Talk:Rohit Sharma/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 11:53, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

I'll be reviewing this! Note that I'm not a cricket expert, so if I make any comments that evidence an ignorance of the game, feel free to correct me. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 11:53, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

1.	Well-written 2.	Verifiable 3.	Broad—seems to fully cover his career 4.	Neutral—article presents things neutrally and fairly 5.	Stable—article does not seem to be the topic of an edit war. 6.	Illustrated—Well-illustrated, images look good.

Lead
The lead is supposed to be a summary of the article’s content.
 * ” Under his captaincy, India won the Asia Cup and Nidahas Trophy in 2018” – This isn’t mentioned in the body of the article at all. Incorporate it into the body of the text. Once you’ve done that, you can remove the cite from the lead—cites aren’t required for info in the lead that is cited elsewhere in the article.
 * Have removed this altogether as the competitions are of secondary importance. It was a recent addition that should have been edited out at the time.


 * Also, link captain on first mention
 * Done.

Early life

 * ” His mother Purnima Sharma is” – “His mother, Purnima Sharma, is” – The way its phrased, Purnima Sharma is not a necessary part of the sentence, so it should be offset by commas.
 * Agreed. Done.


 * Same with Gurunath Sharma in the next sentence.
 * Done.


 * ” His coach at the camp was Dinesh Lad who asked him to change his school to Swami Vivekanand International School where Lad was the coach and which had better cricket facilities.” – Kind of a run-on sentence. How about “Dinesh Lad, his coach at the camp, asked him to change his school to Swami Vivekanand International School, where Lad was the coach and the cricket facilities were better than those at Sharma’s old school.”
 * Yes, that is better English. Done.


 * Link century on first mention.
 * Done. No Great Shaker (talk) 14:34, 14 April 2021 (UTC)

Youth and domestic first class career

 * Link out on first mention
 * In fact, the link should be not out and have done that.


 * tournament. although he – Comma instead of a period.
 * Done.


 * Link captain on first mention
 * Done. No Great Shaker (talk) 14:38, 14 April 2021 (UTC)

Test matches

 * ”made his test debut” - Link Test.
 * Done.


 * ”by an Indian behind” – “by an Indian to”
 * Done.


 * ”During the first test”—doesn’t need to be its own paragraph; merge with the one before it.
 * Agreed. Done.


 * ” scored his 2,000th run” – link run
 * Done. No Great Shaker (talk) 14:43, 14 April 2021 (UTC)

2015 and 2019 Cricket World Cups
This section looks good.

Other one-day international matches

 * Fourth paragraph – “a matching-winning” – “a match-winning”?
 * Done.


 * Fifth paragraph—no comma after Dhoni, but comma after “in him”
 * Done.


 * The first six paragraphs all start with Sharma—maybe reword the beginning of a couple of them for variety.
 * Yes, it is somewhat repetitive. Changed to 2 x Sharma, 3 x He and 1 x His. Please check and see how that looks.


 * ” a then world record” – “a then-world record”
 * Done.


 * Do we know who broke the record? If so, please mention this.
 * Good question. I don't. Can you please leave this with me?
 * The given source provides the answer. It was Eoin Morgan of England who scored 17 sixes against Afghanistan in 2019.


 * Sometimes the national cricket team is linked, other times the national cricket team for the season is linked. For uniformity, please either do it one way or the other.  If you’re going to link it for the season, then relink it for each new season in which it is mentioned.
 * I've made a few changes to rectify this but the links to tours seem to be correct within context. Can you please check again and specify any links you are unsure of? Thanks. No Great Shaker (talk) 19:54, 14 April 2021 (UTC)


 * ” In 2019, he scored the most runs in ODIs by any batsman, with 1490 runs” – move this to the end of the paragraph.
 * Done.


 * ” It was his 200th innings” – forgive me if this is a stupid question, but should innings be plural or singular?
 * Not a silly question at all. Cricket is sometimes a silly game and "innings" is one example of that. It is always plural.


 * ” After India v/s West Indies 2nd ODI at Vizag” – Looks like it might be an informal abbreviation—is there a way you could write this out? “After India’s second OCI against the West Indies at Vizag”, for instance?
 * Have revised this entire sentence and hope it makes more sense now. Could you please check?

Twenty20 international matches

 * ”the feat:” – should be semicolon, not colon
 * Done.

Indian Premier League

 * ” Mumbai have won” – “Mumbai has won”.
 * Done.


 * Last sentence needs a cite and doesn’t need his first name.
 * Removed the recently added sentence which made little sense given that his career is far from over, especially as it was unsourced.

Playing style

 * ”Sharma is considered” – Take out considered. Otherwise, editors will want to know “Who” considered.
 * Agreed and done.


 * ”limited-overs cricket” – no comma needed after this since next clause is not independent.
 * Done.


 * Link slip.
 * Done.

Achievements

 * ”During 2019 World Cup” – “During the 2019 World Cup”.
 * Done.


 * Just noticed this, but link four and six – both are mentioned earlier in the article.
 * Done.

Commercial endorsements

 * ” including the Swiss watchmaker Hublot and CEAT” – “including CEAT and the Swiss watchmaker Hublot” – to make clearer that CEAT is not the watchmaker.
 * Done.


 * ” In his career spanning 11 years” – take out “spanning 11 years”
 * Done.

Philanthropy

 * ” Sharma is noted for his philanthropic activities and promotes various causes such as animal welfare, health, and children” – “Sharma engages in numerous philanthropic activities, promoting various causes such as animal welfare, health, and children”
 * Done.


 * ” he had tied up with an online store” – “he had agreed with an online store”
 * Done.


 * Link Twitter
 * Done.


 * On the World Rhino Day paragraph, that last period should go within the quotation marks, since it is for the sentence in the quote.
 * Done.