Talk:Possum (film)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gerald Waldo Luis (talk · contribs) 15:28, 5 February 2022 (UTC)

Hey, looks like a fine article. I'll be reviewing this soon, just be patient :)  Gerald WL  15:28, 5 February 2022 (UTC)

Non-prose

 * I am using Earwig to check copyright violation issues, and while it's not so severe, you did pasted a lot of quotes, and I'm wondering if you can paraphrase or trim some of them. As an example: The publishers then had the writers "pick a fear that appealed and write a story for a modern audience" This can be easily paraphrased to The publishers then told the writers to choose a fear that intrigued them, and write a story in modern language. As well as in Developing the film's story, Holness drew upon his love of silent films: "I'd been watching a lot of silent horror films from the ’20s and ’30. ’20s mainly. I found them ... can be changed to Developing the film's story, Holness drew upon his love of 1920s and 30s silent films, which he found to be "so brilliantly creepy", with primary use of psychologically-affecting body horror visual narratives. He wanted to replicate this same filmmaking technique, lamenting that many modern films overlooked them and ended up being less creepy.
 * All images need alt texts
 * Completed. Let me know it the texts could be altered further.--Paleface Jack (talk) 17:37, 12 February 2022 (UTC)


 * The images are all good, except for the soundtrack music. Unless you have some kind of critical commentary regarding the cover that would make it valid in this article, it should be removed, because the primary of this article is the film not the music.
 * Added a little blurb about it.--Paleface Jack (talk) 17:37, 12 February 2022 (UTC)


 * "Magic (film)"-- remove "(film)"
 * Done--Paleface Jack (talk) 17:37, 12 February 2022 (UTC)


 * The publisher parameter should not be a repeat of the author, but rather the company that owns the website.
 * Completed revisions--Paleface Jack (talk) 17:37, 12 February 2022 (UTC)


 * The refs arent consistent: some have the websites linked while others don't
 * Completed revisions--Paleface Jack (talk) 17:37, 12 February 2022 (UTC)


 * Websites that are exactly the same as the publishers must be removed, for example "EdFilmFest.org.uk" and "Edinburgh Film Festival" in r.40
 * Completed revisions--Paleface Jack (talk) 17:37, 12 February 2022 (UTC)


 * "BHFF 2018: Second Wave Revealed and We're Bringing DRINKING WITH THE DREAD to the Show! – Dread Central"-- remove " – Dread Central"
 * Completed revisions--Paleface Jack (talk) 17:37, 12 February 2022 (UTC)


 * As well as Variety in the title of r.49
 * Completed revisions--Paleface Jack (talk) 17:37, 12 February 2022 (UTC)


 * And in the box office mojo ref
 * Completed revisions--Paleface Jack (talk) 17:37, 12 February 2022 (UTC)


 * And in r.68 and 69, 32 and 28, 25 and 23, 17 and 8 and 6
 * Completed revisions--Paleface Jack (talk) 17:37, 12 February 2022 (UTC)


 * Tiny Mix Tapes, Den of Geek and Bloody Disgusting must be website
 * Completed revisions when necessary.--Paleface Jack (talk) 17:37, 12 February 2022 (UTC)

Prose
Sorry for the long delay, here's the prose comments.  Gerald WL  13:11, 16 February 2022 (UTC)


 * "in his feature film debut"-- "feature film debut" links to "directorial debut" which redirects to List of directorial debuts, which would make it confusing. I suggest just link it to List of directorial debuts.
 * "he much preferred horror films that "linger with you"-- can be paraphrased to "he much preferred horror films that resonate with audiences"
 * "and force the audience to reflect on the experience afterward" --> "and force them to reflect on the experience afterward"
 * Link film score, experimental music, and electronic music
 * Why does the studio link to an album article?
 * I would like to see a summary on the box office as well as accolades in the third paragraph.


 * Link Norfolk
 * "His childhood home is in disrepair, having once suffered a house fire." --> "His childhood home is in disrepair due to a past house fire."
 * "Throughout his time in Norfolk"-- remove the Norfolk link here
 * Earlier on his uncle is described as "decrepit", which means "orphaned", but then later you stated "unsuspecting, orphaned children", which indicates wording inconsistency. Suggest changing that earlier sentence to "his decrepit orphaned uncle"
 * "One day, Maurice recalls that he once was called in by a colleague to teach Phillip's bullies a lesson." Teach them a lesson, as in punishing? Reprimanding? Also what significance does this sentence hold in the story?
 * "to lay low and not bring attention to himself, or trouble back to the house." Lay low as in, hiding from the media? If so, this means that "not bring attention to himself" already does its job, so you can easily remove "lay low and".
 * "of having become" --> "of becoming"
 * "He enters the closed room" --> "Phillip enters the closed room"
 * "and begins beating him and molesting him" --> "by beating and molesting him"
 * All changes have been made to the intro and plot sections.--Paleface Jack (talk) 16:12, 19 February 2022 (UTC)
 * Huge apologies for the delay! Here's to all of them.  Gerald WL  13:46, 28 February 2022 (UTC)


 * Unlink pupeteer and traumatic abuse as duplicate links
 * I would love a description as to who Mr. Evans and Mother in Park is.
 * "Father", "Uncle", "Mother", and "Park" must be low caps.
 * "mother" --> "the mother"


 * "cult television series Garth Marenghi's Darkplace; which he both"-- change semicolon to comma.
 * Remove link to comedy as WP:OVERLINK
 * The whole "To be honest" quote can be removed, and the preceding sentence can be changed to "Although normally associated with comedies, Holness himself admitted he had always been a fan of the horror genre and works with serious themes, but stressed that it had been difficult to break from his reputation for comedies due to the large following."
 * I would suggest giving "The film itself is an adaption of Holness" and beyond its own paragraph, so the first subsection here has 2 paragraphs.


 * "Writer/director" --> "Writer-director"
 * "Holness revealed in June 2016 that he was working on an adaptation for one of his own short stories, titled Possum." Repetitive, as readers already know the background of the film. Trim to "Holness revealed about the film in June 2016."
 * Should linger with you be in quotations or apostrophe? The status quo is the latter.
 * "forced" --> "force"
 * "Developing the characters in the film" and beyond can be given its own paragraph.
 * Hyphenate "voice over"
 * Change the comma after "piece" to full stop.
 * Similar apostrophe problem in "through Philip's perspective of the world"
 * "According to Holness, the role of Phillip"-- "According to Holness" can be dropped here as we already know everything here is Holness' creation.
 * "the great thing about Sean is that he immerses himself in his characters and is able to go to those places and come back with something that's very affecting and truthful." Remove the ref after this as it is covered by the following ref.


 * You often put quotations within "Possum"; this can be removed per consistency with articles like RoboCop
 * "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones"-- change the hyphen to the dash similar as used in the article
 * "Macabre artworks, and taxidermy"-- remove the comma
 * "which he then presented to the writer/director"-- change "writer/director" to "Holness"
 * Another apostrophe problem with "too expressive"
 * Link foam latex
 * "Holness worked closely with" and beyond can be given its own paragraph


 * "with shooting locations centered in Norfolk" --> "occurring mostly in Norfolk"
 * "on Kodak 35mm" --> "on a Kodak 35 mm film"
 * "with Kit Fraser functioning as the film's"-- "functioning" redundant
 * "The setting of the original short story" and beyond can be given its own paragraph.
 * "Holness would later discover" --> "He would later discover"
 * "Holness stated that the biggest difference in directing a feature film, for him, was"-- remove ", for him,"


 * The "Influences" can be easily merged to production. I suggest moving it to the first subsection as paragraph 3.
 * "as inspiration for the film"-- pluralize "inspiration"
 * Italicize ScreenDaily; "Screen" and "Daily" must also be separated.
 * "expressionist horror" --> "[German E]xpressionist horror". Also link to the German Expressionism article


 * The infobox image must still be removed. This is not an article about the soundtrack, and there's no sufficent info on the cover that would justify inclusion; a blurb describing the cover isn't really sufficient. If you have info on, say, what the green stuff means, that would help save the image.
 * "Download" must be low caps, as well as "Vinyl"
 * Link Single (music)
 * Suggest adding the total duration of the soundtrack to the Track listing.
 * Add year parantheses to The Innocents and Don't Look Now, and Frightmare
 * "Possum will terrify in the best tradition of classic horror cinema, evoking an atmosphere of supernatural dread and creeping horror" is pretty redundant as we already get what kind of demographic Holness is reaching for


 * The subsections can be removed as they're only one paragraph each
 * Paragraph 2 and 3 can be merged.
 * "Q&A" --> "question-and-answer session". Also unlink it.
 * Remove "writer/director" as we alr know who he is
 * "Video on Demand" must be low caps


 * "opening in 7 theaters"-- "7" --> "seven"
 * As a good article, I will pass the reviews section. But if you plan to make this FA, I highly suggest you read WP:RECEPTION on improving this section. Many articles lost the candidacy because they ignored this.

That's all I have for this article; the Accolades section is all good. I'm honestly surprised I've never seen this film, and I look forward to it. Accessibility doesn't seem to be a problem; colorblind test and visual impairment test checks out.  Gerald WL  13:46, 28 February 2022 (UTC)


 * @Gerald Waldo Luis Everything has been sorted out, edited and modified. I did find a source that sort of proves the validity of the soundtrack image as it apparently is a typical style of the company which is intended to invoke a feel of cosmic horror and psychedelia.---18:17, 1 March 2022 (UTC)~
 * Looks more sufficient now, aight image's saved. I'll go through a final check, then pass it.  Gerald WL  01:02, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Jack, one more comment: since this is a British film, shouldn't the dollars be given specifics (US$, CA$, etc) and be given a GBP conversion? See MOS:CURRENCY on how to do this.  Gerald WL  01:54, 2 March 2022 (UTC)


 * @Gerald Waldo Luis I would be inclined to agree but the money grossed was from the limited US release so it is not necessary. Paleface Jack (talk) 16:03, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Looks good then, . Great work about a great work!  Gerald WL  18:41, 2 March 2022 (UTC)