Talk:Puppet Master: Axis of Evil

Untitled
Historically Inaccurate

Whist it is true that the film portrays an axis of evil - comprising Japan & Germany against the USA, the film is miles off in terms of when that happened - the film takes place in 1939 - 2 YEARS before the USA declared war on Japan and Germany. To have this as the thrust of the whole plot (including bomb plots and men going off to "fight the nazis") makes the film makers look ignorant of the facts.

Centre Stand (talk) 15:38, 2 February 2011 (UTC)

Incoherent
What in the world does this even mean? Not only do with have "9th" and "ninth" in the same sentence, but this doesn't even make sense.

"...is the 9th official entry into the Puppet Master series of horror films[2] but the ninth entry that's canon to the series made by Charles Band's Full Moon Features.[3]"

Clearly (only because I've seen the films, and recently at that) the writer is alluding to the fact that this film was made after Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, and while vs. Demonic Toys film is not considered cannon (but nonetheless is without question an "entry in the series"), Axis of Evil is considered cannon as a result of being a product of Charles Band (whereas vs. Demonic Toys is not). — Preceding unsigned comment added by Patrick of J (talk • contribs) 02:31, 5 November 2013 (UTC)

Poorly Written; in Need of Rewrite
While the writer of this seems to have an adequate grasp on the film's plot, virtually everY sentence is fully of sloppy writing.

"The film begins at the Bodega Bay Inn, 1939."

This should read The film begins at the Bodega Bay Inn in 1939. Furthermore, this should not be the opening sentence of the article and ought to be worked into a more comprehensive description of the film's beginning. It's choppy and overly simplistic. This is a story about my dog. My dog is brown. He is a dog that likes cats. Most dogs don't like cats.

"Danny Coogan (Levi Fiehler) is making wooden chairs for a wedding reception for his Uncle Len (Jerry Hoffman), who owns the Inn."

Again, this reads like a 2nd grade book and also manages to be far too descriptive. It's not relevant that he's making chairs for a wedding reception or even that he's making chairs at all. And Inn should not be capitalized.

"Danny tells his uncle that if it was not for his limp, he would be able to go to war, along with his brother Don (Taylor M. Graham), and tells his Uncle that he's going to help Andre Toulon."

Run-on sentence, unrefined, juvenile syntax.

Clauses describing the film on a shot-by-shot basis continue to fill the first paragraph with little relevance to the main story and an exceedingly uninteresting focus on detail. In fact, much of this first paragraph could be highly condensed. Perhaps a better version of the above statements would be:

''Danny Coogan works with his Uncle Len making furniture at the Bodega Bay Inn in 1939. Unlike his brother, Danny's disability prevents him from fighting in World War II. He finds comfort in the company of Andre Toulon, a puppeteer and guest at the inn attempting to flee from the Nazis. While investigating the sound of a gunshot from inside the inn, Danny finds Toulon dead from an apparent suicide and spots a pair of Nazis fleeing the scene. Anxious to contribute to the war effort, he searches Toulon's belongings and finds a number of seemingly ordinary puppets.''


 * We don't need to know about Toulon fleeing to America from Switzerland; none of this even happens in this installment anyway.
 * It doesn't matter what the Nazis were wearing.
 * Nor does it matter that he glimpses one of their faces; this can easily be acknowledged in a later section, something along the lines of Danny recognizes a new worker at the plant where his girlfriend works as one of the Nazis pursuing Toulon, though he has disguised himself as an American.
 * Clunky statements reaffirming Toulon's death and the gun in his hand are superfluous. A one-time mention of "gunshot" and "suicide" is sufficient for a plot summary.

...And this is just the first paragraph. The entire article needs to be rewritten from scratch with less emphasis on minutae and more on the key plot developments of the film.

Patrick of J (talk) 03:04, 5 November 2013 (UTC)