Talk:Potiki/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 01:29, 4 February 2024 (UTC)

I'm always happy to discuss, or be challenged on, my review comments. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:29, 4 February 2024 (UTC)


 * Thanks heaps for picking this one up! I'll start working gradually through your comments as they come in. So far, really great suggestions and all appreciated. :) Cheers, Chocmilk03 (talk) 20:17, 4 February 2024 (UTC)

From an initial read, the article looks to be close to meeting the good article criteria.
 * Lead is fairly short - is there any key information from "Reception" or "Legacy" that could be added?
 * Have expanded this a bit, see what you think?


 * The exemplars at MOS:WAF that are still featured articles all have a background section before the plot summary, but I looked at a dozen or so good articles and not all of those did. I'd suggest thinking about splitting out a background section from "Background and themes" and moving it to before Plot summary; but if you decide not to then it's not a blocker to GA status.
 * Good suggestion, thanks! Have done.


 * I have always taken "After the initial mention, a person should generally be referred to by surname only" to mean within the lead and separately within the body of the article, so would suggest "Patricia Grace" in "In 1985, Grace received a writing fellowship", but feel free to disagree. (I see, for example, that Grace's article itslef has "Grace" at the first mention in the body.)
 * Thanks, done.


 * Generally, there are quite a few short paragraphs. Can some of these be combined? At the moment we have some examples of consecutive parargraphs with similar starts, which it would be better to vary: "The novel"/"The novel's"; "Potiki was"/"Potiki came"; "The novel"/"The novel" and "In 2006"/In 2016"/"In 2020".
 * Have endeavoured to address this a bit; see what you think?


 * Spot check on "The novel is set in a coastal community resembling Hongoeka, Grace's hometown, which is north of Wellington, New Zealand" - no issues
 * Spot check on "He is also sometimes described as a Jesus Christ-like figure" - no issues
 * Spot check on "as academic Roger Robinson notes, Toko's birth parents are called Mary and possibly Joseph" - no issues. Could perhaps be reworded to make it clearer that it is unknown whether Joseph is the father, not that the father is known but his name uncertain.
 * Ah yes, agree that's a bit ambiguous. Is this clearer now?


 * Spot check on "remains both a popular success and a reference point for discussion of Māori writing and international postcolonial fiction" - no issues
 * Spot check on "In 1994 it received the LiBeraturpreis [de] award in Germany" - I couldn't see this supported in the cited source.
 * Thank you for catching this! Now fixed.


 * "typed up the work on a portable writer" - can "writer" be equivelent to "typewriter" in New Zealand English?
 * Woops, my error! Now fixed.


 * Spot check on "On taking up the fellowship at Victoria she had access to a computer" - no issues, but probably worth expanding on this slightly (per the source, which mentions the manuscript was transferred to computer, if I'm reading it right.)
 * Yes, this kind of left things hanging oddly didn't it? Have hopefully addressed.


 * "It is one of very few New Zealand books, and the only New Zealand book by a Māori author, to be translated into Portuguese" - maybe add an "As of 2021..."
 * Done!

From what I've seen in sources, I think the breadth and depth are fine for a GA. I'll put the review on hold - happy to allow more than a week for responses if required. Thanks for your work on the article. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 00:00, 5 February 2024 (UTC)


 * Thanks heaps for your helpful review! I've had a stab at addressing the points, happy to keep reworking anything as needed (I always struggle with lead sections in particular). Cheers, Chocmilk03 (talk) 03:38, 5 February 2024 (UTC)
 * I'm satisfied that the article meets the GA criteria, so I'm passing it. Nive job, ! Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:30, 5 February 2024 (UTC)