Talk:Rahmah el Yunusiyah/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 14:52, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the ✅ tag to state when something is addressed.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Lede

 * There's four refs in lede - are they necessary? Can we encorporate to the body instead?  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:49, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Removed all refs from the lead, per WP:LEADCITE - they were not really necessary there as pointed out.


 * Might be worth a heading note that the last name is "el Yunusiyah". family name hatnote is the template.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:49, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Added.


 * She died in 1969 - could we expand slightly?  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:49, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Added details of her age and place of death.

General

 * You link to the Dutch West Indies in the lede, you should also in the body.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Added.


 * (most likely Arabic language as well as the Jawi alphabet and Van Ophuijsen Spelling System for local languages) - this would be better served as a note.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Added as a note, along with a new Notes section.


 * (Dutch: Vrouwenbond dan Meisyeskring, Indonesian: Perkumpulan Wanita dan Kelompok Gadis) - same for this.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)


 * brother Zainuddin - comma before and after Zainuddin.  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)


 * girls.[1][2][13][14] - this might be a case of WP:CITEKILL. Either remove one of WP:BUNDLING.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Fixed.


 * mosque; el Yunusiyah herself was the main teacher. - where she was the main teacher.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Adjusted.


 * In 1924 - these should have a comma after. check throughout.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Think I got them all.


 * The nationalist figure Rasuna Said had been a student in the mixed gender Dinayah school and assistant teacher in the girls' school since 1923; Said incorporated politics into her courses, until she eventually came into a disagreement with el Yunusiyah and left the school for Padang in 1930.[ - this is a hell of a sentence. Suggest reword for readability.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Yes, that one did get away from us a little bit, didn't it!


 * students.[11][18][19][20] - CITEKILL again.  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Fixed.


 * 1930s: continued advocacy - considering the other headers don't have the dates, probably not necessary.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Adjusted.

Review meta comments

 * I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 14:52, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Great work - there wasn't really much here to critique. I'm going to pass this article now. If you get bored, feel free to take a look at any of my nominations. Great work.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 21:09, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you! I may well take a look at one of your nominations when I get done with the review I'm currently working on. —Ganesha811 (talk) 21:18, 15 October 2022 (UTC)