Talk:Raiden (Metal Gear)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 16:35, 12 July 2012 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * "appearing as a trained member of the FOXHOUND special forces participating in his first mission. " - a word or a comma is missing here. Maybe add "and" after "special forces"?
 * Done.


 * third "u" in "Sukarua Sutsu" should be an "ū", as you used the Hepburn format throughout
 * Done.


 * "An organization known The Patriots " - I would add "known as"
 * Done.


 * "(shown at E3 2005)" - I think this is trivia
 * Removed.


 * "version of Raiden appears in Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops Plus expansion pack" - in the Metal Gear, as you wrote "expansion pack" at the end
 * Done.


 * I would just write "AI" instead of with the redundant periods
 * Done.


 * "(a deleted scene from the original game due to the September 11 attacks)" - I think that should be integrated, ie without the brackets, as that is important
 * Done.


 * "the decision to make a new character the main playable one of Metal Gear Solid 2 (instead of Solid Snake) stemmed from the developer's desire to develop Snake from a third-person perspective instead of treating Snake like a rookie again." - long and complicated sentence
 * Trimmed and reworded.


 * Link "VR" (virtual reality?) in Analysis, or describe it
 * Done.
 * The phrases in brackets are distracting; try to eliminate as many as possible and merged the phrases with other
 * Removed some of them and reworded the others.


 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * Minor: Overlinking of 1Up.com and GameSport
 * Removed link 1UP in reception. Can't find another GameSpot link in the body.


 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * Some of the content in the brackets is trivial and out of place
 * Reworked.


 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall: Minor corrections needed, but otherwise an excellent article. -- GoP T C N 20:10, 13 July 2012 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall: Minor corrections needed, but otherwise an excellent article. -- GoP T C N 20:10, 13 July 2012 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:


 * Pass Very interesting article. -- GoP T C N 08:27, 14 July 2012 (UTC)