Talk:Rebel Heart Tour/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 17:55, 26 March 2018 (UTC)

Lead

 * It was officially announced → Change "It" to "The tour" to avoid repetition
 * as well films like 300 (2006) → as well as by films like 300 (2006)
 * Madonna's career with songs from Rebel Heart. → Madonna's career along with material from Rebel Heart
 * The tour grossed $169.8 million → replace "The tour" with "Rebel Heart Tour" to avoid repetition
 * This ranked her in third on the → This ranked her in third place on the

Infobox

 * Image needs alternative text describing what the viewer can see in the picture

Background

 * eastern Asia → Eastern Asia
 * Link hacker
 * throughout Europe and end → add a comma before "and"
 * of the postponement and the first date → of the postponement and announced that the first date
 * According to Billboard, Rebel Heart → leaving the "Tour" out could lead to confusions, so I would stick with it

Conception and rehearsals

 * While composing Rebel Heart → While composing material for Rebel Heart
 * Madonna admitted liking the rehearsals and the creative process during a tour, since she could be in her casual cloths and not bother about her looks, just be engrossed in the development → Madonna admitted liking the tour's rehearsals and creative process, noting her involvance in its development
 * work behind the scenes of Rebel Heart Tour → work behind the scenes of the Rebel Heart Tour
 * Madonna was still working on the set list → you don't need the "still"
 * However, picking the set list was hard since the singer wanted to perform songs from Rebel Heart as well as her previous discography. It was challenging since "thematically the songs → Madonna saw a challenge in alternating between material from Rebel Heart and her previous works, since "thematically..."
 * representing a journey with her personal statements and opinions. → don't really know what you mean by this
 * as well as films like 300 → as well as from films like 300
 * and dance-forms that would inspire the audience → and dance routines that would appeal to the audience
 * was hired during the dancer auditions → was hired for the auditions to select backup dancers for the show
 * Madonna liked her work and enlisted to choreograph two songs for the show → I guess something's missing here, as it does not make any sense
 * come up with the execution → I feel like "routines" would be better here instead of "the execution"
 * flamenco inspired choreography → flamenco-inspired choreography
 * DJ → write out to disc jockey
 * She thought it would be interesting since she believed → The singer thought of the idea since she believed
 * as opening act → as the opening act

Stage and venue setup

 * They started and brainstorming → no need for the "and"
 * with the heart at the tip → with the heart at its tip (for clarification)
 * Behind the main stage three large video → comma before "three"
 * within half-a-minute → within half a minute
 * The screen showed the visuals by Moment → The screen showed visuals created by Moment
 * Although not recommended to use steel because of its heavy weight and enormity → Although it was not recommended to use the steel because of its heavy weight and enormity
 * which was about 6 feet (1.8 m) tall only → remove "only"
 * along with lots of flowers → along with several flowers
 * After the final performance, the singer left the venue directly from the stage to her hotel → This is really irrelevant here and can be removed

Costume design

 * to Women's Wear Daily. They include → connect this sentence to: "to Women's Wear Daily; they include"
 * black and fuchsia colored jacket → black and fuchsia-colored jacket
 * and jacquard bodysuit → and a jacquard bodysuit
 * Phillips was impressed with the dress saying → comma before "saying"
 * Madonna worked with Scott and wanted → Madonna worked with Scott and desired
 * and the choreography was 100% finalized → and the choreography was fully finalized
 * Madonna did not gave a final sign → Madonna did not give a final sign
 * Thumbnail > geisha inspired performance → geisha-inspired performance

Multimedia and videos

 * Montreal based multimedia company → Montreal-based multimedia company
 * confinement, love, sex, violence among others → confinement, love, sex and violence, among others
 * The idea for using fan artwork during the "Rebel Heart" song grew from this. → The idea of using fan artwork during performances of "Rebel Heart" emerged from this thought
 * and they were displayed as a live digital gallery → with them displayed as a live digital gallery
 * Many layering and rendering → Several layering and rendering
 * Different multimedia software were used to create the clips, like → Different multimedia software were used to create the clips, including

Light and sound

 * sitting on the side areas.. → there's one full stop too much
 * That way one need not have full knowledge about the physical stage → This sentence is quite irrelevant and is already included in "relevant personnel"; remove this
 * During the show the singer ventured → comma after "show"

Concert synopsis

 * large gold pikes, came out onto the catwalk → large gold pikes; they came out onto the catwalk
 * were dressed as pole dancing nuns accompanied her → were dressed as pole dancing nuns and accompanied her
 * dancers waving large white cloths in front of fans → dancers wavied large white cloths in front of the audience
 * The album track "Messiah" played as scenes from the "Ghosttown" music video played on the screens → The album track "Messiah" played while scenes from the "Ghosttown" music video were shown on the screens
 * where eight dancers portrayed sexual positions → where eight dancers enacted sexual positions
 * The title track closed → The album's title track + unlink it here and link it at the end of the "Multimedia and video" section
 * climbed 20 feet poles → climbed 20-feet poles
 * A slowed down version of "Material Girl" → A slowed-down version of "Material Girl"
 * Unlink "Material Girl", as mentioned before already
 * terming the person with the titular name → terming the person with their titular name
 * the banana part was quite funny actually, btw...

Ticket sales

 * with the top price in $300–$350 range → with the top price in the $300–$350 range
 * secondary markets indicated that it would become → secondary markets indicated that Rebel Heart Tour would become (for clarification)
 * than singer Taylor Swift's → you don't need "singer" here
 * The show of October 24 at Las Vegas became the most expensive date with average price → The show of October 24 in Las Vegas became the most expensive date with an average price
 * Tickets for the shows started selling out fast → Tickets for the shows started selling out rapidly
 * sold out within minutes after going on sale → sold out within minutes after of availability
 * and finally general public → and ultimately general public
 * concert in Taiwan sold out in 15 minutes prompting → comma before "prompting"
 * a record for the fastest selling → a record for the fastest-selling

Boxscore

 * with total gross of $3.4 million → with a total gross of $3.4 million
 * drew a total of 40,557 audience → drew a total of 40,557 in audience
 * the tour placed at number 11 → the tour was placed at number 11
 * were published on March 2016 → were published in March 2016
 * the tour ranked at number four, grossing $85.5 million → the tour was ranked at number four, grossing $85.5 million
 * is ranked third on all-time top-grossing Billboard Boxscore list → is ranked third on the all-time top-grossing Billboard Boxscore list

North America

 * Unlink "Billboard" in the last paragraph
 * I didn't find any other mistake here

Europe

 * attended the show at Stockholm → attended the show in Stockholm
 * and declared it as better than the MDNA Tour → and called it superior to the MDNA Tour
 * but was complimentary about the ending of the show, and the messages of love and positivism → comma before "and" is not needed
 * referring to her falling down at the Brit Awards 2015. → referencing her falling down at the Brit Awards 2015.
 * Unlink "The Guardian", as mentioned before
 * Unlink "Deeper and Deeper" for similar reasons
 * Mark Savage noted that the show's strongest moments come when Madonna → Mark Savage noted that its strongest moments came when Madonna

Asia and Oceania

 * and the crowd → and observed that the crowd
 * Everything else is on point here

Controversies

 * Thumbnail > flag of the country she was performing at → flag of the country she was performing in
 * Her appearance at Manchester attracted → Her appearance in Manchester attracted
 * many of the concertgoers → several of the attenders
 * of a 17-year old girl → of a 17-year old woman
 * Georgiou, on stage by pulling down her top → remove comma

Recording and broadcast

 * behind the scenes → behind-the-scenes
 * The cover image was photographed by fashion photographer Joshua Brandão → This sentence should be removed alltogether, as it's not relevant in any way to the tour article

Outcome

 * Hi there! I'm very surprised by the fact that you've implemented so many comments from the last GAN I've conducted, bringing the article in a very good shape. Reading through it was considerably easier than a few months ago. Little more has to be adressed before I can promote this and you can nominate the whole Rebel Heart topic for GT. I'm placing this for 7 days in order to allow you to adress the ramaining issues. Best of regards and good luck; Cartoon network freak (talk) 00:19, 5 April 2018 (UTC)
 * I have addressed all comments and I'm done with the article. Please check and see. :) Thanks for the wonderful review comments. — IB [ Poke ] 17:00, 5 April 2018 (UTC)
 * Gladly passing this, as all issues from this and the first GAN have been adressed. Also, good luck with promoting the Rebel Heart topic! Best; Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:38, 5 April 2018 (UTC)