Talk:Prisoner law

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Jaysdayy.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 02:42, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Peer Review
First off, you've made a lot of great progress on your page! I like that your lead section introduces a bit of information that you go into detail in later, like the court cases. Under the background, adding more information about those 3 comparisons and some explanations as to why you are dividing them that way would be helpful (I'm sure you were already planning on that!) The protections section looks good. For the theoretical section, maybe you could explain what you mean by that before jumping into the Panopticon. I'm not really sure what "theoretical approaches" means - maybe you could make the title a little more specific just so that someone without a sociological background understands immediately what you're about to talk about. Communication section looks good, very factual and unbiased. The health section is very interesting, maybe you could find even more sources that discuss privacy and healthcare in prison because it seems like such an important and relevant issue. Are you planning on adding more sections under the "Physical Environments" heading in addition to health? Overall, great progress! --Prizmic (talk) 23:18, 31 March 2018 (UTC)

I agree with your feedback 100%. My article still needs a lot of work and trying to know how and what type of information has been challenging for me. Under the background I will be adding more information and hopefully comparing the different types of prisons. I had not thought about this but you are right that I should add an explanation as to why I am dividing it the way I did. Theoretical approaches to the topic of privacy in prison is kind of confusing to me as well. I think that before I expand on this section I should figure out what is the purpose of it and be able to make it clear to my general audience. Thank you for the suggestions. This is all very helpful when thinking about how to continue editing my article.

Jaysdayy (talk) 00:25, 1 April 2018 (UTC)

I like the organization that you have created and I am excited to see what the Public vs Private, Jail vs Prison, and Stat vs Federal section will hold. I also like how you included court cases within your lead, because it helps get the reader to start thinking about the topic in a legal, rather then just a social, lens. In the privacy protections section, I would specify what the court meant by "for the sake of the prisons" (was it for security or protection purposes). I like the addition of the bullet points as notes that you will use to expand your existing paragraphs. The bullets helped me understand how you would continue your draft by allowing me to imagine what else you plan on including. I think that was a smart thing to do, because it ensures that you don't leave anything out. I was a little confused as to what the header "Theoretical approaches" meant as a section(is it approaches that were never implemented but suggested to be used in prisons or is it approaches that were originally theoretical but then came into practice). I would also elaborate on how families privacy rights are violated when the visit within the communication methods section. Another thing I would expand on is the health section, so that it reflects how the protections of HIPPA are ignored to protect. Overall I think this is a great start, you have organized all your thoughts in a clear and precise manner and are just working on consolidating them into sentences which is the easier part of the two. Excited to see where the article heads!Class20 (talk) 09:32, 1 April 2018 (UTC)

Gloria's peer review
You contributed a lot these two weeks. I really enjoy reading this informative one. This article provides a lot of memorable details, such as the citation of the reason building the prison in the shape of panopticon.

After the reading, I have 3 suggestions. 1) To demonstrate the importance of this page, I will suggest adding the number of prisoners in the United States at the end of the leading paragraph of the Background section. 2) Are you going to develop more contents for the cases of Katzoff v. McGuinnis and Rodriguesz v. McGuinnis? If not, I will recommend to reformat it to: “Some cases in which inmates were searched and had their belongings confiscated and used against them include: Katzoff v. McGuinnis (Confiscation of Diary) and Rodriguez v McGuinnis (Confiscation of cell phone). Because when I read the paragraph below these two cases, I thought the case Parrat v. Taylor paralleled to cases of Katzoff v. McGuinnis and Rodriguesz v. McGuinnis. 3) This sentence: “According to the courts, females have a higher expectation of privacy than males do” makes me so curious about what expectations do women have that are higher than male imates. Having a glimpse at the Miller’s article, I would recommend to rewrite this sentence: According to the courts, females have a higher expectation of privacy than males do, such as on cross-gender physical contact.

Overall, I learned a lot on privacy in prison from your article. Great job, Jaysdayy! GloriaGu2018 (talk) 04:34, 6 April 2018 (UTC)

Thank you so much for your suggestions! I have definitely made progress on my article. I really want to include the panopticon but I wasn’t sure what else to add. I think it would be great to add more about prisons in the introduction. I wasn’t sure what was appropriate to add and what wasn’t since there is already a page about the general information of “Prison”. Further, I will be adding more information. For the court cases I will be adding more information too. I appreciate your advice on that! In addition, I will be developing my content on cross gender searches. I am having a lot of trouble paraphrasing but I will be adding more information soon. Your suggestions are really helpful! Thank you!

Jaysdayy (talk) 21:38, 6 April 2018 (UTC)

One on One Peer Review
Great progress on your article, Jaysdayy. I can see that you have added more information to each section which is awesome. I am going to send you a link to a document with a more detailed peer review. The primary suggestions I have are being consistent with capitalization for words like Supreme Court, Fourth Amendment, etc. My other edits are primarily rewording suggestions. --Prizmic (talk) 21:43, 12 April 2018 (UTC)

Peer review
Hey Jaysdayy, your detailed article combined with real life cases is very enjoyable to read. I am looking forward to reading more soon. Here is the link with the suggestions on minor punctuations and few wording issues: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cc22sElCGIU0CCBm8GUMR-O4cx7xQosbbr5BcBa-n8/edit?usp=sharing Keep up with your great work! I can’t wait to read more issues about privacy in prison. GloriaGu2018 (talk) 05:59, 20 April 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review
Hi Jaysdayy! Your lead section and background section look great. For the historical section, all I have is that "called" was accidentally written twice. The addition of the Hands-off Doctrine is very interesting!! Maybe as a subsection to the Hands-Off Doctrine, before you start talking about Court Cases, you could add a subheading like "Related Court Cases", just to separate it from the actual doctrine itself. You could also check out the pages Prisoners' rights and Prisoner rights in the United States if you want to add more info to that section. Truthfully the rest of your page seems pretty much complete. Nice job going back and adding more information; I know looking for more sources and pulling out info must have been time consuming. I think this page is definitely ready to be uploaded to the main space!! Great job. --Prizmic (talk) 20:17, 26 April 2018 (UTC)

Hi Prizmic,

I appreciate your feedback! It has been very helpful all throughout lab. I will delete that extra "called", thanks for catching that. I still need a few more things but I will be uploading it to the mainspace soon. Thank you! I look forward to our presentations!

Jaysdayy (talk) 06:23, 27 April 2018 (UTC)