Talk:Qal'at al-Bahrain/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Tomcat7 (talk · contribs) 11:51, 27 November 2012 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:


 * "where the Gods met" - the underlined should be in lowercase
 * " excavations have been carried out since 1954. The first excavation at the site was carried out by a Danish expedition" - duplicated, does not read well. Suggest remove "and excavations have been carried out since 1954." as redundant
 * Units should be converted so that the US readers will understand
 * You linked "tell" the second time
 * Either spaced n-dashes or unspaced m-dashes.
 * " over an area 180000 sqft" - several issues here. First, put a comma in the centre of the number. Sqft should be converted to US unit, and the phrase is not correct. Something like "over an 180,000 sqft area" would be better
 * The sentence "The strata spread over an area 180000 sqft, laid out over the 300×600m tell, testifies to continuous human presence from about 2300 BC to the 16th century AD." needs to be reworded completely
 * "The site was the capital of the Dilmun, one of the most important ancient civilizations of the region" - you already linked Dilmun, and already stated what they were
 * "sarcophagus" - if only one, then add "a"
 * " revealed "snake bowls", sarcophagus and a mirror, and many others " - the underlined is unclear. Perhaps write "among other things" (sounds better, imho)
 * "with clay and or mortar as binding material. " - decide between "and" or "or"
 * "The houses had with plastered floors and were spacious." - not sure what this means
 * " The village had well laid out streets.[11]" - odd sentence. Can you reword it to a simple active sentence?
 * Why you suddenly introduce hectar, foot?
 * " and the walls were built with varying thickness with stone masonry with gates to allow for donkey carrying loads to pass through." - three times with, plus weak wording
 * Several odd wordings in "Layout". For example: "where after it was deserted" - do you mean "after when it was deserted"?
 * " copper pieces, a socketed spearhead, fishing tools" - suggest "copper pieces, fishing tools and a socketed spearhead"
 * "small and large crucibles used for melting of the metal were recovered" - begins with a lowercase "small"
 * The article should be really copyedited. The upper sections are Ok, but the prose quality becomes worse and worse. --Tomcat (7) 12:18, 30 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Will get to work on these soon, thanks! --Droodkin (talk) 12:39, 30 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Okay, I've done most, if not all, of the stuff mentioned above. I'm sorry I didn't find them earlier. It should be fine now, though a copy-edit is needed (alas, I don't have free time :--Droodkin (talk) 13:12, 30 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I made some changes. Now I think it meets the criteria. Regards.--Tomcat (7) 12:40, 4 December 2012 (UTC)