Talk:Pilar Shimizu/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 07:58, 14 April 2018 (UTC)

Reviewing this as part of a GA sweep. Comments will appear soon. MWright96 (talk) 07:58, 14 April 2018 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

General

 * All mentions of 50 m, 100 m and 200 m would be better off being spelt out

Done  Kees08  (Talk)  

Early life and education

 * "Pilar Shimizu was born May 27, 1996, in Tamuning, Guam." - Pilar Shimizu was born in the Guam city of Tamuning on May 27, 1996.
 * "Shimizu learned to swim at age four and started training at age seven." - This sentence needs to be cited to a reliable source.
 * "Shimizu is studying public health at Johns Hopkins University, " - link Johns Hopkins University

Done  Kees08  (Talk)  

Collegiate career

 * "she was part of the 200 yard medley relay" - link 200 yard medley relay to 200 metres individual medley
 * Well, the 200 yard is technically different from the 200 meter isn't it?  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * D'oh so it is. My mistake.. MWright96 (talk) 11:55, 19 April 2018 (UTC)
 * "The team received First Team All-America" - Wikilink All-America
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "and competed for the NCAA Championship." - try and find the apporiate wikilink for the NCAA championship that Shimizu competed in
 * So...apparently Johns Hopkins is DIII so there will not be an article for it. I can make a redlinked version?  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Only if there is a great deal of independent reliable coverage. MWright96 (talk) 11:55, 19 April 2018 (UTC)

Olympic career

 * "She was the youngest Guamanian Olympian ever" - in history
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "Shimizu set the national record for the 100 m breaststroke (set by Tammie Kaee) during the 2012 London Olympics" - established and during the Games
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Also, you should add mention of the 20-year old part to the record that Shimizu broke as you have done in the lead
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "She decided to put her swimming career on hiatus" - start this sentence with Shimizu
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  

International career

 * Wikilink 2009 East Asian Games
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * The link to Oceania Swimming Championships should be directed to 2010 Oceania Swimming Championships
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "In the 2015 Pacific Games, Shimizu earned a silver medal in the 50 m with a time of 33.35." - try: In the 2015 Pacific Games, Shimizu earned the 50 meters silver medal with a time of 33.35 seconds.
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)