Talk:Rhys Lawson

comments on the article
Just some thoughts while reading this - Peripitus (Talk) 10:36, 18 May 2012 (UTC)
 * "He believes Erinsborough is a bit of a backwater and sees himself more as a city guy" in the lead is virtually a direct copy of the quote later - it must be paraphrased or put into quotes again here.
 * Done.
 * "he received the part of Rhys" - surely he won the part, or was awarded the part, or was cast as ?
 * Done.
 * Source which explains a lot about why Rhys is the way he is, article would explain a lot more about why Rhys is the way he is - in this, and some other places, there is text taken from the referenced quote without much rephrasing at all but not placed in quotes. It either needs to be rewritten in original words or presented as a quotation.
 * In the storylines section there are a very large number of sentences that start "Rhys does x". They read as a dot-point list. This section needs work to turn it into prose.
 * Hopefully done.
 * Thank you for your comments. - JuneGloom    Talk  13:43, 18 May 2012 (UTC)