Talk:Romania in the Eurovision Song Contest 1993/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 20:14, 29 September 2019 (UTC)

Happy to review the article. Amitchell125 20:14, 29 September 2019 (UTC)

Assessment
Detailed comments to follow, section, by section. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:30, 1 October 2019 (UTC)

Lead section

 * The lead section needs to be completely re-written, as much of it is a copy of the main text of the article word-for-word, and so it is not a summary at all. See the introduction to MOS:LEAD, which includes the statement: "The lead serves as an introduction to the article and a summary of its most important contents".
 * ✅ I tried to reword some sentences. Is it better now?
 * Not really. Some more along the lines of the following (use it if you wish, but it's just to show which details should go):
 * "Romania attempted to debut in the finals of the Eurovision Song Contest 1993, held that year in Millstreet, Ireland, being one of seven countries interested that year in taking part in the contest for the first time. The national final was held in January 1993, and "Nu pleca" (English: "Don't go"), written and performed by the Romanian singer Dida Drăgan and composed by Adrian Ordean, was selected to be the Romanian entry.
 * Romania then competed for a place in the finals of the contest in a pre-qualifying round, Kvalifikacija za Millstreet, that took place in Ljubljana. The song ranked last, and so failed to qualify for the finals in Ireland. Predominantly negative reactions from Romanian media followed as a result of her poor performance."
 * Amitchell125 (talk) 16:31, 2 October 2019 (UTC)

Additionally, the lead section has information that needs to be included in the main text:
 * She wrote the song, while Adrian Ordean composed it.
 * The text says 'produced' - should it say 'composed' too?
 * ...Romania was one of the seven countries interested to debut in the Eurovision Song Contest...
 * ...Drăgan failed to qualify from the pre-selection...
 * ...Drăgan failed to qualify from the pre-selection...
 * ...Drăgan failed to qualify from the pre-selection...

Other points:
 * ...interested to debut in the Eurovision Song Contest following… - improve the prose by amending to 'interested to taking part in the Eurovision Song Contest for the first time, following'
 * ...followed her poor result - '…followed as a result of her poor result'.
 * ✅ changed the latter "result" to "finish" though
 * The lead section needs to mention that not all the comments made since 1993 about her performance have been negative.
 * The lead section needs to mention that not all the comments made since 1993 about her performance have been negative.

Before Eurovision

 * No page exists for Institutul Român de Sondare an Opiniei Publice.
 * The Romanian Television - change to ' Romanian Television' (as the company is referred to in its own article as 'TVR' in its own article and elsewhere, not 'The Romanian Television'.
 * Comma after (IRSOP) and Slovenia.
 * native media - 'local media' is the correct term.
 * Remove comma after 'third place'.
 * Citation required to verify the information in the 'National final' table.
 * ❌ Adevărul lists all the entries submitted to the national final.
 * Understood.
 * There is a translation of "Nu pleca"? ('Don't go') here, which would be useful of English readers. Also, this link contains further information which it might be useful to include.
 * ❌ The reference is a blog and it seems to be highly unreliable, so I will not use it. I included a translation of the song's title in the lead, and that doesn't need a reference.
 * Understood.
 * The image in the article can be used as "Romanian artistic photographs whose protection term expired before 1996 are now in the public domain" (according to the WikiCommons page for the image) - it shouldn't be difficult to find a 1993 picture of Dida Drăgan and use it as an additional image.
 * by Romanian singer Dida Drăgan(from the lead section) - more information about her background (including her nationality) could be included in this section, perhaps?
 * ✅ I included a bit more about her in the image's text, but more shouldn't be there about here here. It is not exactly the central topic of this article.
 * Thanks, it looks better.
 * Understood.
 * The image in the article can be used as "Romanian artistic photographs whose protection term expired before 1996 are now in the public domain" (according to the WikiCommons page for the image) - it shouldn't be difficult to find a 1993 picture of Dida Drăgan and use it as an additional image.
 * by Romanian singer Dida Drăgan(from the lead section) - more information about her background (including her nationality) could be included in this section, perhaps?
 * ✅ I included a bit more about her in the image's text, but more shouldn't be there about here here. It is not exactly the central topic of this article.
 * Thanks, it looks better.
 * Thanks, it looks better.

At Kvalifikacija za Millstreet

 * ...dissolution of Yugoslavia... - change to 'breakup of Yugoslavia' and link this phrase to Breakup of Yugoslavia, instead of linking Yugoslavia.
 * ...and communism, ... - consider deleting this, as it's not clear that communism "dissolved" as such.
 * It was hosted… - replace with 'The pre-qulaifying round was hosted…' for improved clarity.
 * Romania performed fifth… - change to 'Romania was the fifth country to perform its song'.
 * At the close of the voting,… - remove from the text (as it's obvious that she lost once voting was completed).
 * It consisted of 12 points awarded by Croatia... - the prose is better if it is written as '12 points were awarded by Croatia'.
 * from Romanian media - 'from the Romanian media'.
 * ...accused IRSOP... - 'accused the IRSOP'.
 * ❌ This actually the same as for TVR, and "the" shouldn't be mentioned here either.
 * OK
 * ...failed to "inform" … - why does the word 'inform' has quotation marks?
 * ✅ Removed
 * from Romanian media - 'from the Romanian media'.
 * ...accused IRSOP... - 'accused the IRSOP'.
 * ❌ This actually the same as for TVR, and "the" shouldn't be mentioned here either.
 * OK
 * ...failed to "inform" … - why does the word 'inform' has quotation marks?
 * ✅ Removed
 * ✅ Removed

Lots done, thanks!
There's lots of issues sorted out, and the article is looking so much better, and closer to GA status. If you can sort the lead section out, that would be brilliant. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 16:57, 2 October 2019 (UTC)
 * I think I've amended that now. Greets; Cartoon network freak (talk) 04:14, 4 October 2019 (UTC)
 * All looks fine now, so I am passing the article.  Thank you for a job well done, Cartoon network freak. Amitchell125 (talk) 06:42, 4 October 2019 (UTC)