Talk:Pita Gus Sowakula/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 12:16, 7 September 2018 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this one, will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 12:16, 7 September 2018 (UTC)

Initial review

Infobox

 * What's the source for his full name, height and weight?

Lead

 * "he took part in basketball", should that be "he played basketball"?
 * What do you think about separating his basketball and rugby careers into their own paragraphs in the lead? At the moment, it jumps from one to the other with little explanation and may be easier to read with each section standing on its own.
 * "He won a championship with Taranaki in 2017, including Most Promising Player of the Year at the amber and black awards", I'm assuming the championship was a league title won by the team, so the follow on sentence doesn't fit right. Maybe "and was named Most Promising..."?

Early life

 * Although ref 5 supports him being the father, ref 6 states that Robanakadavu is his uncle. Are there any other sources to clear this up.
 * Unlink Fiji, WP:OVERLINK, nationalities are not particularly worthy of linking.
 * "first international debut", first seems redundant here, his debut is by definition the first isn't it?

2013-15

 * "Sowakula was a member of the Fijian national basketball team to take part at the Oceania Championships", sentence reads a bit oddly. Should be "that took part in the Oceania..."
 * I'm not sure what ref 11 is adding here, it doesn't seem to really support any of the text.
 * decided to give Sowakula a call", comes across as rather journalistic and is very similar to the source. Something more formal, such as "decided to sign Sowakula to the squad" or along those lines.
 * "once he arrived in Dunedin from the previous week", again reads a little oddly. "After arriving in Dunedin the week before?"
 * Remove unfortunately, sounds like we're siding with Sowatula when it was only unfortunate for him.
 * Spell out the full name of an abbreviation in its first use, so NBL > New Zealand National Basketball League (NBL).
 * "qualifying them a chance for the World Championship Asia qualifiers", > "giving them a chance to reach the..."?
 * "Sowakula's pressure and experience kept his side majority of possession and put together a good combination of tactics which was too much for their opposition to handle", seems a bit much to credit Sowakula with all this when the ref states it was several players. Seems to be inflating his contribution somewhat and could do with rewording.
 * Guam national team > Guam. For Papa New Guinea you omitted the national team but here you haven't. I'd probably say it doesn't need including.

2016-18

 * Unlink New Zealand, per WP:OVERLINK.
 * sides > side's
 * What's Spotswood United?
 * "three career tries" > three tries. All his tries at this point are in his career.
 * Why was their Ranfurly Shield win famous?
 * Is the 2018 Super Rugby season ongoing? If not, section could do with updating on his his first season panned out.

Statistics

 * Table is unsourced.

Categories

 * Seems like there's more categories to be added, teams played for etc.

That's what I've found so far. I've also performed some minor copyedits incase you wish to check them. Placed on hold for seven days. Kosack (talk) 14:17, 7 September 2018 (UTC)


 * Hi there, . I've done my best to fix the tasks you've listed. Do you want me to add references near his full name, height, and weight? That information is on his social media platforms and It'sRugby.com profile which is under External links. Also, can you explain how you would like me to separate his basketball and rugby careers into their own paragraphs, please? Robanakadavu is his uncle but raised him instead of his father. I'm also having trouble accessing ref 19 as well.

Thank you, Kidsoljah (talk) 09:47, 10 September 2018 (UTC)


 * Nice work, I don't think a ref will be needed in the infobox, as long as the external link is included that should be suitable. I'll have another quick look through this as soon as possible, probably going to need to try and salvage or replace ref 19 if it has expired though. Kosack (talk) 19:51, 10 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Just had another run through, I've moved the lead around so that basketball and rugby are separate. Let me know if you're unhappy with it. I think if ref 19 can be rescued or replaced and a ref included for the final "Sowakula made a further six appearances for the franchise" sentence, we'll be there. Kosack (talk) 06:28, 11 September 2018 (UTC)


 * , I’ve replaced reference 19 and added one for the final "Sowakula made a further six appearances for the franchise" sentence. Cheers, Kidsoljah (talk) 08:33, 12 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Nice work, I'm happy that this article meets the relevant GA criteria. Promoting. Kosack (talk) 12:04, 12 September 2018 (UTC)