Talk:Robert Montgomery (physician)

Some Proposed Changes
Information to be added: Early Life of Dr. Montgomery Montgomery was born on January 22, 1960 in Buffalo, New York, the son of a mechanical engineer, Lawrence P. Montgomery, Jr and Marjorie W. Montgomery who was a biologist. His family moved from Buffalo to a suburb of Philadelphia when he was 8 years old. The fourth of 4 male siblings, he decided to pursue a career in medicine after the long illness and death of his father from familial cardiomyopathy at age 52.

Education of Dr. Montgomery Montgomery attended Abington High School in Abington PA. In 1978, he went to college at St. Lawrence University, a small Liberal Arts school in upstate New York. He was admitted as the Laurentian Scholar. He graduated Magna Cum Lauda with honors in Biology and Phi Beta Kappa. Upon graduation, he received the Thomas J. Watson Fellowship to travel throughout Africa and study Traditional African Medicine. When he returned from Africa, he matriculated at the University of Rochester School of Medicine where he was inducted into the Alpha Omega Alpha Medical Honor Society and received his MD with honors in 1987. As a Fulbright Scholar, he went to Baliol College, The University of Oxford, where he completed his DPhil (PhD) in Molecular Immunology in 1994.

Explanation of Issue: These edits would more accurately reflect Dr. Montgomery's background and expand upon his pre-career life.

References Supporting Changes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiD3xYuPMog&feature=youtu.be https://nyulangone.org/doctors/1467404137/robert-montgomery

Ghavindeonarain (talk) 15:29, 29 November 2018 (UTC)

Reply 29-NOV-2018
Your edit request could not be reviewed for two reasons:
 * 1) One of the references used, YouTube, is generally unacceptable for use in Wikipedia in referencing items which are not Audio/Video media.
 * 2) It is unclear which references are connected to which claim statements in the text of your proposal. When proposing edit requests, it is important to highlight in the text which specific sources are doing the referencing for each claim. The point of an inline citation is to allow the reviewer and readers to check that the material is sourced; that point is lost if the citation's note number is not clearly placed. Note the example below:

 The Sun's diameter is 864,337.3 miles, while the Moon's diameter is 2,159 miles. The Sun's temperature is 5,778 degrees Kelvin.

References

1. Sjöblad, Tristan. The Sun. Academic Press, 2018, p. 1. 2. Duvalier, Gabrielle. "Size of the Moon", Scientific American, 51(78):46. 3. Uemura, Shū. The Sun's Heat. Academic Press, 2018, p. 2.

In the example above there are three references provided, but the claim statements do not indicate which reference applies where. Your edit request similarly does not specify where the references you have provided are to be placed. These links between material and their source references must be more clearly made, as shown in the next example below:

✅ The Sun's diameter is 864,337.3 miles,[1] while the Moon's diameter is 2,159 miles.[2] The Sun's temperature is 5,778 degrees Kelvin.[3]

References

^ Sjöblad, Tristan. The Sun. Academic Press, 2018, p. 1. ^ Duvalier, Gabrielle. "Size of the Moon", Scientific American, 51(78):46. ^ Uemura, Shū. The Sun's Heat. Academic Press, 2018, p. 2. 

In the example above, the links between the provided references and their claim statements are perfectly clear. Kindly reformulate your edit request so that it aligns more with the second example above, taking care to submit references which originate from reliable primary and secondary sources. Feel free to re-submit that edit request at your earliest convenience. Regards,  Spintendo   19:30, 29 November 2018 (UTC)

Proposed Edits
My apologies, here is an updated revision.

Information to be added: Early Life of Dr. Montgomery Montgomery was born on January 22, 1960 in Buffalo, New York, the son of a mechanical engineer, Lawrence P. Montgomery, Jr and Marjorie W. Montgomery who was a biologist. His family moved from Buffalo to a suburb of Philadelphia when he was 8 years old. The fourth of 4 male siblings, he decided to pursue a career in medicine after the long illness and death of his father from familial cardiomyopathy at age 52.

Education of Dr. Montgomery Montgomery attended Abington High School in Abington PA. In 1978, he went to college at St. Lawrence University, a small Liberal Arts school in upstate New York. He was admitted as the Laurentian Scholar. He graduated Magna Cum Lauda with honors in Biology and Phi Beta Kappa. Upon graduation, he received the Thomas J. Watson Fellowship to travel throughout Africa and study Traditional African Medicine. When he returned from Africa, he matriculated at the University of Rochester School of Medicine where he was inducted into the Alpha Omega Alpha Medical Honor Society and received his MD with honors in 1987. As a Fulbright Scholar, he went to Baliol College, The University of Oxford, where he completed his DPhil (PhD) in Molecular Immunology in 1994.

Explanation of Issue: These edits would more accurately reflect Dr. Montgomery's background and expand upon his pre-career life.

References Supporting Changes: 1. CUNY TV, CUNYTV, 2018, www.cuny.tv/show/buildingny/PR2007015. 2. “Robert Montgomery.” Patient Care at NYU Langone Health, nyulangone.org/doctors/1467404137/robert-montgomery.

Would that suffice? Ghavindeonarain (talk) 21:58, 29 November 2018 (UTC)

Ghavindeonarain (talk) 15:29, 29 November 2018 (UTC)

some proposed changes
Information to Be Added: Career Dr. Montgomery received his general surgical training at The Johns Hopkins Hospital from 1987 to 1995, including his years at Oxford. He did a post-doctoral fellowship at Johns Hopkins in Human Genetics between 1995-1997. He then finished his clinical training in Multi-Organ Transplantation at Johns Hopkins from 1997-1999 after which he joined the clinical staff as an Assistant Professor of Surgery. He rose through the academic ranks at Johns Hopkins and became a full Professor in 2009. He was the inaugural recipient of the Margery K. and Thomas Pozefsky Professorship in Kidney Transplantation, Chief, Division of Transplantation, and Director of The Comprehensive Transplant Center at The Johns Hopkins Hospital from 2003 to 2016. It was during these years that he created the world’s first incompatible kidney transplant program. In 2016 after 29 years at Johns Hopkins, he accepted a position as the inaugural Director of the NYU Langone Transplant Institute in New York. There he expanded kidney and liver transplantation and helped build new programs in heart, lung, pancreas and bone marrow transplantation.

Explanation of Issue: Greater detail about Dr. Montgomery's credentials

Ghavindeonarain (talk) 23:24, 1 December 2018 (UTC)

Reply to edit request 01-DEC-2018
Below you will see where proposals from your request have been quoted with reviewer decisions and feedback inserted underneath, either accepting, declining or otherwise commenting upon your proposal(s). Please note that this review pertains only to the edit request proposal placed under the  template above. Please read the enclosed notes within the proposal review section below for information on each request.  Spintendo   03:02, 2 December 2018 (UTC)

Proposed Edits
As per citation issues in the previous version, here are sourced claims:

Dr. Montgomery received his general surgical training at The Johns Hopkins Hospital from 1987 to 1995, including his years at Oxford. He did a post-doctoral fellowship at Johns Hopkins in Human Genetics between 1995-1997. He then finished his clinical training in Multi-Organ Transplantation at Johns Hopkins from 1997-1999 after which he joined the clinical staff as an Assistant Professor of Surgery. He was the inaugural recipient of the Margery K. and Thomas Pozefsky Professorship in Kidney Transplantation, Chief of the Divison of Transplantation, and Director of The Comprehensive Transplant Center at The Johns Hopkins Hospital from 2003 to 2016. While there he expanded live donor renal transplantation, including the laparoscopic donor nephrectomy, positive crossmatch and ABO incompatible transplantation, paired kidney exchange and altruistic donor programs. In 2016 after 29 years at Johns Hopkins, he accepted a position as the inaugural Director of the NYU Langone Transplant Institute in New York. Under his tenure the transplant institute has expanded its programs to include liver, kidney, heart, bone marrow, lung and facial transplantation.

Explanation of issue: Added references for every portion of Dr. Montgomery's education

Ghavindeonarain (talk) 04:22, 3 December 2018 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes
Information to be added: 1.4	Clinical Contributions and Surgical Firsts

LEAD THE TEAM RESPONSIBLE FOR:

•	Conceived the Idea of the Domino Paired Donation for Kidneys •	Performed the First Chain of Transplants Started by an Altruistic Donor •	Demonstrated a Survival Advantage of Desensitization vs Dialysis •	First to Describe Combining Desensitization with Kidney Paired Donation •	Developed the Practice of Long Distance Live Donor Shipping of Kidneys •	First to Successfully Transplant Patients with Catastrophic Anti-Phospholipid Antibody Syndrome •	First to Use Complement Inhibition in Human Transplant Patients •	First to cross ABO incompatible and HLA incompatible barriers simultaneously •	Performed the First Multi-Way Donor Swaps Including: o	2-way domino paired donation o	3-way paired donation o	3-way domino paired donation o	5-way domino paired donation o	8-way multi-institutional domino paired donation o	10-way open chain

COLLABORATED IN MULTIDISCIPINARY TEAMS FOR THE FOLLOWING INNOVATIONS (including Lloyd Ratner, Dorry Segev, Sommer Gentry):

•	Laparoscopic Donor Nephrectomy •	Hopkins Desensitization Protocol •	First Description and Clinical Example of an Open Chain (NEAD) •	The Hopkins Kidney Tolerance Protocol •	First NOTES Procedure for Vaginal Extraction of Donor Kidney

Explanation: These list Dr. Montgomery's contributions to the field along with citations

— Preceding unsigned comment added by Ghavindeonarain (talk • contribs) 19:33, 3 December 2018 (UTC)

Reply 03-DEC-2018
Regards,  Spintendo   22:43, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
 * 1) For WP:NPOV purposes, we can't have the entire article become a list of things the doctor did first, best  or greatest according only to him and those he works with. If these items truly were the first, best or greatest, then others would have reported on them, and its those other sources from reliable secondary references that I'd like to hear from.
 * 2) I see a handful of them now (ref tags 12, 13, 15, 16, 18, 20, 21 and 22) but curiously these are all concentrated around one type of surgery: the multi-way domino paired donations. What isn't needed are more of the following:
 * 3) Their own research, as this is considered primary sources
 * 4) Interviews where the subject talks about these claims
 * 5) Blog-style notices / biography entries at workplaces where press release-type information is repeated.
 * 6) I've placed some search suggestions at the top of the talk page to assist in the search for additional sources.
 * 7) Please remember to sign all your posts.

Reply 04-DEC-2018
I have removed references from NYU Langone and Johns Hopkins that I can see as well as any statements that have become unsubstantiated by the removal of those references. However I have not removed those statements which relied upon scholarly journal articles, due to the fact that their publication in these sources requires independent and non-partisan review by the board of said journal, and therefore I feel they are inherently corroborated by their publication in those sources.

Ghavindeonarain (talk) 06:19, 4 December 2018 (UTC) Ghavindeonarain (talk) 06:10, 4 December 2018 (UTC)

I have noticed the changes and believe that your proposed edits are sufficient for posting. Please do refrain from utilizing a list format for the bulk of your proposed edits thank you. (Alexander Stonewall (talk) 23:57, 4 December 2018 (UTC))

Apologies I recently uploaded the proposed edit forgetting to sign. It would be encouraged that Wikipedia features a gentle reminder to sign each submitted post (Alexander Stonewall (talk) 00:45, 5 December 2018 (UTC))

Some proposed edits
Information to be added: Personal life Dr. Montgomery has two children from his previous wife, Elizabeth and John, as well as another son named Max. In 2009, he married opera super-star Denyce Graves. They met on an airplane flight from Washington to Paris in 2006. Ms. Graves had a 1-year old daughter, Ella Thomas Montgomery. They were married in three separate ceremonies: a family-only wedding in the National Cathedral Chapel in June 2009, a Traditional Masai Blessing in the Masai Mara Kenya in August 2009, and capped by five-day celebration that included events at an airplane hangar and a ceremony at the main altar of the Washington National Cathedral.

Explanation of Edits: expands upon Dr. Montgomery's personal life

Ghavindeonarain (talk) 05:23, 5 December 2018 (UTC)

Sources are legit and the proposed edits are satisfactory according to Wiki's guidelines. (Morgan Damien (talk) 03:32, 7 December 2018 (UTC))

Reply 05-DEC-2018
Regards,  Spintendo   07:29, 5 December 2018 (UTC)
 * 1) ✅ The number of children were added to the infobox.
 * 2) ❌ The subject's social media accounts are suggested as possibly the more appropriate places for the remaining minutiae, per WP:NOTSOCIALMEDIA.

Current Projects
===Some Proposed Edits=

Information to be Added: Recent Years Dr. Montgomery in recent years is working on desensitization, which readies a patient for receiving incompatible blood and tissue transplants. He is currently serving as the lead director for Regenevida, Recombinetic's regenerative medicine division.

Explanation: Further information on Dr. Montgomery's current work in transplant biology

Ghavindeonarain (talk) 07:02, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
 * If he's a widely recognized leader in this area, we would not need to cite a press release from a company that placed him on its advisory board. What independent references describe him as a leading authority on the subject? If none can be found, I'd leave it out. Larry Hockett (Talk) 07:08, 7 December 2018 (UTC)

Some Proposed Edits
Information to Be Added: Career

Dr. Montgomery led the team responsible for the idea of domino paired donation and performed the first chain of Transplants started by an altruistic donor. His work demonstrates the survival advantage of desensitization when compared to dialysis and describes combining desensitization with kidney paired donations. He has developed the practice of long distance live donor shipping for kidneys and has successfully transplanted patients with catastrophic anti-phospholipid antibody syndrome. He developed the technique of complement inhibition in human transplant patients and crossed ABO incompatible and HLA incompatible barriers simultaneously. He has performed multi-donor swaps including 2-way, 3-way  , and 5-way domino paired donations. He has also performed 3-way paired donations, an 8-way multi-institutional domino paired donation     and a 10-way open chain.

He has collaborated on teams which have performed laparoscopic donor nephrectomies. He also collaborated on the team which developed the Hopkins Desensitization Protocol. He was on the team which first described and provided a clinical example of an Open Chain (NEAD) and the team which performed the first NOTES procedure for the vaginal extraction of a donor Kidney He was also on the team responsible for the Hopkins Kidney Tolerance Protocol.

Explanation: Formatted to better fit Manual of Style

Bibliography Dr. Montgomery has 273 peer reviewed publications with 20,525 citations and an h-index of 76

Explanation: Demonstrates Dr. Montgomery's work Ghavindeonarain (talk) 05:53, 10 December 2018 (UTC)


 * It seems like you are still (inappropriately) basing the passages on things that Dr. Montgomery has written (rather than on things that other people have written about Montgomery or his work). Think about how you would feel if you were reading an encyclopedia entry about someone's great work - and then you found out that you were just reading the subject's opinions about themselves. This isn't so different. With an h-index that high, surely other people are writing about his work. Larry Hockett (Talk) 06:14, 10 December 2018 (UTC)

It seems like the sources are unbiased and don't compromise the legitimacy of the information presented. Maybe a few extra mentions of contributors would help (Morgan Damien (talk) 06:32, 11 December 2018 (UTC))