Talk:Pueblo speech/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Tkbrett (talk · contribs) 01:25, 28 May 2021 (UTC)

Hi, I will be giving this article a go.  Tkbrett  (✉) 01:25, 28 May 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * Good.

Background

 * "In a "crusade" that has been described as...": fix passive voicing here. Should be "In a "crusade" that historian Leroy G. Dorsey describes as..." or the name of whoever is doing the describing.
 * First mention of Pueblo should specify Pueblo, Colorado. Also, should be linked.
 * Every sentence in the opening paragraph uses the word "Pueblo", which is distracting. It can be cut from the second and fourth sentence: A contemporary newspaper described the crowd as "a great many"... and When Wilson arrived, he visited...

Speech

 * "in memory of soldiers who died during World War I.": Does the source specify which ones? Presumably it was just American soldiers.
 * Unfortunately, source doesn't specify at all.
 * More passive voicing at Wilson was introduced by Alva Adams, a former Governor of Colorado. -> Former Colorado Governor Alva Adams introduced Wilson.
 * Theodore Roosevelt needs an introduction (e.g. former US President)

Legacy and analysis

 * "feels that it both": both refers to two things, but you list three.
 * Passive voicing: A fragment of the speech was included in the play "Mr. Wilson's Peace of Mind" by Mark Stein. -> Mark Stein's play "Mr. Wilson's Peace of Mind" includes a fragment of the speech.

General comments and verdict

 * copyvio score is 42.9% against a transcript of the speech. The next highest is 23.7%, indicating a violation is unlikely.
 * Image is PD.
 * until the above issues are fixed. I really enjoy these types of articles – ones that are both focused and exhaustive on a very specific event. A nice little page.  Tkbrett  (✉) 18:11, 28 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks, what do you think now? I've just gone directly with your suggestions, except in the one place I responded to you. Eddie891 Talk Work 00:50, 29 May 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅:, it all looks and reads great. As that one source doesn't specify it's best to leave it as is. Great work!  Tkbrett  (✉) 01:28, 29 May 2021 (UTC)