to be the title for a village leader, but in English 'regent' is normally used only for a stand-in for a monarch (or sometimes another sort of national leader). It might be best to use 'rėgent' rather than translate. I also changed 'born' back to 'nėe' for his wife as that is the way English refers to a pre-marriage name. I'll ping to see if she can look at the notability side of things, and the other things that make up an article here. The different language Wikipedias have different styles and requirements. Peridon (talk) 12:20, 19 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the ping, Peridon. I could do some tweaking of the article to get it more into Wikipedia style. But you asked about notability, and IMO that is a little shaky. There is too much about his family - cousins, grandparents, and sisters do not help toward notability, per WP:NOTINHERITED. I would trim that to a "personal" section about his parents, his wife and children, and the manner of his death (which rated a newspaper article of its own). Most of the rest of the article is an unsourced resumé. The best case for notability comes in the last sentence: "Engaged in May 2006 by the Federal Chancellery as Head of Development, and then from April 2008 by the State Secretariat for Economic Affairs[30] as Head of eGovernment Services Development, Pierre Hemmer was responsible for initiating a first harmonization of Internet-based government services[31] to all cantons and communes of Switzerland.[32]." If that aspect of his life could be expanded and made into the main focus of the article, it would be a lot stronger. It would also help a lot if some of the references were linked, so that they can be consulted. Bottom line, it's an excellent translation; the English is fine. But I think if it is moved into the encyclopedia as it is, it will get sent to WP:AfD for notability reasons, and I'm not sure it would pass. User:Marsile, if you want to work on these suggested improvements, I'll be glad to help (although unfortunately I don't speak French} --MelanieN (talk) 16:40, 19 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks a lot for the translation corrections. Also thanks for your help and advice. I will continue to work on this subject and go into some parts of the article. Marsile (talk) 07:42, 20 November 2016 (UTC)