Talk:Rocketeer (song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 09:57, 23 July 2020 (UTC)

So we met again, will review this soon but it might be in separate stages --Kyle Peake (talk) 09:57, 23 July 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Are you sure the first section doesn't source 2010 as a recording year for the infobox?
 * I can see that. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:21, 24 July 2020 (UTC)

You don't mention the word "studios". MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:21, 24 July 2020 (UTC) ❌ it sounds like they dubbed it a pop-rap song. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:21, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Name the studio as Short Bus Studios (North Hollywood)
 * Remove venue parameter as that is for live recordings
 * Target Cherrytree to Martin Kierszenbaum
 * "hip hop and electronic music group Far East Movement from their third studio album" → "hip hop and electronic music group Far East Movement from their third studio album," with the appropriate target and wikilink
 * "featuring vocals by American singer-songwriter" → "The song features vocals by American singer-songwriter" as a new sentence
 * "released as the second single from the album" → "released in the United States as the second single from the album" with the target
 * Target Cherrytree to Martin Kierszenbaum
 * "According to the group, the song regards" → "The pop-rap song, according to the group, regards"
 * Shouldn't a mention of the genre be offered somewhere in the lead though? --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:34, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Added. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:36, 24 July 2020 (UTC)

❌ sounds even worst. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:21, 24 July 2020 (UTC) ❌ every article starts like this, why should this one be different? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:21, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * "cited the song was inspired" → "cited the song as having been inspired"
 * ""Rocketeer" has received" → "Since being released, the song has received"
 * I lacked awareness of this; I thought it was supposed to be the order I suggested, since some reviews were retrospective. --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:33, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Only one is and its about the demo. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:36, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Oh that's fine then sorry, should it be "has received" or just "received"? --Kyle Peake (talk) 17:06, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * It's fine, just "received" will do. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:57, 24 July 2020 (UTC)

❌. It states "comparable numbers should be both written in words or both in figures." MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:21, 24 July 2020 (UTC) ❌ sounds terrible. ❌ you perform in various shows, in those venues... not for various shows or venues, unless the venue is the audience. ✅
 * "called the song one of the highlights of the album," → "called it one of the highlights of Free Wired,"
 * "resembled the one in" → "resembled those of"
 * "copied from "Somebody to Love", however" → "copied from the track. However,"
 * "In the United States," → "In the US,"
 * "on the Billboard Hot 100 and on the Mainstream Top 40." → "on the Billboard Hot 100 and Mainstream Top 40 charts, respectively."
 * "The track also peaked at number six at" → "It also peaked at number six on"
 * "and number nine on the" → "and number nine on"
 * "It entered at its peak of number four on the UK R&B Chart, number 14" → "The song entered at its peak of number 14" since R&B chart is not notable for lead
 * "at number four in New Zealand, ten on" → "at number 4 in New Zealand, number 10 on the" per MOS:NUM on comparative values
 * "shot the song's music video." → "shot the accompanying music video."
 * "as the girl has to leave" → "since the girl has to leave"
 * "At the end of the video," → "For the conclusion,"
 * "sparks behind him."" → "sparks behind him"." for consistency
 * "short film, called" → "short film, titled"
 * "was also shot in a dedication" → "was also released in a dedication"
 * "new version of the song." → "new version of "Rocketeer"."
 * "the song live in various shows," → "the song live for various shows in 2011,"
 * "Conan and the 2011 Billboard Music Awards." → "Conan, and the Billboard Music Awards."

Background

 * Retitle to Background and development
 * "recorded with Bruno Mars' vocals," → "recorded with vocals from Bruno Mars,"
 * "voals on the final version, which was" → "vocals on the final version, with the version ultimately being"
 * "on the Far East Movement album, Free Wired (2010)." → "on Free Wired in October 2010."
 * If I just state the album, no one will know to who it belongs. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:59, 23 July 2020 (UTC)


 * Target leaked to Internet leak
 * Wikilink lead single to itself
 * Target dance to Dance music
 * "different, to show their" → "different for showing their"
 * "was a departure from their" → "marked a departure from Far East Movement's"
 * "Kevin Nishimura, one" → "Kev Nish, one"
 * Not his real name. That's just abrreviation and as first instance that his name is used, so it should be in full name. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:59, 23 July 2020 (UTC)
 * You should be mentioning him by his stage name. --Kyle Peake (talk) 20:55, 23 July 2020 (UTC)


 * Target hip hop to Hip hop music
 * Target electronic to Electronic music
 * Target alternative ROCK to alternative rock; I think that is appropriate from the quote?
 * Wikilink tempo to itself
 * Add [sic] where it is appropriate
 * "the one you love."" → "the one you love"."
 * Target Downtown LA to Downtown Los Angeles
 * Did everything but the [sic] one, I will need help on that one. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:59, 23 July 2020 (UTC)
 * "the tempo and fuse a slower paced hip hop track" clearly has grammatical error; put [sic] in the appropriate place --Kyle Peake (talk) 20:55, 23 July 2020 (UTC)

✅

Production and release
❌ That's not how they are credited on the liner notes. ❌ they have updated the sources to include streaming. In 2011, they were barely streaming offers
 * Identify the members by their stage names instead
 * Remove wikilink on Far East Movement
 * "and by Bruno Mars" → "as well as by Bruno Mars"
 * Remove second wikilink on The Smeezingtons
 * Target North Hollywood to North Hollywood, Los Angeles
 * "mixed "Rocketeer" with Giancarlo Lino" → "mixed "Rocketeer", with Giancarlo Lino"
 * Target Cherrytree Records to Martin Kierszenbaum
 * "the song, as the second single, on" → "the song as the second single from the album on" with the target
 * Should it mentioned as streaming too since citing the Amazon website indicates that release as well? Same for the other digital downloads.
 * After the first download release, maybe mention the song was released as the third track of Free Wired on October 12?
 * "Contemporary hit radio and rhythmic contemporary stations" → "contemporary hit and rhythmic contemporary radio stations"
 * "onto their playlists on" → "to their playlists on"
 * "being released under the latter labels." → "with the song being released through the record labels."
 * "was also released in various countries" → "was released in various countries"
 * I'm confused, how was it released for download before being premiered?
 * Ok, you need a bit of backgound and look at the sources. A couple of years ago, labels would release the songs in UK later than the rest of the world as they could "accumulate" downloads there and have a sort of "frontloaded single", reaching number one easily. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:59, 24 July 2020 (UTC)

✅
 * "as a digital download under the same labels" → "for digital download by Cherrytree and Interscope"
 * "On March 11, 2010, a CD single" → "On March 11, 2011, a CD single" with the wikilink
 * Remove wikilink on Frankmusik
 * "by Cherrytree and Interscope Records." → "by the aforementioned labels."
 * "On March 22, 2011 an EP" → "On March 22 of that year, an EP"
 * "different remixes was released in the United States by" → "different remixes of the song was released in the US through"
 * Have provided fixes that involve keeping the referencing of labels to avoid having to rewrite proposed changes potentially, but do they really need to be referenced every release sentence?

Composition
❌ That is not a requiement for GA status.
 * Audio sample is missing timedtext
 * Yeah that's true, this was a suggestion but isn't a 100% requirement. --Kyle Peake (talk) 17:06, 24 July 2020 (UTC)

❌ they are in the text the exact same way "Tedder's falseto vocals on the "lovely" and "hummable" chorus". Thefore there is no need for it.
 * Target chorus to Refrain on the audio sample's main text
 * Add citation(s) to back up the text
 * Aren't citations supposed to be added on audio sample text even if it is backed up in prose? --Kyle Peake (talk) 17:06, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * If it is a long quotation, example give a "30 seconds sample that shows "the lovely, humble and perfect verses of the song" [source]. I just used two words. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:29, 24 July 2020 (UTC)

❌ they have the sheet music, its the same. ❌ Rocketeer was first. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:14, 24 July 2020 (UTC) ✅
 * Target ballad to Sentimental ballad
 * Wikilink pop-rap to itself
 * "as a slow tempo, evolving" → "at a slow tempo, evolving"
 * "upbeat outlook."[20][6]" → "upbeat outlook".[6][20]"
 * "According to the sheet music," → "According to Musicnotes.com,"
 * Remove wikilink on tempo
 * "spans from D4 to D6" → "spans from D5 to D6"
 * "of "Rockteer" have been" → "of the track have been"
 * [22][2][23] should be put in numerical order
 * "from "Somebody to Love", however both songs" → "from the song; however, both songs"
 * "with the former being" → "with "Somebody to Love" being"
 * [11][17][6] put in numerical order
 * [22][2] ditto
 * "Tedder's falseto vocals on the" → "Tedder's falsetto vocals on the" with the wikilink
 * "chorus have been noticed, and were described" → "chorus were noted by writers, being described" with the target
 * "" oh-so-charming"." → ""oh-so-charming"."
 * "This allowed him to come up with a" → "The falsetto allowed him to come up with"
 * "imagery", on the verses" → "imagery" in the lyrics," with the wikilink
 * [20][18][23] put in numerical order
 * "Far East Movement verses contain references" → "Far East Movement's verses contain references"
 * ""rhyming "Super Mario" with "Cardio" and "Geronimo"."" → ""rhyming Super Mario with 'Cardio' and 'Geronimo'"." with the wikilink and target
 * "Lyrically, "Rocketeer" theme" → "Lyrically, the theme of "Rocketeer" is intended to"

Reception
❌It has an award from ASCAP. You even mentioned it here. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:33, 23 July 2020 (UTC) ❌ Articles you reviewed have it the former way, there is no need to change. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:33, 23 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Retitle to Critical reception since this is only reviews; commercial information has its own section~
 * "has received generally positive reviews" → "has been met with generally positive reviews"
 * "four stars out of five. Levine noticed" → "four stars out of five, with him noticing"
 * "and the chorus by Mars on B.o.B's" → "and the chorus by Bruno Mars on B.o.B.'s"
 * I already introduced Bruno Mars in the first section. Otherwise I wouldn't do the same for the music reviewers.
 * Bruno Mars is not his real name; I could understand you if he was the main subject of the article or two sentences in a row mentioned him, but neither is the case here. Understand me? --Kyle Peake (talk) 17:06, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * The fact of nor being his first real name its not a valid argument here or anywhere. I can see where you are coming from on the second portion of your affirmation. I fixed that, however it is already below in three setences in a row in the same section...I mean how many Mars are cited in this article? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:00, 24 July 2020 (UTC)

❌ Same as previous. ❌ She is talking about the demo. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:33, 23 July 2020 (UTC) ❌ Same as previous.
 * "David Jeffries of AllMusic shared the latter's" → "Jeffries shared Weeks'"
 * "Complex affirmed that" → "The staff of Complex affirmed that" with the target
 * "of many teenage girls."" → "of many teenage girls"."
 * "Anthony Osei writing for the same magazine called" → "Anthony Osei, writing for the same website, called"
 * "unique meaning to each listener."" → "unique meaning to each listener"."
 * "Dallas Observer 's Sharyar Rivzi affirmed he was" → "Sharyar Rivzi from the Dallas Observer was"
 * "out its "tame" sound" → "out the "tame" sound"
 * "piano chords" and, Tedder's vocals" → "piano chords" and Tedder's vocals"
 * Mention/reference what the review said about his vocals
 * "Lyrically wise he found it to" → "Lyrically wise, Rivzi found the track to"
 * "and hollow" and a" → "and hollow", and a"
 * "criticized Mars' songwriting" → "criticized Bruno Mars' songwriting"
 * "Idolator's Robbie Daw said the song" → "Daw said the song"
 * "said it" → "said the song" to specify it's not the demo
 * "a ton of emotion."" → "a ton of emotion"."
 * "considered it to be Mars'" → "considered it to be Bruno Mars'"
 * "At the 2012 ASCAP Pop Music Awards "Rocketeer"" → "At the 2012 ASCAP Pop Music Awards, "Rocketeer""
 * Everything else was ✅. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:33, 23 July 2020 (UTC)

Commercial performance
see above. ✅
 * "In the United States, "Rocketeer" spent 20 weeks on the chart and peaked at number seven on the Billboard Hot 100, on February 19, 2011." → ""Rocketeer" peaked at number seven on the US Billboard Hot 100 for the issue date of February 19, 2011, and spent 20 weeks on the chart."
 * "It reached its highest peak" → "The song reached its highest peak"
 * "at number six, spending" → "chart at number six, also spending"
 * "The track also entered on the" → "The track further debuted on the"
 * "and Hot Rap Songs, peaking" → "and Hot Rap Songs charts, peaking"
 * "and at number 14" → "chart and at number 14"
 * "It debut at its peak of number ten on" → "The song debuted at its peak of number 10 on" per MOS:NUM
 * "and at its peak of number 14" → "and at the peak position of number 14" to avoid repetitive wording
 * "at the Slovakia" → "on the Slovakia"
 * Target Rádio Top 100 to International Federation of the Phonographic Industry
 * "The single debut at its peak, number 19, on the Scottish Singles Charts." → "It debuted and peaked at number 19 on the Scottish Singles Chart." with the target
 * "It entered at number 30" → "The song entered at number 30"
 * "and peaked at number 14 on" → "and later peaked at number 14 in"
 * "It was certified platinum" → ""Rocketeer" was certified platinum"
 * Change to New Zealand Singles Chart and target to Official New Zealand Music Chart
 * "becoming certified gold" → "ultimately being certified gold"
 * "on the South Korea International Chart (Gaon)." → "on Gaon's South Korea International Chart."

Music video
❌ he is trying to reach her, not give her something. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:39, 24 July 2020 (UTC) ❌ just a brief mention in his nationality, he is not so known.
 * Retitle to Music videos since there was more than one, or maybe retitle to Music video and short film, even?
 * "reported the music video" → "reported that the music video" with the wikilink
 * Remove wikilink on Downtown Los Angeles, though capitalise the first word as instructed
 * "they met and are part" → "they met which are part"
 * "and premiered on" → "and premiered via"
 * "to get to his girlfriend" → "for getting to his girlfriend"
 * [28][22][51] put in numerical order
 * "rides his skateboard" → "he rides his skateboard"
 * "sparks behind him."" → "sparks behind him"."
 * "the chorus and Far East Movement," → "the chorus, and Far East Movement,"
 * "and American artist David Choe." → "and artist David Choe."
 * [51][28][52] put in numerical order
 * "Idolator's Robbie Daw said the video it is" → "Daw said the music video is"
 * "the song itself."" → "the song itself"."
 * Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine)
 * "said that the song" → "stated that the song"
 * "Complex commented the scenes of downtown" → "The staff of Complex commented that the scenes of Downtown"

All ✅. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:12, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * "were worth seeing." → "are worth seeing."
 * "Sharyar Rvzi of Dallas Observer said" → "Sharyar Rvzi of the Dallas Observer said"
 * "hat on the video" → "hat for the video"
 * "in the official music video" → "in the music video"
 * "between Universal Music Group and media-tech company Mirriad" → "between Universal Music Group, media-tech company Mirriad"
 * "These adds have a limited" → "The adds have a limited"
 * "advertising" a company" → "advertising", a company"
 * "In 2011, Far East Movement also released" → "In 2011, Far East Movement went on to release"
 * ""Rockteer", called "Rocketeer (LA Dreamer Short Film)", and" → ""Rockteer" entitled "Rocketeer (LA Dreamer Short Film)", which"
 * "Melrose Avenue and downtown Los Angeles" → "Melrose Avenue, and Downtown Los Angeles"
 * "Anthony Osei writing for Complex said" → "For Complex, Anthony Osei said"
 * "from their town." → "from the town."
 * "thus sounding like when" → "thus Far East Movement sounding like when"
 * "featured on the video" → "used for the video"
 * "and less glossy."" → "and less glossy"."
 * "including their" → "including Far East Movement's"

Live performances and other use

 * "On February 7, 2011," → "That same day,"
 * I fixed the dates. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:35, 23 July 2020 (UTC)

❌ Numbers above ten can be spelled. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:35, 23 July 2020 (UTC)
 * "on Conan hosted by" → "on Conan, hosted by"
 * "performance of the single" → "performance of the song"
 * "replacing Tedder on" → "replacing Tedder for"
 * "considered the fourth best performance along with" → "considered it the fourth best performance, tied with"
 * "On March 13, 2011 the group" → "On March 13, 2011, the group"
 * "On May 23, 2011 the group" → "On May 23 of that year, Far East Movement"
 * Add release year of "If I Was You (OMG)" in brackets
 * 2011 Billboard Music Awards → 2011 Billboard Music Awards
 * "on the tenth episode of the" → "on the 10th episode of"
 * However, it is commonly advised that they are not. --Kyle Peake (talk) 20:55, 23 July 2020 (UTC)
 * That is not true, as according to MOS "Integers greater than nine expressible in one or two words may be expressed either in numerals or in word". See here. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk)

✅
 * "(2011). Miguel replaced" → "(2011), with Miguel replacing"
 * Target Java Soulnation 2013 to Java Soulnation
 * Campaign sentence belongs as the last of this section instead, since the performances should come first due to the title's order
 * "campaign promoted by" → "campaign that was promoted by"
 * "In 2016, the group performed" → "In 2016, Far East Movement performed"
 * "featuring Urban Zakapa singing" → "and Urban Zakapa sung"

Formats and track listings

 * Should it be Digital download or Digital download / streaming?
 * Streaming was not used by labels that much in 2010. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:39, 23 July 2020 (UTC)


 * CD Single → CD single
 * The last digital download track listing should have a different title, since it is for the live version not original
 * It is still a digital download, the title is indeed diferent "Rocketeer" (Live At Cherrytree House) (featuring Frankmusik)". MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:39, 23 July 2020 (UTC)
 * I am aware of that; I never said it was not a digital download, I meant add something else to the title to differentiate that it is the live performance download and not the original version. --Kyle Peake (talk) 20:55, 23 July 2020 (UTC)
 * I understood that. After the title rocketeer, it clearly says it is the live version. It is not a "live digital download". The download is regular, the version is just live. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:03, 23 July 2020 (UTC)
 * I never told you to title it that, basically I mean to give it a different title similarly to the remixes one since it's not the og version... --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:59, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * That was an example. Done. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:40, 24 July 2020 (UTC)

✅

Credits and personnel
✅ for all but Movement as they are linked in the entire article. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:41, 23 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Target Cherrytree Records to Martin Kierszenbaum
 * Add a full stop before [10]
 * Target North Hollywood to North Hollywood, Los Angeles
 * Wikilink Far East Movement
 * Target mastering to Mastering (audio)

Weekly charts
✅
 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION for all three chart tables
 * Target Gaon to Gaon Music Chart
 * You should only have this subsection once and keep the other versions in the separate tables, but have them directly below the original in col
 * Remove (featuring Frankmusik) from the chart position since the table makes that clear, plus remove target on Gaon for second mention

Year-end charts
✅
 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Have this solely on the right with the col
 * This tables look repetitive with "Weekly chart performance for "Rocketeer"" in all three. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:47, 23 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Give different captions for the different versions --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:55, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * See if it is moer suitable. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:42, 24 July 2020 (UTC)

Certifications

 * Good

Release history

 * Are you sure Digital download releases shouldn't have streaming too since being on the retailers indicates this?
 * See above. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:49, 23 July 2020 (UTC)


 * Label → Label(s)
 * Original should last for the first three rows continuously with no separation
 * Are you sure the radio formats and labels shouldn't be wikilinked/targetted?
 * Not the labels, they are everywhere in the article. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:49, 23 July 2020 (UTC)

✅
 * Make original go direct from row 5 to 6 too
 * CD Single → CD single

Final comments and verdict
I believe I addressed every issue, let me know if I missed something and give it a second look of course. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:22, 24 July 2020 (UTC)
 * after reviewing over the course of the day, felt great to run through this! --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:33, 23 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Good job on the changes and responding properly rather than having any argument, ✅ for this now. --Kyle Peake (talk) 09:54, 26 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you for taking your time to review the aticle. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:40, 26 July 2020 (UTC)