Talk:Rashmika Mandanna/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Magentic Manifestations (talk · contribs) 09:32, 2 May 2024 (UTC)

I will be taking this up for review. Expect comments shortly. Magentic Manifestations (talk) 09:32, 2 May 2024 (UTC)

Comments

 * Lead
 * 1) Move references to the article
 * 2) "... who primarily works in Telugu, Kannada and Hindi films". Based on filmography, it shoud either be "..who works in Telugu, Kannada, Tamil and Hindi films..." or "who primarily works in Telugu and Kannada films..."
 * 3) "with her highest-grossing release in the action thriller Animal (2023)." - replace in with being


 * Early life
 * 1) Move citations to after end of the line punctuation
 * 2) Source does not cite that she is a Kodava Hindu, it merely references her mother tongue as Kodava language. People and language are two different things.
 * 3) "Her family had struggled financially, having difficulties finding a home and being able to pay rent" - When?
 * 4) "As a child, Rashmika attended Coorg Public School, a boarding school located in Gonikoppal, in which she excelled academically." - Source neither mentions it is a boarding school not talks about how she performed in the studies
 * 5) "However, during this time period, she expressed feeling "misunderstood" because of communication challenges, resulting in her "crying in my room for hours" and struggling to connect with peers" - Either the full sentence shall be in her own words or derived and not a mixture. It should rather be, "she expressed being misunderstood because of communication challenges, resulting in her crying in her room often and struggling to connect with her peers."
 * 6) "In 2014, Rashmika and another contestant were awarded The Times of India's Clean and Clear Fresh Face; the award was presented to her by Akshay Kumar." - "In 2014, Rashmika was awarded "Clean and Clear Fresh Face" award by Times of India, which was presented to her by actor Akshay Kumar.", any details on what the award is all about might also help.


 * Early work and breakthrough (2016–2020)
 * 1) In the first line, source neither states that she made her debut in the film nor it describes the film as a romantic comedy. It also does not state that it is one of the highest grossers in history.
 * 2) Times of India linked already in the para above
 * 3) Dubious source for SIIMA award
 * 4) "she appeared in two Kannada films— the action picture Anjani Putra and romantic comedy Chamak" - Same as the first line; no description of the movies being action/romance
 * 5) "Expanding to Telugu cinema in 2018, Rashmika starred opposite Naga Shaurya in the comedy drama Chalo, a film following two lovers of opposing groups in a fictional segregated village" - Source does not mention the storyline or that it is a comedy film
 * 6) " Geetha, a strong-willed and independent woman " - source?
 * 7) the film grossed over ₹132 crore, emerging a financial success and Rashmika’s first film to gross over ₹1 billion (US$13 million) at the domestic box-office - source states 120 crore? mention of Rashmika's first success
 * 8) "...directorial Devadas in which her role..." - Devadas, in which
 * 9) "In 2019, Rashmika returned to Kannada cinema with the Darshan-led Yajamana which follows a man that attempts to prevent a relentless business tycoon from exploiting a village of its oil" - source does not state the story-line? What does Darshan led mean?
 * 10) "Rashmika's second and ultimate release of the year was the Telugu romantic action drama Dear Comrade, where she portrayed the role of a talented cricket player who, following sexist remarks and discrimination, loses her passion for the sport." - not properly sourced; "ultimate" is not required in the context
 * 11) "...Rashmika’s first commercial failure" - source?
 * 12) " action comedy Sarileru Neekevvaru, which went on to become one of the top-grossing Telugu films" - sources for action comedy, highest grossing?
 * 13) "Telugu romantic comedy Bheeshma" - source?


 * Career expansion (2021–present)
 * 1) "morally-driven school teacher" - source?
 * 2) "Set against the backdrop of the smuggling syndicate of red sandalwood" - source?
 * 3) "Arjun’s love interest," - sentence ends with fullstop
 * 4) "the unremarkable Telugu" - what does unremarkable mean here, required?
 * 5) "as a grief-stricken daughter struggling to cope with the loss of her mother" - source?
 * 6) "Hindi spy thriller .....a visually-impaired woman" - source?
 * 7) "her character was poorly received and the film was panned by critics due to its unduly nationalistic views" - source neither does state about her character nor give any critics reviews
 * 8) "Pushpa 2: The Rule[86] and headline the female-led films" - Move source to end of sentence; female led - source?
 * 9) "Rashmika will next star in three Telugu films: she will reprise her role as Srivalli in the sequel Pushpa 2: The Rule and headline the female-led films, Rainbow and The Girlfriend. She will also portray Yesubai Bhonsale, opposite Vicky Kaushal's Sambhaji, in the Hindi historical drama Chaava and be seen alongside Dhanush in Sekhar Kammula's Tamil-Telugu bilingual film Kubera." - Contradictions, first line says "three Telugu films" but later it states that the second film is a Hindi film and the third one is a bilingual.
 * 10) "She will also portray Yesubai Bhonsale,"-source?


 * Personal life
 * 1) "Rashmika began dating her co-star Rakshit Shetty during the making of Kirik Party," - source states that they acted together?


 * In the media
 * 1) Move sources to end of line
 * 2) Last para about deepfake - Place the sources appropriately at the end of the sentences cited. Do not do WP:CITEOVERKILL at the end.


 * General and additional comments
 * 1) Regarding citations, please use uniform and standard formatting across the article. For all news sources, use "cite news" with newspaper tag used with link such as newspaper=The Times of India. Dates shall be in uniform formatting, better to have it in the format "1 December 2023" rather than different formats like "2023-12-01" or "01-12-2023" or "1 December 2023".

19Arham, it would be better if you address each comment specifically and indicate the progress on how you had addressed it. On dipstick, there are still comments which are unaddressed. (E.g. still citations have all CAPS) You also seemed to have removed the entire section of her upcoming/future films, any reason? Magentic Manifestations (talk) 05:28, 3 May 2024 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * Move references to the article - Moved
 * "... who primarily works in Telugu, Kannada and Hindi films". Based on filmography, it shoud either be "..who works in Telugu, Kannada, Tamil and Hindi films..." or "who primarily works in Telugu and Kannada films...", second option selected
 * "with her highest-grossing release in the action thriller Animal (2023)." - replace in with being - changed
 * Early life
 * Move citations to after end of the line punctuation - ✔️
 * Source does not cite that she is a Kodava Hindu, it merely references her mother tongue as Kodava language. People and language are two different things. - citation added
 * "Her family had struggled financially, having difficulties finding a home and being able to pay rent" - When? - information added
 * "As a child, Rashmika attended Coorg Public School, a boarding school located in Gonikoppal, in which she excelled academically." - Source neither mentions it is a boarding school not talks about how she performed in the studies - citation added
 * "However, during this time period, she expressed feeling "misunderstood" because of communication challenges, resulting in her "crying in my room for hours" and struggling to connect with peers" - Either the full sentence shall be in her own words or derived and not a mixture. It should rather be, "she expressed being misunderstood because of communication challenges, resulting in her crying in her room often and struggling to connect with her peers." - wording altered
 * "In 2014, Rashmika and another contestant were awarded The Times of India's Clean and Clear Fresh Face; the award was presented to her by Akshay Kumar." - "In 2014, Rashmika was awarded "Clean and Clear Fresh Face" award by Times of India, which was presented to her by actor Akshay Kumar.", any details on what the award is all about might also help. - details added with source
 * Early work and breakthrough (2016–2020)
 * In the first line, source neither states that she made her debut in the film nor it describes the film as a romantic comedy. It also does not state that it is one of the highest grossers in history. Citation added
 * Times of India linked already in the para above - ✔️
 * Dubious source for SIIMA award - stronger source added
 * "she appeared in two Kannada films— the action picture Anjani Putra and romantic comedy Chamak" - Same as the first line; no description of the movies being action/romance - sources added
 * "Expanding to Telugu cinema in 2018, Rashmika starred opposite Naga Shaurya in the comedy drama Chalo, a film following two lovers of opposing groups in a fictional segregated village" - Source does not mention the storyline or that it is a comedy film - sources added
 * " Geetha, a strong-willed and independent woman " - source? - sources added
 * the film grossed over ₹132 crore, emerging a financial success and Rashmika’s first film to gross over ₹1 billion (US$13 million) at the domestic box-office - source states 120 crore? mention of Rashmika's first success - sources added and gross altered
 * "...directorial Devadas in which her role..." - Devadas, in which - ✔️
 * "In 2019, Rashmika returned to Kannada cinema with the Darshan-led Yajamana which follows a man that attempts to prevent a relentless business tycoon from exploiting a village of its oil" - source does not state the story-line? What does Darshan led mean? - sources added and wording altered
 * "Rashmika's second and ultimate release of the year was the Telugu romantic action drama Dear Comrade, where she portrayed the role of a talented cricket player who, following sexist remarks and discrimination, loses her passion for the sport." - not properly sourced; "ultimate" is not required in the context - sources added and “ultimate” removed
 * "...Rashmika’s first commercial failure" - removed completely
 * " action comedy Sarileru Neekevvaru, which went on to become one of the top-grossing Telugu films" - sources for action comedy, highest grossing? - sources added
 * "Telugu romantic comedy Bheeshma" - sources added
 * Career expansion (2021–present)
 * "morally-driven school teacher" - sources added
 * "Set against the backdrop of the smuggling syndicate of red sandalwood" - sources added
 * "Arjun’s love interest," - sentence ends with fullstop - ✔️
 * "the unremarkable Telugu" - what does unremarkable mean here, required - wording altered
 * "as a grief-stricken daughter struggling to cope with the loss of her mother" - sources added
 * "Hindi spy thriller .....a visually-impaired woman" - sources added
 * "her character was poorly received and the film was panned by critics due to its unduly nationalistic views" - source neither does state about her character nor give any critics reviews - sources added
 * "Pushpa 2: The Rule[86] and headline the female-led films" - Move source to end of sentence; female led - sources added
 * "Rashmika will next star in three Telugu films: she will reprise her role as Srivalli in the sequel Pushpa 2: The Rule and headline the female-led films, Rainbow and The Girlfriend. She will also portray Yesubai Bhonsale, opposite Vicky Kaushal's Sambhaji, in the Hindi historical drama Chaava and be seen alongside Dhanush in Sekhar Kammula's Tamil-Telugu bilingual film Kubera." - Contradictions, first line says "three Telugu films" but later it states that the second film is a Hindi film and the third one is a bilingual. - wording altered
 * "She will also portray Yesubai Bhonsale,"- sources added
 * Personal life
 * "Rashmika began dating her co-star Rakshit Shetty during the making of Kirik Party," - source states that they acted together? - sources added
 * In the media
 * Move sources to end of line - ✔️
 * Last para about deepfake - Place the sources appropriately at the end of the sentences cited. Do not do WP:CITEOVERKILL at the end. - ✔️
 * 19Arham (talk) 08:15, 4 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Most comments on have been addressed. Please work on the citation formatting. Refer to comments on 2a. and general comments section above. Magentic Manifestations (talk) 13:01, 4 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Will do now 19Arham (talk) 13:30, 4 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Citation formatting has been altered, the two that had been capitalised have been handled 19Arham (talk) 13:47, 4 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Still the formatting issue with the citations remain as is. There needs to be uniformity in the citations:
 * a. Either use Cite/cite
 * b. Link all the work/newspaper/publishers in the citations
 * c. Use cite news with newspaper for all news citations, cite web for web references uniformly etc.
 * d. Language is not required for English citations, it is default! Magentic Manifestations (talk) 07:24, 5 May 2024 (UTC)
 * I'm slightly confused on what the issue is, I'm genuinely not saying you're wrong I just don't understand what's being asked of me. Sorry. 19Arham (talk) 12:22, 5 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Fixed all capitalised Cite references, all dates are in the same format, web and newspapers have been wl. anything else? 19Arham (talk) 12:26, 5 May 2024 (UTC)
 * This review has been prolonging due to lingering issues. You have been making conflicting edits, adding/making unwarranted changes apart from review comments.
 * a. Why have you moved the Forbes line to the top of the lead section? It is a list which can at best be mentioned later and not required in the first para of the lead.
 * b. "sponsored by American dermatology brand Clean & Clear" - too much explanation is not required as the brand is already linked
 * c. "Shetty offered her the role after discovering her following a pageant win." - "Shetty offered her the role after coming across her in a beauty pageant" seems better
 * d. "For the film, she learnt a new dialect of Telugu known as Chittoor." - What is this? Chittoor is a place and not a dialect of Telugu. Either it should be, she learnt the Chittoor dialect of Telugu or simply a new dialect as it was previously.
 * Also, have clearly explained the issues with the citations. Repeating the same:
 * a. You need to link the publisher or source to the respective article across the citations. For e.g. in #34, "The Times of India" is not linked
 * b. "Language=en" parameter is not required as English is default.
 * c. You need to use "cite news" uniformly for all the news articles with either newspaper or work used in the corresponding citation. E.g. "cite web |date=2018-09-11 |title=Imaikkaa Nodigal leads TN box-office for second consecutive weekend ...|website=Firstpost-us" should rather be "cite news |date=2018-09-11 |title=Imaikkaa Nodigal leads TN box-office for second consecutive weekend; Geetha Govindam continues its rise ... |newspaper=Firstpost"
 * Magentic Manifestations (talk) 05:09, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * So once I finish all of this, the article can be promoted? Sorry for the conflicting edits as well. 19Arham (talk) 12:36, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Let me know once you are done with the required changes. If there are no further issues, it can get through! Magentic Manifestations (talk) 05:33, 7 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Everything is finally finished. Thank you so much for your help! 19Arham (talk) 21:07, 7 May 2024 (UTC)
 * I guess the article has been sufficiently improved to satisfy the criteria. Congrats on your first GA! Magentic Manifestations (talk) 04:04, 8 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Thank you for all your help! 19Arham (talk) 06:45, 8 May 2024 (UTC)