Talk:Red-throated loon/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Hi, I'll be doing this review. The article looks pretty polished already, but I'll give it a careful read over the next couple of days and see if I can find anything to nitpick about :) Sasata (talk) 17:25, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

As mentioned, the article is already in nice shape. I'll leave a few suggestions and comments below to think about. Sasata (talk) 07:03, 13 July 2009 (UTC)

Lede
 * suggest linking: pair bond, clutch
 * "During the breeding season, it acquires the distinctive reddish throat patch which gives rise to its common name." "gives rise" = to cause or instigate, doesn't seem to be the best word choice here
 * changed to During the breeding season, it acquires the distinctive reddish throat patch which is the basis for its common name; is that okay?

Tax & ety
 * link specific epithet

Description
 * link wingspan
 * "The sexes are similar," suggest adding "...in appearance"
 * The latter part of the first paragraph does not have any citations, so it would be difficult to verify the information. Please put a cit at the end of the paragraph, even if it's a repeat of the last cit.

Hab & dist
 * link vagrancy
 * "including the Mediterranean, Aegean and Black Seas" Link these locations, imho. If I'm a 12 year old kid, chances are I won't know where these placed are, and I don't want to have to type stuff in the search box to find out
 * "It has occurred as a vagrant as far south as Morocco, Tunisia and The Gambia." I think these locations might be unfamiliar enough to warrant wikilinking.
 * "Some of its folknames..." I don't think folknames is a single word. Also, consider piping link to common name (folkname also used in Behaviour section)

Behaviour
 * consider defining or wiktionary-linking diurnal  Wikilinked to diurnality; is that sufficient, or would you prefer definition?
 * link moult
 * "...the Red-throated Diver loses its ability to fly sometime between early August and November." Am wondering if these dates referring to a general locale like N. America, or is this true of its entire Holarctic range? ''That's true throughout its range (which is all in the northern hemisphere.  Nevertheless, I reworded it to say "...loses its ability to fly sometime between late summer and late autumn" to avoid any hint of northern hemisphere bias!'
 * link fledging, clutch, Ornithologists except for clutch, which was linked higher up
 * "both parents feed them (small aquatic invertebrates initially, then small fish) for 38–48 days." How about removing the parentheses and making the parenthetical thought a full-fledged member of the sentence?

Conservation...
 * "global population trends haven't been quantified." Avoid contractions in formal writing
 * link mercury, predator

In human culture
 * "...traditionally used to make caps, collars and other clothing trim." Reword to eliminate possible ambiguity in the word trim
 * Changed to In some parts of Russia, Red-throated Diver skins were traditionally used to make caps and various clothing decorations, including collars.
 * link creation mythologies
 * "the Red-throated Diver was thought to be a foreteller of storms;" Is this wording preferable? "the behaviour of the RTD was used to forecast the weather;

Questions:
 * how long does this bird live? Added to modified "Breeding and survival" section
 * are there any similar species with which I might confuse this bird?
 * any distinctive flocking behaviour?
 * common parasites? viral diseases?

I've noticed GAN is usually just a pitstop before FAC for most bird articles I review; with that in mind, here's some advance ideas
 * suggest to add a profile of bird in flight (even just a cartoon outline would be informative)
 * add non-breaking spaces after numbers&before units
 * Is there a way to do this while using the "convert" template, or do I need to remove/replace those template uses?
 * I think the convert template automatically converts to nbsps for you. Also, don't forget to add them before units like "days" and "weeks". Sasata (talk) 17:56, 14 July 2009 (UTC)


 * ISBN for first book source?
 * refs 37,40,41,43 needs endash for page range; ref 18 has different page range format; ref 15 no year listed


 * Checklinks shows that reference 36 is 404'd

This article meets all the GA criteria listed below, and I see no reason not to promote at this time. Well done! Sasata (talk) 04:32, 18 July 2009 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * The article is well-written and it complies with MOS.


 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c(OR):
 * Well-referenced to reliable sources.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * I thought it was a good overview, compares well with coverage of other bird articles (both GA and FA).
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * All images have appropriate free use licenses.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Thanks, Sasata, for a thoughtful and rigorous GA review; the article is definitely stronger as a result. MeegsC | Talk 07:52, 18 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Thanks, Sasata, for a thoughtful and rigorous GA review; the article is definitely stronger as a result. MeegsC | Talk 07:52, 18 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks, Sasata, for a thoughtful and rigorous GA review; the article is definitely stronger as a result. MeegsC | Talk 07:52, 18 July 2009 (UTC)