Talk:Roc Me Out/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Till I Go Home (talk · contribs) 02:35, 9 April 2012 (UTC)

I will review this article. Till I Go Home (talk) 02:35, 9 April 2012 (UTC)

Infobox

 * I don't think the reference is needed for "synthpop".
 * — Tomica   (talk)  10:30, 15 April 2012 (UTC)

Lead

 * The production was helmed by Stargate (Eriksen and Hermansen) and Knife Party (Swire and McGrillen). -> why helmed? Just produced is fine.
 * "Roc Me Out" is a synth-pop song that reminiscents of Rihanna's previous singles "Rude Boy" (Rated R, 2009) and "S&M" (Loud, 2010). -> "Reminiscents of"? That doesn't make sense. Just "reminiscents Rihanna's previous..."
 * Change "synth-pop to synthpop for consistency.
 * "Contagious hooks" -> contagious should be in quotation marks because you are describing what has been said about the hooks.
 * Lyrically, the song shows Rihanna sexually seducing her lover, while revealing her nasty secrets. -> I think this can be worded better. Shows should be replaced with another word because it isn't really "showing". "Nasty secrets" -> again, if quoted from a critic etc. needs quotation marks.
 * "music critics" -> wikilink to music journalism.
 * Contemporary music critics were divided on "Roc Me Out". Some of them labeled the song as a "highlight" on the album, however, others criticized its similarity with Rihanna's previous singles.
 * Use semi-colon between "Roc Me Out" and "some". Change "however" to "while".


 * — Tomica   (talk)  10:30, 15 April 2012 (UTC)

Background

 * Again, change "helmed"
 * Dean and Stargate collaborated on some of.. -> "Dean and Stargate have collaborated on some of..."
 * Get rid of "some of"
 * Eriksen and Miles Walker did the recording of the track. -> sounds childish, you can make it sound more sophisticated :)
 * All the instruments were provided by Eriksen and Hermansen. -> same as above
 * — Tomica   (talk)  10:30, 15 April 2012 (UTC)

Composition

 * "synth pop" -> synthpop
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Music critics noted similarities between the song and some previous singles by Rihanna -> remove "some"
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)
 * and Australian-British band Pendulum whose members Swire and McGrillen co-wrote and co-produced the song. -> comma needed bwtween "Pendulum" and "whose". This sentence should have a reference at the end
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)
 * A reviewer of Sputnikmusic -> reviewer from Sputnikmusic
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)
 * concluded that the song combines the edge sounds of "Rude Boy" and Wiz Khalifa's 2010 single "Black and Yellow" (Rolling Papers, 2011). -> "concluded" is coming to a conclusion. I read the source, and concluded should be changed with another word.
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Lyrically, the song shows Rihanna sexually seducing her love interest, while revealing her nasty secrets. -> same issue as in the lead
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)
 * her lover "to sex her up" -> 'her lover to "sex her up"'.
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)
 * In the end, Rihanna reveals the "dirtiest secret" through the line "I’ll let you in on a dirty little secret, I just want to be loved". David Amidon of PopMatters described the line as a "not exactly a dangerous sentiment". According to him "we ought to be so afraid of hearing women enjoy receiving oral sex, either." -> Hmm this needs work.
 * C/e it and removed the second part since its a Critical Reception actually. — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * Michael Jepson from The Fourth Estate concluded that "Roc Me Out" together with "Cockiness (Love It)" and "Do Ya Thang" are top candidates for being the album "highlights". -> Michael Jepson from The Fourth Estate concluded that "Roc Me Out", along with "Cockiness (Love It)" and "Do Ya Thang", are the top candidates of the album's "highlights".
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * He further continued that, "they are so blatantly raunchy and described them as a "follow up" to Rihanna's 2011 single 'S&M'". -> He explained that the songs are "so blatantly raunchy" and noted their similarities to Rihanna's 2011 single, 'S&M'.
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * According to him, "Roc Me Out" is one of the sexiest songs on the album and shocks the audience with its lyrics. -> Jepson also called "Roc Me Out" one of the "sexiest" songs on the album as it "shocks the audience" with its lyrics.
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * but "from Rihanna, it's like she's willfully withholding faith and throwing it back just to tantalize." -> but from Rihanna, "it's like she's willfully withholding faith and throwing it back just to tantalize."
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Giovanny Caquias of CultureBlues in a review of Talk That Talk, placed the song in a "slut-core quartet" alongside with "Cockiness (Love It)", "Birthday Cake" and "Watch n' Learn". -> In a review of Talk That Talk, Giovanny Caquias of CultureBlues placed the song in a "slut-core quartet" alongside "Cockiness (Love It)", "Birthday Cake" and "Watch n' Learn".
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * He further explained that "Roc Me Out" "is more developed than the others, but still much too mediocre to become Rihanna's twelfth number-one single." -> remove "further" since it's getting repetitive. Also put Giovanny Cqauias' review in the second paragraph since the first one is too big.
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Edward Keeble from Gigwise called "Roc Me Out a "vibrant track" and concluded that the co-production which was made by Rob Swire of Pendulum is "evident on all facets of it". -> remove "which was made" and replace "concluded" with stated or something.
 * Tuyet Nguyen of The A.V. Club criticized the song and described it as "almost laughable". -> change "and described" to "by describing"
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * However, he further explained that "Rihanna is a performer, not a songwriter. What she sings is less relevant than what she sells: a provocation that is enough to seem empowering, but not so radical that it’s alienating. -> could you paraphrase this? :)
 * Sorry but I will need some help here. The quoted sentence is actual alienating xD. That's why I didn't paraphrase it. — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Nvm I fixed it. Till I Go Home (talk) 06:34, 17 April 2012 (UTC)


 * In a review of the album, Maz Halima from Flavour Magazine negatively reviewed "Roc Me Out" stating that when she heard it, she was "a bit p*ssed off" because of its similar sound to Rihanna's single "Rude Boy". -> Maz Halima from Flavour Magazine was unfavorable of the song in her album review of Talk That Talk, stating that when she heard it, she was "a bit p*ssed off" because of its similar sound to Rihanna's single "Rude Boy".
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)

Track listing

 * Looks fine.

Credits and personnel

 * Fine.

Charts

 * "due to digital downloads" -> put a comma after this
 * — Tomica   (talk)  15:35, 16 April 2012 (UTC)

Overall

 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * You have 7 days to fix the problems :) Till I Go Home (talk) 14:43, 15 April 2012 (UTC)
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * You have 7 days to fix the problems :) Till I Go Home (talk) 14:43, 15 April 2012 (UTC)
 * You have 7 days to fix the problems :) Till I Go Home (talk) 14:43, 15 April 2012 (UTC)
 * You have 7 days to fix the problems :) Till I Go Home (talk) 14:43, 15 April 2012 (UTC)