Talk:Play (Robyn song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 07:23, 18 September 2016 (UTC)

Soon... Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:23, 18 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks for picking it up! (off-topic; your userspace inspired me to copy yours as mine was looking terrible). Pancake (talk) 12:03, 18 September 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * a song by → a song recorded by
 * set comma after "second studio album"
 * Robin wrote → She wrote (word repetition)
 * helmed production → handled its production
 * 1999 with the → 1999, featuring the
 * influences and a "playful" vibe. → influences in its sound and has a "playful" vibe.
 * critical response → critical response from music critics


 * top 40 → top forty
 * ❌ You shouldn't mix "forty" and "31" in the same sentence; also it is generally recommended to use numbers when higher than twelve (?) rather than spelling it out, if memory serves right. Pancake (talk) 09:03, 21 September 2016 (UTC)


 * remove "singles" from "singles chart"
 * the parent album → its parent album
 * set a comma after "international label"

Infobox

 * nothing about the genre? This could be world music?! (But I understand you, on my latest GA, there also isn't a real genre.)
 * No genre. Pancake (talk) 09:03, 21 September 2016 (UTC)


 * it seems like "Good Thang" has a stand-alone article, so you should link it in the lead, as well.
 * Removed link from infobox; it's a redirect. Pancake (talk) 09:03, 21 September 2016 (UTC)

Background and composition

 * Set a comma after "the strings", as here another enumeration starts
 * In the first paragraphs, there are a few short sentences which could be combined to sound better instead of clipped.
 * what type of website is Aftonbladet?
 * it held a → it incorporated a
 * Its chorus → The recording's refrain
 * the "Play" single release → the single release of "Play"
 * Last two sentences should be mergered into the next section

Release and promotion

 * set a comma after "second studio album"
 * add year of release to the lead single in brackets
 * "Play" was released → Subsequently, "Play" was made available for consumption (alternating words)
 * July 1999 by → July 1999 through
 * the single cover art → the accompanying cover artwork
 * "Good Thang".[8] The B-side → connect these two sentences with a semicolon
 * parent album were not released → parent album were not distributed (you used "released" twice in a row)
 * RCA shelved the plans → the label cancelled plans
 * Add "on 21 May 1999" after "release party"
 * album tracks → material from the album
 * the marketing → the promotion ("marketing" sounds weird)
 * set comma after "following single" and add release year of "My Only Reason" in brackets.

Reception

 * "Play" received positive reviews in the Swedish press → Upon its release, "Play" was acclaimed by Swedish music critics
 * what type of website is Dagens Nyheter?
 * deemed it → deemed the recording (you used "it" already)
 * "obvious" hit → "obvious" success (you used "hit" already)
 * fared well → I would say "moderately"
 * singles chart → remove "singles"
 * number 34, before → remove comma


 * top 40 → top forty
 * ❌ Same as above. Pancake (talk) 09:03, 21 September 2016 (UTC)


 * but it failed → but failed
 * set a comma before "Electric"
 * number 6 → number six in that territory
 * falling off → leaving it

Track listings

 * flawless

Credits and personnel

 * liner notes of "Play" → liner notes of the singles's CD release
 * set a full stop after the opening two sentences from "Recording"
 * flawless

Release history

 * Unlink formats and labels

Outcome
for 7 days to allow fixes to the article. Good job! Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:37, 19 September 2016 (UTC)
 * With my comments being resolved, I can now gladly pass this article. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 14:55, 21 September 2016 (UTC)