Talk:Russell Branyan/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 01:05, 12 April 2020 (UTC)

Criteria
1. Prose ✅

2. Verifiability ✅

3. Depth of Coverage ✅

4. Neutral ✅

5. Stable ✅

6. Illustrations ✅

7. Miscellaneous ✅

Comments
1.
 * Per WP:LEADCITE, is the citation for the list of teams Branyan played for in the lead necessary? It all seems to be supported in the rest of the article.
 * Removed
 * "Ranked as the Indians' top prospect in 1999 by Baseball America." - This is an incomplete sentence
 * Fixed
 * Wikilink the disabled list in the lead
 * "ophthalmologist" needs a wikilink
 * " Branyan was selected as an All-Georgia State player in both 1993 and 1994" - Specify which sport, many talented high school athletes play multiple sports
 * ""Lou Boudreau Award"" - Remove the quotes
 * Link the levels of the minor leagues where plausible
 * "Russell Branyan was once considered " - Seems a little weird to use the full name here.
 * "New York Yankees' pitcher David Cone" - MOS:SEAOFBLUE. Not sure what's the best way to rearrange though
 * "After the 1999 season, Baseball America named Branyan as the Indians top prospect.[13] " - Move this to before you start discussing the 2000 season.
 * The 2000 MLB season is a duplink
 * "Branyan called the trade to Cincinnati, "a clean slate"," - Not convinced the commas are necessary.
 * Pitcher is a duplink
 * Wiklink strikeout at first mention
 * "in game" - Hyphenate
 * "seventh-inning" - remove the hyphen
 * " during his at-bat" - Wikilink at bat
 * You state he was assigned to the Buffalo Bisons on April 25, 2004 but in the citation (dated April 26), it states "he will be assigned"
 * " In 1999 for the Bisons, he batted .208 and hit 30 home runs." - The Bisons aren't mentioned before, they level and city of the team should be mentioned
 * Link the Bisons at the first point of mention, instead of the second in his second stint with the Indians.
 * "Russell Branyan, signonsandiego.com: July 29, 2004" - I don't think we need the source in the quote
 * "1 start" - Spell out one
 * "5 at first base and 3 in left field" - Spell out five and three
 * Wikilink 25-man roster
 * "— Russell Branyan, CBC: August 24, 2006" - Again, I'm not sure if the source of the interview is needed in the quote
 * Wiklink on-base percentage
 * Wikilink slugging percentage
 * Wiklink errors
 * "He got off to a slow start out of spring training.[75]" - Unclear if this is referring to Branyan or Kouzmanoff
 * The Brewers are duplinked
 * Not sure if mlb.com is needed in the quote in the Brewers second tenure section.
 * "Branyan finished the season with 12 home runs, and 20 RBIs in 132 at bats." - Unlink at bats here and link at first mention
 * "The program is one like designated hitter (DH) Edgar Martínez used when he played for the Mariners.[99]" - Probably shouldn't be in present tense
 * " The previous, 24, was achieved during the 2002 season." - Rephrase to "number 24"
 * "On August 9, 2009, Branyan hit a grand slam in the bottom of the sixth inning" - Unlike the 2009 season and grand slam here and link them in their first mentions.
 * "— Russell Branyan, rottoworld.com: September 15, 2009" - Either remove rotoworld or correct the spelling
 * The Rays are a duplink
 * Opening Day is sometimes uppercase, and sometimes lowercase. It should be consistent.
 * "after playing in 33 games with Failing" - I do believe you're missing part of this sentence.
 * The Cleveland Indians are duplinked
 * "Jill's mother saw the injury and said she, Jill, and the children should leave the home for the evening and go to her house" - This implies that Jill's mother needed to leave Branyans house, but it's later implied in the same sentence the mother has her own home. This needs reworded a little bit.
 * "Branyan's attorney, Philip Kushner, and Pepper Pike prosecutor Jonathan D. Greenberg agreed to terms of a temporary protection order against Branyan that protected Branyan's wife and their two children by temporarily prohibiting Branyan from being within 500 feet of his wife or children among other provisions" - This can be made more concise
 * "after playing in 33 games with Failing" - I do believe you're missing part of this sentence.
 * The Cleveland Indians are duplinked
 * "Jill's mother saw the injury and said she, Jill, and the children should leave the home for the evening and go to her house" - This implies that Jill's mother needed to leave Branyans house, but it's later implied in the same sentence the mother has her own home. This needs reworded a little bit.
 * "Branyan's attorney, Philip Kushner, and Pepper Pike prosecutor Jonathan D. Greenberg agreed to terms of a temporary protection order against Branyan that protected Branyan's wife and their two children by temporarily prohibiting Branyan from being within 500 feet of his wife or children among other provisions" - This can be made more concise

2.
 * Last MLB appearance needs a citation or a mention in the text.
 * Mentioned in the text, cited in text
 * Final MLB statistics need a citation
 * Ref 7 is dead
 * Archived
 * " In 1999 for the Bisons, he batted .208 and hit 30 home runs." - Citation needed
 * Consider trying to clarify the publisher. Is it MLB or a team for the team sites?, for instance.
 * I'm pretty sure MLB oversees all the team sites. They are all designed exactly the same way. I don't think specifying which team ran which website would add a lot of value. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 14:43, 13 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Ref 41 is dead
 * "Branyan hit .279 with 26 homers and 79 RBIs in 93 games at the Triple-A level in 2004, and posted a .234 batting average with 11 homers, and 27 RBIs in 51 games with the Brewers. He hit six home runs in his first 14 games with Milwaukee. He played 44 games at third base (40 starts), and two games at first base (1 start). On December 21, the Brewers resigned Branyan, avoiding salary arbitration" - The citations given only support " and posted a .234 batting average with 11 homers, and 27 RBIs in 51 games with the Brewers"
 * "By the end of the 2005 season, Branyan played 59 games at third base, 5 at first base and 3 in left field. On the offensive side, Branyan batted .257 with 11 doubles, 12 home runs and 31 RBIs." - Citation needed
 * Ref 56 is dead
 * "In 64 games for the Devil Rays, Branyan batted .201 with 12 home runs, 10 doubles, and 27 RBIs." - Citation needed
 * "On October 30, Branyan's $1,268,240 option was picked up by the Padres." - Refs 70 and 71 are after this sentence. Ref 70 is dead and 71 only gives the figure of 1,000,000
 * " During the 2009 season, Branyan hit a towering home run and made history by becoming the only hitter to date to reach the upper deck at the new Yankee Stadium in official game play. In Branyan's first at-bat of the game on August 7, he hit a home run. This was his 25th home run on the year, but it also set a new career high." - There's several things wrong here. The part about Yankee Stadium isn't in the ref.  Also, you should indicate the August 7th game isn't the same as the Yankees game.
 * " The previous, 24, was achieved during the 2002 season. He has also set career records in RBIs, doubles, hits, runs and total bases in the 2009 season." - Citation needed
 * Ref 102 is dead.
 * "in 116 games at first base, all starts." - Citation needed
 * When the publisher and the website are the same, only list the publisher.
 * Ref 8 goes to the Baseball Cube homepage.
 * Replaced
 * Ref 9 is dead
 * Archived
 * Ref 10 is dead
 * Archived
 * Ref 11 is dead
 * Archived
 * Ref 13 needs a subscription required parameter
 * Added
 * Ref 14 is dead
 * Archived
 * Ref 16 is dead
 * Put new URL
 * Ref 41 is dead
 * Archived
 * Ref 66 is dead
 * Somehow, a capital L got added when I typed it - fixed
 * Ref 70 is dead
 * Removed 70; 71 covered it
 * Ref 89 is dead
 * Archived
 * Ref 102 is dead
 * 102 fixed - extra slash in URL
 * Ref 107 is dead
 * 107 Replaced
 * In one ref, clevland.com is called the Plain Dealer, in another spot, it's called Cleveland Live.
 * In one ref, clevland.com is called the Plain Dealer, in another spot, it's called Cleveland Live.

3.
 * Date of birth and birthplace should be mentioned in the early life section
 * Can some stats for how he did with the Cardinals in '07?
 * Can we get a final statline for his '07 season?
 * Can we get a final statline for his '07 season?
 * Can we get a final statline for his '07 season?

4.

5.

6.

7.
 * I'd recommend reordering the headings some. A lot of baseball biographies are structured to where the level two heading for their career doesn't start until they reach the minors.  The High school level three heading could then become a level two heading for Early life or such.
 * You're right; that's better than the way it was. Reordered. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 00:33, 13 April 2020 (UTC)

That's it for round one. There's some ref work that'll have to be done on this one, hopefully archiving fixes a lot of it.