Talk:Pip (South Park)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Basilisk4u (talk · contribs) 01:52, 29 March 2012 (UTC)

Hi! I will review this article. I'm sorry you have had to wait so long! I'll start it ASAP.

Review

 * Lead
 * "The episode is a parody and comedic retelling of the Charles Dickens novel Great Expectations..." For some reason, the "parody and comedic retelling" part sounds a little strange. Maybe "satirical and comedic retelling"?
 * "...stars the South Park character Pip, who assumes the role of the protagonist of the novel, who is his namesake." This is a bit confusing.  I know what you are saying, but it could possibly be reworded.  And isn't Pip from the show the same character from Great Expectations?  Like he was just taken from the book and put into the show?
 * "Pip as a character was established..." -->  "Pip was established as a character..."
 * "To achieve this look, a lot of assets had to be built from scratch." Don't use "a lot", use "many" instead.  Also, I think "aspects" would be better to use than "assets".
 * "The concept of the episode changed a lot during this time..." Again, use "significantly" instead of "a lot"
 * "...the episode was planned to be a musical originally." --> "...the episode was originally planned to be a musical."


 * Production and broadcast
 * "Pip had a somewhat bigger role in the original, unaired version of the pilot, but most of his scenes have been cut from the reworked and shorter broadcast version." Use a different word for "bigger", maybe "more significant". And say "were cut" instead of "have been cut"
 * "However, given the complicated nature of the episode's look..." Maybe use "artistic direction" instead of "look".
 * "To achieve the style, a lot of assets had to be built from scratch..." Again, use "aspects" instead of "assets".
 * In any uses of "South Park Elementary", South Park does not need to be italicized.


 * Cultural references and themes
 * "The episode is, of course, not a straight adaptation of the novel, but a comedic retelling thereof." The "of course' is not needed


 * Reception and home release
 * ""Pip" is a relatively unpopular episode of the series." Who is it unpopular with?  Critics, fans, or both?  If both, say ""Pip" is a relatively unpopular episode of the series with both critics and fans."
 * Is there any info about ratings?

On hold

 * I have placed the review on hold in order for concerns to be addressed. Good luck!  Basilisk4u (talk) 15:42, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure if the editor is still active (at least on this page) any more...--Gen. Quon (talk) 18:31, 22 April 2012 (UTC)
 * The editor seems to have made a couple edits recently, but nothing here. I'll give it another 48 hours then fail it myself. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 04:03, 24 April 2012 (UTC)
 * I went ahead and failed it. If the issues above can be fixed, I'm sure it can be GA'd one of these days.--Gen. Quon (talk) 20:15, 27 April 2012 (UTC)