Talk:Poppin (KSI song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 19:50, 10 January 2021 (UTC)

After our earlier discussion, I have made the decision to take this article on! --K. Peake 19:50, 10 January 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Infobox looks good!
 * "The song was produced by" → "It was produced by" to avoid starting two consecutive sentences the same way


 * "Go Grizzly, and Mally Mall." → "Go Grizzly and Mally Mall." since the article is in British English


 * "It was released" → "The song was released"


 * "The song is a hyperactive" → "It is a" since the "hyperactive" part is not notable for the lead


 * "The song is all about" → "The song's lyrics are about"


 * Remove wikilink on jewellery


 * "The song's music video was" → "An accompanying music video was"


 * "The video places the three performing artists" → "The video places the three rappers"


 * Shouldn't the song's challenge be mentioned in the lead after the music video?

Writing and production

 * "The song's instrumental was produced by" → "The song was produced by"


 * "Go Grizzly, and Mally Mall." → "Go Grizzly and Mally Mall."


 * Remove introduction and wikilink for Smokepurpp


 * "a chorus and a verse" remove this part, as the source mentions that KSI wrote those parts at the time and not Smokepurpp
 * I have altered this part to be accurate, as Smokepurpp had wrote and recorded but it is not sourced that it was a chorus and verse. Regarding the other two unresolved points, I used the same type of alteration for them. --K. Peake 10:00, 13 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove introduction and target for KSI


 * "was played the instrumental with Smokepurpp's chorus and verse during a" → "was played the instrumental during a"
 * The source does not mention the session being in Los Angeles, unless it is worded in a way that is unobvious to spot which I missed?
 * , the above issues are the only ones that have not been fixed and for more context, you need to remove the introductions because they have already been identified as American rappers in the lead, plus the target is redundant for KSI because he is the main artist; I guess you can get away with keeping the wikilinks for the others though since they are featured, while removing the introductions. As for the other points arisen, the info is not sourced hence my suggestions. --K. Peake 21:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "KSI wrote and recorded a pre-chorus" → "KSI wrote and recorded both a chorus" with the target


 * Remove target on feature


 * Remove introduction and wikilink for Lil Pump


 * "therefore, "it made" → "therefore "it made"

Music and lyrics

 * "track with elements of" → "track, with elements of"


 * The verse-chorus form and the song's length are both unsourced
 * You should mention the bass production of the song per 24
 * Remove target on soundtrack


 * Remove wikilink on lyrics


 * "are all about flexing," → "centre around flexing,"


 * Remove wikilink on jewellery

Release and promotion

 * "On the same day, he posted" → "Simultaneously, he posted"


 * Remove wikilink on cover art


 * "and it features Lil Pump and" → "and features Lil Pump and"


 * Remove wikilink on cartoon


 * "from KSI's upcoming debut studio album," → "from KSI's debut studio album"


 * Remove target on Dissimulation


 * "to write and record their own verse" → "to record their own verse"


 * Remove wikilink on remix


 * Target deluxe edition to Special edition


 * "of KSI's upcoming debut studio album." → "of the album." since his debut is the most recent album mentioned


 * [17][7] should be put in numerical order


 * "on 4 April and 9 April," → "on 4 April and 9 April 2020,"


 * "for the public poll which" → "for the public poll, which"

Critical reception

 * Retitle to Reception and merge with commercial performance, placing the latter as the bottom para here since both sections are too short at one para each


 * "received positive reviews" → "was met with positive reviews"


 * Target music critics to Music journalism


 * "In his review of "Poppin" for" → "In his review for"


 * "someone (KSI) who" → "someone [KSI] who"

Music video

 * "The music video was released to" → "The video was released to"


 * "one week later on 10 April." → "one week later."


 * The director sentence belongs in the first para instead


 * [26][23] put in numerical order, but none of the sentence about the opening scenes is backed up these refs


 * "among a crowd of people dancing" part of the sentence is unsourced


 * Only Bailey Sok is backed up as being in the crowd; the others are all unsourced

Commercial performance

 * The movement I suggested earlier will have this and the critical reception before the music video in the merged section


 * "the top 40 of the chart." → "the top 40." to avoid overstating "the chart"


 * Number of weeks on the UK R&B Chart is not sourced and there is no history where this is mentioned, so only keep the debut position


 * "on the UK Hip Hop and R&B Singles Chart," → "on the UK R&B Chart,"


 * "is the 23rd-best-selling song" → "was the 23rd best-selling song"


 * Mention the Scottish Singles Chart position inbetween UK and Ireland

Credits and personnel

 * Good

Charts

 * Good

Release history

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * until the issues are all fixed; I did notice that you have made improvements as an editor since my last review for you but the main problem with this article is the amount of original research. --K. Peake 09:53, 11 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I may have done some copyediting, but that was only brief. ✅ now, congrats on yet another GA that is well-deserved! --K. Peake 10:00, 13 January 2021 (UTC)