Talk:R2K: The Concert/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:04, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

I will review this one tomorrow! --K. Peake 10:04, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Pipe Araneta Center to Araneta City in the infobox    ✅
 * The alternate title is not sourced anywhere in the body --
 * Add a comma after tenth studio album ✅
 * The first para is only three sentences long; maybe add another notable sentence, like the one about Velasquez being nervous? --
 * "Buttefly" → "Butterfly" ✅
 * The inspiration sentence should be the second sentence of the second para instead ✅
 * The set list including songs from her previous albums is not directly mentioned in the body's prose ✅ --
 * "as well as covers of pop hits" → "It also featured covers of pop hits" with the pipe ✅
 * "during the shows." → "during the concert." also, this should be next to the critical reception in the third para instead ✅
 * Pipe music critics to Music journalism ✅
 * The best shows in Asia accolade(s) is not sourced ✅

Background and development

 * Img looks good, apart from the sold out part not being sourced anywhere in prose
 * "The cover album contained remakes" → "The cover album contains remakes" with the pipe ✅
 * Wikilink music videos ✅
 * [1] is invoked too much per WP:OVERCITE; apart from the first sentence because that is non-consecutive, only cite after the fourth ✅
 * "a commercial success: it sold over" → "a commercial success, selling over" ✅
 * "in its second week of release and earned a" → "in the second week of release and earning a" also, add the organization that certified it ✅ --
 * "she performed in small venue tours[3] which" → "Velasquez performed in small venue tours,[3] which" ✅
 * Only invoke [6] after the second sentence ✅
 * Brian Mcknight → Brian McKnight with the wikilink ✅
 * Remove commas around Viva Concerts ✅
 * [9] should only be cited once in the sentence ✅
 * Pipe Folks Art Theater to Tanghalang Francisco Balagtas ✅
 * "big show coming up"." → "big show coming up."" per MOS:QUOTE, if this is a full sentence ✅
 * [10] should not be invoked after the first sentence of the second para; the others are fine per them being quotes and one the last sentence ✅
 * Video looks good!
 * [15] should only be invoked once in the Paul Abdul sentence ✅
 * Pipe Rajo Laurel to Laurel family (Philippines) ✅
 * [18] should only be invoked once in the two consecutive sentences solely citing this ref ✅

Concert synopsis

 * Apart from the sentence where two refs are used, [12] should only be invoked once after a group of consecutive sentences ✅
 * ""Larger than Life" before" → ""Larger than Life", before" ✅
 * "of "One Love" then went directly" → "of "One Love", transitioning directly" with the pipe per MOS:LINK2SECT and shouldn't you mention who all the songs covered are by? ✅
 * Img looks good!
 * "falling out of love before" → "falling out of love, before" ✅
 * ""For the Love of You" where Velasquez" → "For the Love of You", where Velasquez"
 * [12][19] duo should only be invoked once for the first two sentences ✅
 * The third sentence should cite [19] after the comma, followed by [12] after the full-stop ✅
 * "of "Sana Maulit Mulit" before continuing" → "of "Sana Maulit Mulit", before continuing" ✅
 * Remove wikilink on pyrotechnics ✅
 * After [20], [12] should only be invoked at the end of the closing sentence ✅

Reception and recordings

 * Wikilink pyrotechnics on the quote box, also do not use double quotation marks inside other ones --
 * "The concerts received positive responses from critics who" → "The concert was met with positive responses from critics, who" ✅
 * The second sentence of Ricky Lo's review should be put into your own words more, especially when there is a quote box from him ✅
 * "began his review with" should have a comma after it if the sentence from the original source begins at this point ✅
 * "pop artist has"." → "pop artist has."" per MOS:QUOTE ✅
 * Remove wikilink on Celine Dion ✅
 * "called it "the most" → "noted "the most" ✅
 * "her costumes as "grand and lavish" while" → "Velasquez's costumes as "grand and lavish", while" ✅
 * Mention the writer instead of attributing the comments to the Manila Standard, also the speech marks are not ended ✅
 * Same as above for attribution of the Philippine Daily Inquirer comments ✅
 * "It previewed multiple snippets of" → "The film featured previews of multiple snippets of" ✅
 * [23] should only be invoked after the second of the two sentences per WP:OVERCITE ✅

Set list

 * Good

Personnel

 * Use so there is the right space between personnel and roles ✅

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; nice work on this! --K. Peake 09:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your thorough review I have addressed the above points and provided a few comments in blue to support changes made. Let me know if I may have missed anything or if there are items that remain unaddressed. Thanks Pseud 14 (talk) 14:03, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, good work from you even though I made a couple of copyedits! --K. Peake 16:27, 27 June 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you ! Much appreciate your review and the improvements/edits you've made. Cheers! Pseud 14 (talk) 17:16, 27 June 2022 (UTC)