Talk:Royce Clayton/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 16:20, 1 March 2022 (UTC)

Hello! I'll be reviewing this article to help reduce the backlog and gain points for the WikiCup. Although QPQ is by no means required, if you fancy returning the favor, I have a list of articles in need of review here.

Infobox and lede

 * Middle name needs a reference (you wouldn't believe the edit warring that occurs without one)
 * I am aware from personal experience that people can screw around with middle names, but I don't see Clayton's middle name as Likely to be challenged. All of the external links (MLB.com, Fangraphs, Baseball Reference) show his middle name as "Spencer". – Muboshgu (talk) 02:14, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "where he succeeded childhood idol Ozzie Smith"
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 02:14, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "and pursued various or multiple business ventures"
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 02:14, 2 March 2022 (UTC)

Early life

 * "and raised in Inglewood, California" "and was raised in Inglewood"
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 02:16, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "and switched to playing shortstop" "and switched to playing that position"
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 02:16, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Period where there should be a comma after "St. Bernard High School"
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 02:16, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "which Smith was known for" "something which Smith was known to do"
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 02:16, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * The link on "letter of intent" should be piped to National Letter of Intent, as currently it links to a non-athletics contract
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 02:16, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "to play" "and play"
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 02:16, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Switch the order of sentences to clarify that his .513 average is from his senior year of high school, not college
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 02:16, 2 March 2022 (UTC)

Professional career

 * Broadly, every level 3 subhead in this section would do well to have a date range after the team name for signposting
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)

San Francisco Giants

 * "Class A-Short Season" "Class A Short Season" to avoid redirect in/for consistency with the link
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Comma after "Clayton struggled initially"
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * The sentence beginning Starting the 1989 season is very long and can probably be split into two
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "33 steals" "33 stolen bases"
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "and Shreveport won the Texas League championship" "helping Shreveport to the Texas League championship in the process"
 * Done (helping Shreveport win the Texas League championship). – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Two paragraphs in a row begin with "After"; recommend changing the one about his salary, as that one reads slightly more awkwardly
 * How's this? – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Link first instance of National League
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)

St. Louis Cardinals

 * Kind of jumped out of nowhere that Smith was still on the roster, could use more signposting
 * I left out the detail that the Cardinals had tried to sign two free agent shortstops before trading for Clayton. Will add. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:23, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Added that Ozzie had a perpetuating contract, that Greg Gagne and Walt Weiss passed on signing with the Cards because they didn't want the sideshow, and also more on why the Giants would trade Clayton (Aurilia, failing to come to terms on an extension). – Muboshgu (talk) 19:49, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "LaRussa" "La Russa" throughout
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "LaRussa gave the starting role to Clayton. LaRussa gave Clayton the majority of the playing time." "La Russa gave Clayton the starting role and the majority of playing time."
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 19:49, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "Cardinals' fans" "Cardinals fans"
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 19:49, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
 * And what were those numbers of RBI and XBH?
 * Added – Muboshgu (talk) 19:49, 3 March 2022 (UTC)

Texas Rangers

 * End sentence after "that nearly came to blows"
 * "after Curtis insisted on turning off rap music that Clayton was playing whose lyrics Curtis objected to." "Curtis objected to the lyrical content of the rap music Clayton was playing in the room and insisted on turning off the player."
 * That's the one piece of text from before my expansion that I forgot to touch. I think I'll tackle that part tomorrow. – Muboshgu (talk)
 * Fixed. – Muboshgu (talk) 21:48, 3 March 2022 (UTC)

Chicago White Sox and Milwaukee Brewers

 * "contract to be their new shortstop"
 * D'oh. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Link "errors" to Error (baseball)
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "Clayton struggled offensively"
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)

Later career

 * " who acquired him to have him serve"
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:08, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Expand on retirement stats beyond hits and stolen bases. I'd include homers, RBIs, and maybe some defensive stats like fielding percentage, putouts, double players, errors, etc.
 * The reason that's all I had is because he's not the kind of player to have too many retrospectives, it seems. Those were the only stats Crasnick gave. I'll see what else I can find, or I'll improvise with B-Ref. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:20, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * I found and used this Perfect Game source for his BA and HR totals. – Muboshgu (talk) 19:38, 4 March 2022 (UTC)

Post-playing career

 * Split paragraphs differently so that one is on his coaching career (Little League & high school) and one is on his business investments
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 05:19, 2 March 2022 (UTC)

Personal life

 * Clayton credited Davies with teaching him to keep his legs in condition with the longevity of his baseball career double "with" creates confusing syntax
 * Fixed – Muboshgu (talk) 19:39, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "It was a speaking part" is redundant with the next sentence
 * Removed – Muboshgu (talk) 04:14, 2 March 2022 (UTC)

General comments

 * Images are properly licensed and relevant
 * No stability concerns in the revision history
 * Earwig score looks good; high numbers are due to proper nouns

Putting on hold to allow nominator to address comments. Please feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished! —  Ghost River  17:11, 1 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Very interesting to me to see what little things I missed in my expansion. I'll probably be finished with this tomorrow. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:14, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
 * , I believe I've addressed all points. – Muboshgu (talk) 21:48, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
 * All of my comments have been addressed, happy to pass! —  Ghost River  19:04, 5 March 2022 (UTC)