Talk:Prince Octavius of Great Britain/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Neonblak (talk · contribs) 13:55, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

Before I complete my review of this article, a few positive comments: Lead section and layout are good, as is the neutrality and comprehensiveness of the subject. The child had a short life but significant impact, and is an easy read upon my first read-through. I don't expect to find prose issues, and the things I did notice might end up being more nit-picking than major issues. Neonblak talk  -  13:55, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

Review:
 * Buckingham House should link to Buckingham Palace.
 * If it was called Buckingham House then (and the source seems to indicate), you can just link to Palace. Neonblak talk  -  18:38, 2 December 2011 (UTC)


 * Photos needs ALT text per WP:ALT
 * Inline citations should be after a punctuation such as a comma or period per WP:CITE
 * If you're referring to "The king was affectionate[5] and indulgent with his young children..." The policy you cited says "citation markers are normally placed after adjacent punctuation such as periods and commas." So while I see what you mean, it's not required. [5] only cites that part of the sentence.  Ruby  2010/  2013  05:47, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
 * True, it is not required, but I wouldn't think that a father being affectionate toward his son to be particularly contentious, even for Royalty; which is what WP:CITE is saying. Neonblak talk  -  18:38, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

Prose: Early life Death and aftermath
 * "The prince's name derives from Latin octavus, the eighth, showing that he was the eighth son of his parents." - I would use the indicating instead of showing.
 * "When Octavius was three Alfred died on 20 August 1782, and Octavius again became the youngest surviving child." - Seems awkward to me. Maybe "Octavius was three years of age when Alfred died on 20 August 1782, and he again became the youngest surviving child."
 * "In 1820 historian Edward Holt..." - comma after 1820.
 * "Six months later after Alfred's death, Octavius and his sister Sophia were taken to Kew Palace in London to be inoculated from the smallpox virus." - Maybe "Six months after Alfred's death, Octavius and Sophia were taken to Kew Palace..."
 * "...Octavius became ill and died several days later, on 3 May 1783 at Kew Palace." - needs comma after the date.
 * "On 10 May, he was buried at Westminster Abbey next to the coffin of his brother Prince Alfred; On the orders of their father King George, on 11 February 1820 the coffins containing the remains of Octavius and Alfred were transferred to St. George's Chapel, Windsor Castle." - two sentences here I think, no capitalization after semi-colon anyway, maybe "On 10 May, he was buried along side his brother Alfred at Westminster Abbey. King George ordered their remains transferred to St. George's Chapel, Windor Castle on 11 February 1820."
 * "According to Queen Charlotte Octavius' death was unexpected, writing to a friend who..." - Long sentence could be broken up, maybe "According to Queen Charlotte, Octavius' death was unexpected. Once, when writing to a friend who faced a similar tragedy, she said "twice have I..."
 * I have run out of time for now, will finish at a later time. Neonblak talk  -  15:35, 29 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "The prince's death had a marked effect, both mentally and physically, on Queen Charlotte, who..." - no need for a comma after physically.
 * "In later years, King George would have imagined..." - avoid the words "would have" when talking about a specific event. Maybe "In later years, King George imagined..."
 * Overall, an interesting article, and I look forward to promoting it once these few issues are resolved. Neonblak talk  -  10:37, 30 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. I should be able to address your comments in a few days (busy in real life right now). Thanks,  Ruby  2010/  2013  17:19, 30 November 2011 (UTC)
 * I have addressed most of your comments (I replied to one or two above). Thanks very much for the review!  Ruby  2010/  2013  05:47, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
 * I have replied to a couple of things above, but neither issue is enough to stop this from promoting. Great job ! Neonblak talk  -  18:38, 2 December 2011 (UTC)