Talk:Revolt of the Lash/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Nick-D (talk · contribs) 01:10, 25 November 2016 (UTC)

Comments
I'll post a review of this interesting-looking article over the next few days. Nick-D (talk) 01:10, 25 November 2016 (UTC)

This article is in excellent shape. I have the following comments:
 * Is note 'B' necessary?
 * I think it is; there were a few details that I left out, as that level of nuance didn't seem appropriate for the lead. Am happy to reconsider if you think it's a bad idea.
 * As the text links to the article and it's fairly clear that it's a simplified version, I think that it should be omitted: it looks a bit like a comment, and detracts from the article. Nick-D (talk) 10:21, 5 December 2016 (UTC)
 * Good argument—I've removed the note! Ed [talk] [majestic titan] 05:35, 7 December 2016 (UTC)
 * "These officers were fond of inflicting corporal punishment" - is "fond" the right word here? It makes it sound like the officers enjoyed this. "Frequently inflicted" perhaps?
 * Fixed.
 * "forty-five percent of its authorized personnel (in 1896) " - this is then repeated in the same para
 * Fixed.
 * Can more be said about what the planning ahead of the mutiny involved? - it's stated that the mutiny was planned well in advance, but not much further detail is currently provided
 * Added, although the diff is hard to read.
 * Looks good Nick-D (talk) 10:21, 5 December 2016 (UTC)
 * Do any of the sources discuss how the skills of the crews of the ships improved, and what this meant for the individuals' self-respect and attitudes? There seems to be a story here about the modernisation of the navy leading to the transformation of the crew from a lowly-skilled labouring underclass into what were essentially skilled workers which could be more fully fleshed out.
 * I strongly suspect that info is in A marinha brasileira na era dos encouraçados, 1895–1910, as 'technological advances without accompanying social change' is basically Martins' thesis in six words. However, I don't speak Portuguese (the info in this article was related by a Brazilian editor), so for now, I won't be able to act on this.
 * OK Nick-D (talk) 10:21, 5 December 2016 (UTC)
 * On that topic, as a suggestion for the further development of the article, it might be worth looking through the literature on labour relations for material on this topic.
 * Thanks for the idea! The revolt is surprisingly not well covered in non-naval contexts, but I'm wondering if I'm just not Googling correctly. Have any ideas?
 * Not beyond trawling JSTOR and similar academic databases. Nick-D (talk) 10:21, 5 December 2016 (UTC)
 * Yeah, there's sadly much not there on this directly. Would love to make comparisons, but that'd have to be off-wiki. :-) `Ed [talk] [majestic titan] 05:35, 7 December 2016 (UTC)
 * "A significant percentage" - could you say "around half" given the numbers discussed in note G? I'd also suggest bringing the content of this note into the body of the article given its importance.
 * Added the 1,500–2,000 out of 4,000 figure.
 * "Unfortunately" - seems like editorialising, and isn't necessary
 * Good call, I meant to say "unfortunately for the government" or something similar, but I've just removed it.
 * File:Rui barbosa.jpg probably needs to be tagged with or similar
 * Done!
 * File:JCandido.JPG needs to be tagged with
 * Done as well.
 * Could the process by which the Navy was re-manned be discussed? Did the new sailors enjoy the improved conditions the mutineers had won, or were these pulled back? Nick-D (talk) 05:05, 27 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Is there anything which can be added on this suggestion? Nick-D (talk) 10:21, 5 December 2016 (UTC)
 * {[ping|Nick-D}} My apologies for missing this. Neither Love nor Morgan, the two major sources here, directly address that (which for Morgan actually surprises me, given his thesis). I've added what I can. Ed [talk] [majestic titan] 05:35, 7 December 2016 (UTC)
 * ... I screwed up the ping above. :-) Ed [talk] [majestic titan] 18:24, 24 December 2016 (UTC)
 * Sorry I missed this: I'm very pleased to pass this review. And Merry Christmas! Nick-D (talk) 06:25, 25 December 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review, . I've left replies interspersed above and will get to the rest shortly. Ed [talk] [majestic titan] 02:47, 5 December 2016 (UTC)
 * , I've finished responding to your points. Ed [talk] [majestic titan] 06:42, 5 December 2016 (UTC)

Assessment
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it well written?
 * A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
 * B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
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 * C. It contains no original research:
 * D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
 * B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail: