Talk:Polly (The Kinks song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:25, 25 September 2022 (UTC)

This is going to be reviewed by me today! --K. Peake 06:25, 25 September 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Write the genre out in the body to avoid using a citation in the infobox
 * Done.


 * Mention in the first sentence that it is from their sixth studio album, The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society (1968)
 * It wasn't actually on the album, it was a non-album single.


 * "It was released on" → "The song was released on"
 * Seems a bit repetitive, no? The sentences before and after also use "song" or "the song".


 * Move the release sentence to being after the writing/recording and inspiration sentences
 * For what reason? I've seen plenty of well written song articles that use this convention (e.g. "The Inner Light", "Old Brown Shoe", "Hey Jude").


 * Change the part after the recording to merely "during the sessions for the album."
 * See above.


 * Remove introduction to Dylan Thomas because that is sufficient solely in the body
 * Done.


 * "though Davies's resulting character" → "though his resulting character"
 * Done.


 * Remove the English composer introduction to David Whitaker since that is sufficient in the body only
 * Done.

Background and inspiration

 * Maybe you could write the genre out here and try titling in Background and composition?
 * Done.


 * "beyond have having the same name." → "beyond having the same name."
 * Fixed.


 * Quote box and second para look good, apart from the lack of a genre mention in the latter
 * Done.

Recording and release

 * "as the song's producer." → "as the song's sole producer."
 * Seems like an unnecessary word to me.


 * "in-house engineers," → "in-house engineers;"
 * I don't think it would be correct to use a semi-colon because "either Alan MacKenzie or Brian Humphires" is not an independent clause (MOS:SEMICOLON).


 * Remove wikilink on Rasa Davies since she does not have her own article or even a section
 * Done.


 * "to possibly features a" → "to possibly feature a"
 * Done.


 * "Davies selected "Polly" to" → "Ray Davies selected "Polly" to" per MOS:SAMESURNAME
 * I forgot to fix all these instances when I added Rasa's name in. By MOS:SAMESURNAME, I've changed the rest to "Ray" rather than "Davies".


 * "was "more rhythmic," → "is "more rhythmic,"
 * Done.


 * Any more reviews you could add here?
 * I unfortunately haven't been able to find any. Given that the A-side "Wonderboy" was such a failure, there was little attention afforded for this B-side.


 * "roughly a tenth of" → "roughly a 10th of" per MOS:NUM
 * I only see MOS:FRAC mentioning to avoid using ordinals like -th when spelling out fractions. Anyway, by MOS:FRAC, I've changed "a tenth" to "one-tenth".


 * "among the fifteen tracks" → "among the 15 tracks" per above
 * Fifteen is fine by MOS:NUM.


 * "The song has since" → "It has since"
 * Done.


 * Wikilink as compilation albums per WP:PIPE
 * Done.

Personnel

 * Remove wikilink on Rasa Davies
 * Done.

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; that went very quickly! --K. Peake 06:57, 25 September 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks again K. Peake. Response above.  Tkbrett  (✉) 19:32, 26 September 2022 (UTC)
 * You should swap the release sentence with the writing/production since the creation comes before the actual release, also still introduction the record as their sixth studio album even though this is not part of it. --K. Peake 08:20, 27 September 2022 (UTC)
 * K. Peake, since there's no style guide at the Songs WikiProject, I'm basing my format on FAs. Among those, it seems pretty normal to have the release info in the first or second sentence of the lead, before anything else. See "Hey Jude", "Like a Rolling Stone", "I've Just Seen a Face", "Say Say Say", etc.  Tkbrett  (✉) 21:45, 29 September 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, I understand your reasoning for not implementing the lead suggestion! --K. Peake 12:16, 30 September 2022 (UTC)