Talk:Red Flavor/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:35, 19 February 2021 (UTC)

Took a brief look through this article and its sources before opening this review and I can say that unlike "Happiness", this won't be failed during my review! Should be good to leave comments later on today, though. --K. Peake 06:35, 19 February 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead
✅
 * Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox song ✅
 * Recording date in the infobox is not sourced anywhere ✅
 * The studio is unsourced but can be in the body from the liner notes, as I will instruct later on ✅
 * Remove venue parameter since that is for live recordings ✅
 * Only the electropop genre is sourced ✅
 * Target Kenzie to Kenzie (songwriter) ✅
 * "Korean special extended play" → "Korean special extended play," ✅
 * "songwriter Kenzie and produced by" → "songwriter Kenzie, and produced by" ✅
 * The producers should also be mentioned as songwriters like the infobox says, per the EP's liner notes too; write out in the body though ✅
 * ""Red Flavor" is primarily a" → "it is primarily a" because you can use "it" here due to the later language making it clear you are referring to the song ✅
 * "with "dramatic synths and a percussive melody"" → "with synths and percussion." to avoid quoting that is inappropriate for the lead and for not having a run-on sentence ✅
 * "that reflects the summer sonic vibe," → "The song reflects the summer sonic vibe," but where is the vibe being "sonic" mentioned? Maybe change to "funky" like the body says, or something similar. ✅
 * Remove target on love ✅
 * Wikilink lead single to itself ✅
 * "from The Red Summer on" → "from the EP on" ✅
 * Wikilink SM Entertainment ✅
 * "which sees the members" → "that sees the members" ✅
 * Target Japanese to Japanese language ✅
 * Kami Kaoru being responsible for the adaptation needs to be mentioned in the body so it is properly sourced for here ✅
 * "in their first Japanese extended play in 2018, titled #Cookie Jar." → "on the group's first Japanese EP, #Cookie Jar (2018)." ✅
 * Maybe also mention about the Japanese version's single release? ✅
 * "from music critics who praised its hook" → "from music critics, who praised the hook" with the targets ✅
 * Remove the "summer anthem" and "earworm" parts, as they are not appropriate for the lead and only one is backed up by a single reviewer ✅
 * "It has since" → "The song has since" ✅
 * "eventually earned the group their first" → "eventually earned Red Velvet their first win in the" ✅
 * Remove the signature song part since that is not sourced ✅
 * A lot of the commercial info here feels like fluff; remove the 2.5 million downloads part, and the Gaon Digital Chart and 100,000 units sentences, as none of these are notable for the lead ✅
 * "to enter the Billboard charts in Philippines and Japan." → "to enter the Billboard charts in Japan and the Philippines." with the target ✅
 * "Billboard ranked the single as" → "Billboard ranked the song as" with the target, as this is about the magazine writing not charts ✅
 * Move the above sentence to being the one after the 2018 Korean Music Awards info ✅
 * Remove the "citing..." part, as that is not notable for the lead ✅
 * "Red Velvet has since performed "Red Flavor" in" → "Red Velvet has performed "Red Flavor" for" ✅
 * Spring is Coming should not be surrounded by speech marks ✅
 * Target chairman to Chairman and Vice Chairman of the Workers' Party of Korea ✅
 * Remove "cultural diplomacy" because that is not sourced, unlike the rest of the sentence which can be kept ✅
 * Remove wikilink on North Korea ✅
 * "Their appearance at" → "The group's appearance at" ✅
 * "in fifteen years since" → "in 15 years since" per MOS:NUM ✅
 * Write relevant info about the orchestra version at the end of this para ✅

Background and release
✅
 * The conclusion of the EP promotion is unsourced ✅
 * Add release year of the EP in brackets ✅
 * Target single to Single (music) ✅
 * "label project SM Station." → "label project SM Station in March 2017." ✅
 * "as a quarter" → "as a quartet" but this sentence is not properly sourced ✅
 * Add release year of the drama in brackets ✅
 * "Through news outlet and the label's" → "Through Star-News and SM Entertainment's" with the wikilink ✅
 * "the group was reported to release" → "they were reported to be releasing" ✅
 * "extended play and had" → "EP and had" but the "summer special" quote and EP info are both unsourced ✅
 * "It eventually became the group's" → "It eventually became Red Velvet's" ✅
 * Though it is mentioned as following on from the other EP, the "comeback" part is not properly sourced ✅
 * Mention the title of their second studio album and wikilink that ✅
 * "in later November." → "in later November 2017." but the third release is unsourced ✅
 * "The album title and the full tracklist which included "Red Flavor" was" → "The EP's title and its full tracklist, which included "Red Flavor", were" ✅
 * "On July 7," → "On July 7, 2017" but this sentence belongs in music video section rather than here ✅
 * The teaser is not mentioned by the source; try adding this from the official channel, or anything else to back it up ✅
 * Target SMTOWN to SM Town ✅
 * "along with the extended play." → "along with The Red Summer." ✅
 * The appropriate citations exist in the article for the last sentence of this section, but have not been invoked at this point; use ref names to do so ✅

Composition
✅
 * Retitle to Recording and composition ✅
 * Target distorted to Distortion (music) and chorus to Refrain on the audio sample text, plus it is not mentioned in the prose that the distorted line appears throughout ✅
 * "Daniel Caesar and Ludwig Lindell who had previously worked with several South Korean artists under the name 'Caesar & Loui'." → "Daniel Caesar and Ludwig Lindell under the name of Caesar & Loui, who had previously worked with several South Korean artists in this name." but the source does not mention they produced the song so add a ref that does ✅
 * Wikilink pre-chorus per MOS:LINK2SECT ✅
 * Target distorted to Distortion (music) ✅
 * "singing the lyrics "Red Flavor" featured in the song" it is sourced that this part was by Lindell, but not that he sang the specific line and mention this was in the intro and chorus per the source ✅
 * "which was written by" → "which were written by" plus mention Caeser and Lindell wrote it too ✅
 * The lyrics sentence should be after the comp info in the second para ✅
 * "focuses on the theme of" → "focus on the theme of" but none of this sentence is sourced; add the appropriate citation(s) ✅
 * "in a summer love while" → "in a summer love, while" ✅
 * Remove wikilink on fruits ✅
 * "characterized it as an electropop" → "characterized "Red Flavor" as an electropop" with the wikilink ✅
 * "which labeled the song" → "while labeling the song" but the source does not say that; it only mentions the song being one of the EP's five tracks ✅
 * "It was composed in the key of A major with" → "It is composed in the key of A major, with" with the target ✅
 * Target The 405 to The 405 (website) ✅
 * Mention the bassline per Izm ✅
 * Target groove to Groove (music) ✅
 * The parts of this sentence after the groove are not mentioned by The 405 writer ✅
 * To be specific, the lyrics sentence should be directly after the above one ✅
 * The remixes info belongs in the live performances section instead, as it is only marginally about the comp of them; merge with the info that is already in the latter section about them ✅
 * "were performed since then with the first remix" → "were performed, with the first one" ✅
 * "containing more tribal drums instead of the original percussive drum line in the chorus production." → "which contained tribal drums." ✅
 * "by the girl group during their 2017 live performance" → "by the girl group during their 2017 appearance" ✅
 * Where is it sourced they performed the other remix regularly since 2018? ✅
 * "at the group's first Japan showcase" → "at their first Japan showcase" ✅
 * "in the group's first Japanese release" → "on Red Velvet's first Japanese EP" but you need a source to clarify this ✅
 * Add release year of the EP in brackets, plus mention the single release at this point ✅

Commercial performance
✅
 * This should be the section directly below Accolades instead ✅
 * "quickly topped 7 Korean digital charts" → "quickly topped seven Korean digital charts" per MOS:NUM and remove iTunes since it is not sourced ✅
 * "giving the group their first Gaon Digital Chart number one title since" → "giving Red Velvet their first number one on the chart since" ✅
 * "scoring the group's best selling record" → "scoring their best selling record" ✅
 * The four consecutive weeks part is not sourced and I can't translate the images so I will check with you: is the rest of the sentence backed up? ✅
 * "at number twenty on the 2017's" → "at number 20 on 2017's" ✅
 * None of the above sentence is sourced but I am sure you can add the appropriate citations ✅
 * The top-five entry part is not sourced; cite the chart history from the table using a refname to back this up ✅
 * "has had over 100 million streams, making it the group's second song" → "has accumulated over 100 million streams, making it Red Velvet's second song" ✅
 * Add release year of "Russian Roulette" in brackets ✅
 * "It appeared again as" → "The former appeared again as" ✅
 * "single on the 2018's" → "single on 2018's" ✅
 * "at number twenty-six," → "at number 26." and remove the rest because listing out all of them after "including" is awkward ✅
 * Remove target on Billboard ✅
 * Target World Digital Songs to World Digital Song Sales ✅
 * "making it their third song" → "making it Red Velvet's third song" ✅
 * Again, cite the chart history from the table because the previous positions are unsourced ✅
 * Target to Billboard Japan Hot 100 should be on Billboard Japan Hot 100 instead ✅
 * "their first entry (and currently their highest peak) on" → "the group's first entry and their highest peak to date on" ✅
 * Chart histories should be cited in the above sentence per World Digital Songs comment ✅

Live performances
✅
 * This should be the section directly below Music video instead ✅
 * Add the citation for the song's digital release date because you have not mentioned that for sections
 * "by the group for" → "by Red Velvet for" ✅
 * Remove the consideration part since that is unsourced ✅
 * "after its release on July 9," → "after the release on July 9, 2017" ✅
 * "on Inkigayo where they" → "on Inkigayo, where they" ✅
 * "Music Bank and Show Champion where they earned their first music show trophy" → "Music Bank, and Show Champion, on which they earned their first music show trophies" or reword to referencing which one the first trophy was on if this is the case; I can't view the source ✅
 * "first solo concert Red Room" → "first solo concert tour Red Room" but this sentence is unsourced ✅
 * "and later during the" → "and later being performed during the" ✅
 * Remove target on SMTOWN Live World Tour, plus the tour is not sourced ✅
 * "the group performed the Hitchhiker remix" → "they performed the Hitchhiker remix" but I may have further comments when this and the following sentence are merged with the ones being moved from comp ✅
 * "They continued to perform" → "Red Velvet continued to perform" but again, the song being performed continuously is not mentioned by the source ✅
 * Spring is Coming should not be in speech marks, plus the sources do not mention the concert name and you should mention the date of it ✅
 * "SM Entertainment in fifteen years" → "SM Entertainment in 15 years" per MOS:NUM ✅

Critical reception and recognition
✅
 * "has received positive reviews from music critics." → "was met with positive reviews from music critics." with the target ✅
 * Remove target on Billboard ✅
 * "Jeff Benjamin of Fuse magazine described" → "Jeff Benjamin of Fuse described" ✅
 * "melody" which he describes as" → "melody", which he pointed to as" ✅
 * "Chase McMullen of The 405 website complimented the song" → "McMullen complimented the song" ✅
 * "pop glide" while" → "pop glide", while" ✅
 * "magazine reacted positively to the unity of the group, which was presented throughout the whole song in a review for its parental extended play." → "magazine, in a review of the EP, reacted positively to the unity of the group that is presented throughout the whole song." ✅
 * "labelled it as an" → "labelled the song as an" ✅
 * Dazed Digital → Dazed ✅
 * "commented that it" → "commented that the song" ✅
 * "stating that "It's complex" → "stating: "It's complex" ✅
 * "of its greatness"." → "of its greatness."" because this is a full sentence quoted ✅
 * Remove wikilink on IZM ✅
 * Wikilink GQ to itself ✅
 * "selected it as one of their" → "selected it as among their" ✅
 * "calling its hook" → "as well as calling its hook" ✅
 * Dazed Digital should be identified as Dazed again, but no wikilink this time (apart from the table instance) ✅
 * "at number 2" → "at number two" per MOS:NUM ✅
 * Both of the music video rankings should be in the section of the same name instead ✅
 * Billboard should be italicised with no target ✅
 * "at number 4," → "at number four," ✅
 * "summer romance" which are" → "summer romance", which are" ✅
 * The other decade-end list should be written out in prose here, as two is not enough to warrant a table ✅
 * Critic/Publication → Publication ✅
 * Add the GQ Korea and Osen rankings to the table ✅

Accolades
✅
 * Remove due to part, as that is unsourced ✅
 * "but lost to fellow labelmate" → "but lost to labelmate" ✅
 * "won the Best Digital Song" → "won in the Best Digital Song" ✅
 * The second win in the category is not sourced ✅
 * "also earned the group" → "also earned Red Velvet" but the later bit about credibility is unsourced ✅
 * Wikilink 2017 Mnet Asian Music Awards instead ✅
 * Target Twice to Twice (group) ✅
 * Target "Signal" to Signal (Twice song) ✅

Awards

 * This should not be its own sub-section, as there is only one para of text above ✅

Music video
✅
 * The past involvement of Kyle Hanagami with the group is not sourced, nor is Seong Chang-won's director role ✅
 * The "dancing in an outdoor setting and at an in-house party" part is unsourced ✅
 * Interviews with the fruit are unsourced, as is the usage of sign language ✅
 * You could do with mentioning drink references and cheerleading type movements ✅
 * Remove introduction to Joy, as we already know who he is ✅
 * "the song's title, lyrics, melody, rhythm," → "a lot for the song, including its lyrics, melody, rhythm," ✅
 * "It was released on" → "The visual was released on" but you need to add a source for this
 * The awards that I requested to be moved here should come after the synopsis ✅

Credits and personnel
✅
 * Add this section here, where you can also include the studio; see "Welcome to Heartbreak" for example ✅

Charts
✅

Weekly charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION; revert your edit, I suggest ✅
 * Target Philippine Hot 100 to Billboard Philippines ✅

Monthly charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION; revert ✅your edit, I suggest ✅

Year-end charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION ✅
 * You should not capitalise the word year in the captions, once they have been re-added ✅

Sales
✅
 * Remove this, as it is only one country and there are no certifications ✅

Release history
✅
 * Format → Format(s) ✅
 * Label → Label(s) ✅
 * The various release is not backed up by [68]; that not only leads to Tidal which is streaming only, but it is the EP page ✅

Orchestra version
✅
 * Only Orchestra is a sourced genre, so remove the others ✅
 * Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox song ✅
 * Wikilink orchestra ✅

Credits and personnel

 * Wikilink Yoo Young-jin ✅
 * Use instead ✅
 * Wikilink Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra ✅

Release history

 * Format → Format(s) ✅
 * Label → Label(s) ✅
 * Same issue as before with Tidal as a source for [73] ✅

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; this is definitely an improvement from your previous work, but the article is still quite messy... good luck! --K. Peake 14:36, 19 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Very good to see you have started to resolve the issues already, but there are a few marked as done that you have still missed – wikilink lead single to itself in the lead, target Billboard Japan Hot 100 to the article of the same name, change "won the Best Digital Song" to "won in the Best Digital Song", wikilink 2017 Mnet Asian Music Awards, give Twice the target to Twice (group) and use . Also, regarding the year-end charts, you need to split the two years into separate tables to avoid confusion. --K. Peake 07:16, 20 February 2021 (UTC) ✅
 * I did understand what you've gone through while reviewing this article. I've finished everything from the comments. (*I think and I'm not sure) :) Thank you so much once again! Hope to see a new response soon regarding additional and minor edits from the article or your comments regarding anything. :) User:LipaCityPH (talk) 15:42, 24 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Sorry about the late response; your mention did not come up in my notifications for some reason. Hard work from you on this; I will take a look later on to check everything has been covered! --K. Peake 09:18, 26 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Regarding infobox and lead plus background and release; hlist should not still be used for languages in the infobox, the studio is not properly listed in personnel like I suggested, remove the target from relationship to love, it is still unsourced that they concluded promotion for the EP in February. As for recording and composition plus commercial performance, the distortion line being featured throughout is still not sourced, you have not properly mentioned the part Lindell sings on the intro and chorus, also what I brought up about citing Japan Hot 100 from the table meant using the template; see "Gangnam Style" for example. These are my first comments, more soon. Moving on, the citation for digital release has not been invoked at the requested point in the live performances section, the tour appears to be not sourced, add a source mentioning the release date of the music video, Philippines Hot 100 should be in the brackets and targeted to Billboard Philippines instead of what is currently in the chart table, ref 20 is a duplicate of ref 13 so should be replaced by using the refname, and fix the formatting of ref 79's accessdate for consistency., other than these issues, you have done a great job at responding to this review and I congratulate the hard work put into improving this article so much!!! --K. Peake 13:40, 26 February 2021 (UTC)
 * , thank you so much for the message and congratulating me as well. I'm grateful and it is nice to work with together in making this article part of good article. :) I have a question, I can not get what you mean in ("also what I brought up about citing Japan Hot 100 from the table meant using the template; see "Gangnam Style" for example.") Please enlighten me and sorry for the inconvenience. I'm almost done regarding your concerns but I cannot finish because I can't understand that task. Sorry. :) LipaCityPH 14:51, 26 February 2021 (UTC)
 * I was referring to using the template for the Japan Hot 100 that article utilizes; I have added this in for you though, as it is only one change and would be a shame for this article not to be passed until tomorrow due to the time it currently is in your country of the Philippines. ✅ now literally one week after placing this onhold, interestingly enough; I really do appreciate how hard you have worked on this, especially having to source so much material!!! --K. Peake 17:16, 26 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much! ^-^ It was a great opportunity working with you once again! :) Thank you for everything and of course I did it because of the comments and the help you gave. Thank you once again! :) --LipaCityPH 12:22, 27 February 2021 (UTC)