Talk:Rocco Perri/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 22:12, 12 February 2021 (UTC)

I'll get to this within a couple of days! ♦ jaguar  22:12, 12 February 2021 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * ", in the early 20th century" - I think this is redundant. It's clear from his date of birth/death that he was a product of the early 20th century
 * "Perri was born in the Italian town of Platì in Calabria, and immigrated to the United States..." - might read better as Born in the Italian town of Platì in Calabria, Perri immigrated to the United States
 * "and served five months of a six month sentence in prison" - condense to prison sentence


 * Early life
 * "when the Ontario Temperance Act came into effect on 16 September 1916," - be consistent with dates, does this article use mdy format?
 * "Perri's job as a macaroni salesman required travel across Ontario" - should this be capitalised?


 * Criminal operations
 * "but the latter decided to allow that to continue with strings attached" - sounds a tad unencyclopaedic
 * " and may also have allowed Kerr to sell alcohol in a certain part of New York State" - link New York (state), or maybe Upstate New York


 * In popular culture
 * "was staged at Theatre Aquarius in Hamilton" - link Hamilton, Ontario

Sorry for the delay in getting to this as I've been busy with university stuff! I enjoyed reading this, it's always a pleasure to review mobsters of this time as I'm particularly interested in them. I'll leave this on hold until the above are clarified. Once those minor things are out of the way I'll be happy to promote this. ♦ jaguar  00:30, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks - all of the above was amended with the exception of macaroni because it's pretty much just a general name for a type of pasta. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 00:51, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Oh of course - must be the fatigue setting in. Thanks Vaseline, let's get this one dusted. ♦  jaguar  01:13, 17 February 2021 (UTC)