Talk:Rudolf Hess/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Retrolord (talk · contribs) 05:59, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

This one should be interesting, thanks for nominating!  ★ ★ RetroLord★ ★  05:59, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

"Hess continued to be interested in aviation. He won an air race in 1934, flying a BFW M.35 in a circuit around Zugspitze Mountain and returning to the airfield at Munich with a time of 29 minutes. He placed sixth of 29 participants in a similar race held the next year.[52] With the outbreak of World War II, Hess asked Hitler to be allowed to join the Luftwaffe as a pilot, but Hitler forbade it, and ordered him to stop flying for the duration of the war. Hess convinced him to reduce the ban to one year.[50]" I think this bit doesn't belong where it is, could you find another spot to put it?  ★ ★ RetroLord★ ★  06:29, 1 March 2013 (UTC)
 * I think moving it up to the previous section is a good solution, as there's already discussion there about leisure-time activities. -- Dianna (talk) 15:29, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

"Albrecht Haushofer was arrested and held prisoner for three months.[73] Pintsch spent three years in confinement, after which he was sent to the Russian Front, where he was taken prisoner. He was not repatriated until 1955." This seems to have no relation to the sentences prededing it or the paragraph it is in, what is it there for?  ★ ★ RetroLord★ ★  06:29, 1 March 2013 (UTC)
 * This is overly detailed and a bit off-topic, so I have removed it. -- Dianna (talk) 15:29, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

I also pointed out some other problems below, mainly to do with criteria 3b, unneccessary detail. Thanks!  ★ ★ RetroLord★ ★  06:29, 1 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. I think I have dealt with all the items. Thanks! -- Dianna (talk) 15:29, 1 March 2013 (UTC)


 * Minor note - AFAIK Freikorps wasn't exactly a centralized movement, but the wording in "World War I" kinda implies otherwise. --Lenin and McCarthy |  (Complain here) 23:30, 1 March 2013 (UTC)
 * I am not understanding your remark; I don't see the Freikorps and WWI connected in any way in the prose. Could you be more specific? -- Dianna (talk) 01:30, 2 March 2013 (UTC)
 * I meant the WWI section here and the sentence "Hess joined the Thule Society, an antisemitic right-wing Völkisch group, and the Freikorps, a volunteer paramilitary organisation." --Lenin and McCarthy |  (Complain here) 02:05, 2 March 2013 (UTC)
 * I get what your saying, but how would we change the sentence?  ★ ★ RetroLord★ ★  02:37, 2 March 2013 (UTC)
 * I dunno. I figured Dianna would know a good rewording for the sources, but I'm taking a crack at it anyway. --Lenin and McCarthy |  (Complain here) 03:02, 2 March 2013 (UTC)
 * The way you tweeked the prose I now understand what you meant. There were multiple Freicorps; it was a generic term. I have amended the prose to try to make it clearer. See what you think. -- Dianna (talk) 04:05, 2 March 2013 (UTC)
 * I'm fine with that.  ★ ★ RetroLord★ ★  04:29, 2 March 2013 (UTC)

Article looks set to pass. Assuming nothing else pops out i'll pass it later today. Thanks!  ★ ★ RetroLord★ ★  04:40, 2 March 2013 (UTC)