Talk:Russian jokes/Archive 2


 * What happened to the joke about the brick? It was a magnificent specimen of Russian non sequitur. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 110.238.7.191 (talk) 16:11, 29 February 2012 (UTC)

Animated films.
I suggest that jokes about Karlsson, Winnie the Pooh and other characters of soviet animated films should also be mentioned. What do you think? --deerstop (talk) 22:08, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I agree, but I suggest you to expand while adhering to wikipedia standards which are much stricter today than when the article was started. In particular, please use the professional sources about this kind of jokes, not just jokebooks, which are legion today. "Professional" sources are the ones which either deal with Russian culture or discuss notability of a particular joke. See more about reliable sources in wikipedia. `'Míkka>t 22:33, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * If I had sources, I wouldn't ask other useres to add this information. Obviously. :) --deerstop (talk) 09:06, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

"Since the election of Vladimir Putin, all jokes about Vovochka are considered political."
I don't get this joke. Could someone explain this? (yes, I'm a bit rusty :p) 130.195.5.7 (talk) 08:20, 2 September 2008 (UTC) Vovochka == Vladimir.

The more childish version of the name, anyway.Vicky Molokh (talk) 15:45, 8 September 2008 (UTC)

Well, it is hard to understanding, but I will try. It will be long, but I hope I can help you. If you don't want to read all of this, find a last paragraph of my text.

I think, it is need to describe, what does mean "political joke" in Russia firstly. It played a really big role in Russian humour. It is about topic of liberty of speech in USSR. (if you like, you can read Solzhenitsin to know little more about it) In Stalin's time censorship was a powerful force. You say one wrong word - and you are already the враг народа ("vrag naroda", means "enemy of nation"). You could just say to the witnesses: "Stalin is a paranoic" - and KGB catched you. And after - you got in a jail, or even to execution... why, in 60th it was menthal clynic - but it wasn't more better... Nevertheless there were a political jokes, even about punishment for themselves. People described jokes to other in secret, with a whisper... Some was punished for it, but it couldn't be stopped. For example: "Stalin's secretary says to him: - Comrade Stalin, there is the man look-alike you in Moscow. What we can do with him? - I think, we must to shoot him. - Why? May be, just shave his moustache? - Oh, good idea, comrade! Shave his moustache and shoot."

Of course, now it is not existing. But people are remember that time (at least from describes), and now joking about it. And let's back to the question. What is in "Vovochka" joke? Jokes of this type is a very popular. In some of them Vovochka is a hooligan, thug, in some - stupid boy, etc. But when Putin was elected as the Russia's president, we was found that his name (Vladimir) and his height (shorter than medium) can make us to call him Vovochka - childish form of his name, as sayed above. So it was assoсiation between them both. Of course, it is silly. But it makes Russians laugh. Then, after remembering Stalin's time it opened the second association, and the second wave of laugh is beginning.

Thereby - three things you need to know. 1. Putin can be called Vovochka for some reasons. 2. Vovochka is a character of jokes about kids and/or schoolchildren. 3. In history of Russia (and USSR) was the time, when you can be punished because of you described jokes about your government. So, if you are describes jokes about Vovochka, they can think that you describe joke about president and punish you. Of course, nobody think so, but people are laughing. Dendr (talk) 10:37, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

I have strong feelings that these political "jokes" as Russian as The Statue of Liberty or apeared during so called "Perestroika". 217.66.28.169 (talk) 17:35, 7 September 2009 (UTC)

Concentration camp jokes
Don't see any here, but I had some Russian friends who would tell them all the time. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 96.227.117.181 (talk) 14:43, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

Article
So, I agree that Russian jokes are notable, but as it stands now this article is a bit of a mess. Wikipedia is not a jokebook or a repository for jokes, and the jokes need to be sourced and demonstrated notability. Otherwise this could wind up nommed for deletion. Are there any similar pages that we might model this off of? TallNapoleon (talk) 03:22, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

Image copyright problem with Image:Stirlitz.jpg
The image Image:Stirlitz.jpg is used in this article under a claim of fair use, but it does not have an adequate explanation for why it meets the requirements for such images when used here. In particular, for each page the image is used on, it must have an explanation linking to that page which explains why it needs to be used on that page. Please check


 * That there is a non-free use rationale on the image's description page for the use in this article.
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This is an automated notice by FairuseBot. For assistance on the image use policy, see Media copyright questions. --23:32, 31 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Fixed. `'Míkka>t 18:00, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

Morphological translation

 * - Ohuyeli?! (Have [you] gone mad?!) Nahuya (why) dohuya (so much) huyni (of stuff) nahuyarili (you have loaded up)? Rashuyarivay (unload [it]) nahuy! (out of here)
 * - Huli?! (What's the problem?) Nihuya! (No way!) Nehuy (No need) rashuyarivat (to unload)! Nahuyacheno ([It] got loaded) nehuyovo!  (quite well)! Pohuyuarili! (Let's go)

"Did you dick up?" "why the dick is this dickload of dicks dicked up? dicking undick it to dick" "dicked? No dick! Not dicked, it dicked up quite dickilly. Lets dick out." —Preceding unsigned comment added by 67.167.212.36 (talk) 10:07, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * The question is whether this will be comprehensible to an English speaker. The Russian version is 100% comprehensible to a Russian. - 7-bubёn >t 18:17, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Ha-ha! And what about pohuy (indifference)? Also, we don't say nehuyovo - I've never heard this word in our speech. One of the most popular words is huynya (it means something that is badly made). Sorry for my bad English. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Алексей03 (talk • contribs) 19:40, 5 April 2009 (UTC)
 * One of the things you learn if you travel in Russia is that the expletives you take for granted at home may not be nearly as common in other parts of the country. There is a lot of common ground, sure, but quite a few regional differences exist as well, especially when it comes to derivatives.—Ëzhiki (Igels Hérissonovich Ïzhakoff-Amursky) • (yo?); 13:58, April 6, 2009 (UTC)

Football
Rebyata, a kak zhe pro football anekdoty? Kak zhe pro EURO-2008? Tut nedostatok.Mark Ekimov (talk) 09:04, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

Ethnic stereotypes
What about Poles? They don't appear in Russian jokes? --Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus 18:17, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * I cannot tell for Imperial Russia, but there had been none since the Soviet times. In view of Polish national hatred towards Russians, hard to believe, isn't it? There are elements of humor associated with Polish stereotypes, such as excessive pride of szlachta. Occasionally Polish surnames are mocked for the collocations 'prz': "pan Pshipshinski". But nothing even remotely similar to xenophobic Polack jokes. - Altenmann >t 21:54, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * "Polish national hatred towards Russians" - eh? It's not there are Russian jokes in Poland; other then some half-forgotten communist relics, and the "A Pole, a Russian and an American" jokes, in which Russians are about as ridiculed as the Americans (versions with Brits, French, Germans and so on are also present) :D --Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus 22:41, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * re: "eh?" are you tellinng me that Poles have warm feelings toward Russians? I doubt it was so during Tsarism and during Communism. Still, it is indeed an interesting question why there are close to none notable mutually insulting jokes between the two given the really long history of mutual belligerence. - Altenmann >t 18:51, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
 * The closest I can recall would be a vodka-drinking stereotype, but that's really not a joke per se (and it is not limited to Poland, anyway).--Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus 20:14, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
 * P.S. I myself contributed to "Polish-Soviet friendship" during my student times. I used to be a "social activist" in student times while avoiding being a komsomol functionary, and I travelled much on student exchanges. When visiting Polish students (math department), I impromptu cracked the following joke, based on the following math. theorem: of all shapes with the same perimeter the circle has the largest area. "What is the advantage of the round  Soviet military cap over the square-shaped Polish konfederatka? - The Soviet one can hold more loot". At the same time my German friends told me immensely more anti-Soviet jokes and drinking songs (especially about "ein glatzkopf Nikita Krustschoff") than the Polish ones. - Altenmann >t 18:51, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Perhaps it is a sign of normalization. I can recall quite a few communist era jokes about the Russians/Soviets, but I cannot recall a single one that would be about post-fall-of-communism times. But I wonder if there are modern anti-Russian jokes in Georgia or Estonia? --Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus 20:14, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

Ethnic jokes come from stereotypes not from relations between peoples. Bad relatitions produce hate not jokes. 217.66.28.169 (talk) 17:46, 7 September 2009 (UTC)

What about jokes about american stereotype? 81.17.172.242 (talk) 05:09, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I double this. American stereotypes I think are the most widely spread among any others in Russia. You can at least remember popular Zadornov's (the most popular Russia stand-up comedian) phrase «Ну тупые!» (approximate translation 'What the assholes!'), referring to Americans. Also Chukcha I think are refered to often in anecdotes. 95.161.251.10 (talk) 20:11, 5 October 2010 (UTC)
 * Oh, sorry, chukcha are already there. But I think I'll write about Americans. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 95.161.251.10 (talk) 20:14, 5 October 2010 (UTC)

Russian jokes
So that's what the гусарские презервативы are for. ΔιγουρενΕμπρος! 15:58, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

В "доктор сказал в морг - значит в морг" не хватает...
"и вообще, больной, не занимайтесь самолечением!" —Preceding unsigned comment added by 87.249.59.252 (talk) 19:04, 12 October 2009 (UTC)

--90.157.19.68 (talk) 17:27, 16 December 2011 (UTC)Перевести надо, а так хорошая идея))) We need to translate this joke. It is very typical.

"If anyone is cheating, her smug red-furred face is gonna hurt!"
This one got murdered a little more than the others. It's supposed to be something like: The Bear, the Wolf, and the Fox are playing cards. Bear: "Anyone caught cheating is getting it in the face." Wolf: "That's right, her smug, red face." (it's pretty idiomatic and doesn't translate well)

As it stands right now, it doesn't really make much sense. DmitriBichko (talk) 05:08, 17 November 2009 (UTC)
 * No, right now it is translated correctly. The whole phrase is spoken by the Bear, adding even more absurd subtlety. Here's the Russian original. --Garik 11 (talk) 12:41, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

an addition to animal jokes or national pride jokes
I heard a joke from a friend of mine who is Russian, and I think I'd like to air it here to see if it would qualify for the article.

There were once 2 worms, a father and a son. The son says to the father "Father, is it good to live in an apple?" and the father replies "Yes, son, it is good to live in an apple."

son:"Father, is it good to live in an orange?" father:"Yes son, it is very good to live in an orange!"

son:"well, is it good to live in a pineapple?" father:"yes son, it is very very good to live in a pineapple!!"

Son:"then why do we live in this pile of stinking shit?" father:"because, son, it is our motherland!"

What category would that fit in? Does hearing it firsthand count as a reliable source?

Tim Morris, 8:00pm, 12th June 2010.


 * I'd say it counts as one of Russian political jokes. --Cubbi (talk) 05:26, 13 June 2010 (UTC)

Why there are no Englishmen in ethnic stereotypes, no jokes about mother-in-law and no jokes about cartoon characters like Crocodile Gena and others?
Why there are no Englishmen in ethnic stereotypes? I know many jokes about English lords and their servants. I would also like to see jokes about Crocodile Gena and other cartoon characters (there were not very much good cartoons in Soviet Union and their characters are highly recognizable also). Jokes about mother-in-law is a large class also. Constantinehuk (talk) 21:42, 11 September 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Constantinehuk (talk • contribs) 21:08, 11 September 2010 (UTC)
 * 'Cause there's no reliable sources, proving notability of these categories. For my self, I know relatively few of this kind of russian jokes. Even "severe people of Chelyabinsk" theme is more popular. --Kovani (talk) 07:41, 14 September 2010 (UTC)


 * Different jokes belong to different people. Jokes about Crocodile Gena were very popular during my childhood (1988-1991) in my kindergarten. Jokes about mother-in-laws are popular between merried people – those who have never been married simply would not understand that hate between husband and mother of the wife.
 * There are no in-line citations for other jokes in "reliable sources", so I can not verify your words. Some of your "reliable sources" are broken links. For example: http://erosfilm.ru/film_info.php?l=eng&film_id=55. Please do not use double standarts. My theme is have the same and maybe more importance then Chinese jokes or others. Constantinehuk (talk) 22:41, 14 September 2010 (UTC)
 * You can remove any information in this article, wich is not proved by reliable sources, if you want. But if you want to ADD anything, you will also need to demonstrate a source of your information. Not a source of jokes, but a source with proves of notability of information you're trying to add. --Kovani (talk) 08:13, 15 September 2010 (UTC)
 * It is obvious for me that this theme is of great importance, like others mentioned by me, and for many anecdotes sites visitors also. I can not prove it by reliable sources for now. Maybe someone will be able to. I will give examples of such humour here. Let them guide future researches.Constantinehuk (talk) 19:45, 16 September 2010 (UTC)
 * As a russian humor user i can confirm importance of cartoon characters and jokes about mother-in-laws in russian humor and jokes about blonde also. Search engine results page can be a proof of this: Jokes about mother-in-law, Jokes about blonde, Jokes about Gena and Cheburashka — Preceding unsigned comment added by 178.75.84.38 (talk) 19:36, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

Englishmen
Englishmen are pedantic and calm in Russian jokes. It is partly caused by the fact that one of the few foreign books about Englishmen widely spread in USSR was "Around the World in Eighty Days" by Jules Verne with a very pedantic protagonist. They are considered to have very special "English humour". This notion is close to "the black humour". It is build at strict following the formalisms by Englishmen. English lords are aristocratic.
 * An English lady calls the servant: "Go now, visit my mother-in-law at the hospital and inquire after her health. She is very sick." The servant left and came back 3 hours later. "So? Have you been at the hospital? Did you inquire after my mother-in-law's health?" "Yes, madam." "Very well, you can go."
 * A servant addresses to the lord: "Sir, I beg to report that there is a fire in the kitchen." House owner slowly postponed "Times" and answered: "Inform the lady. You know it, Robins - I'm not engaged in housekeeping."
 * London. An Englishman is sitting in a living room, smoking a pipe and reading "Morning Chronicle". Suddenly, the wall of the room collapses and Bently drives in. The Englishman calmly looks at this, pulls out a pipe and asks: "So where to is dear sir hurrying?" "Manchester, sir!" "In that case, sir, it would be closer through the kitchen..."

Men don't like their mother-in-law in Russia stereotypically. This vision projects to English society. They obey the rules. The weather in England is considered to be bad. Etiquette is very important to Englishmen. English cuisine is not considered too diverse. ("Porridge, sir" is a catch-phrase now.) Englishmen are ironic.
 * A count speaks to the butler: "James, my Alice's mother comes tomorrow, so I'm asking you to chop off our dog's tail. I want nothing in the house to express pleasure concerning arrival of my mother-in-law."
 * A ship sinks. An Englishman with a pipe in his mouth addresses to the captain: "Sir, which of the boats is for smokers?"
 * An American is going down from a plane in Heathrow, at the sight of a fog: "Phew, what a nasty weather! And how long will it take to get a clear sky, do not you know?" A Londoner: "Alas, sir, I can not tell defininly. I live here only thirty five years."
 * An American journalist interviewed an English writer. During conversation he has put his feet on a table, but then thought suddenly and asked: "I beg your pardon, aren't you confused with my habit?" "Oh, no, do not worry", its interlocutor answered kindly, "You may put all of your four feet on a table."
 * Sir Baskerville is going to have a breakfast. His servant Berrimore is waiting. "What do we have for a breakfast, Berrimore?" "Porridge, sir!" "And for a dinner?" "Porridge, sir!" "And for a supper?" "Croquettes, sir..." "Hurray!!!" "... made of porridge, sir!!!"
 * An American tourist walks with the guide across London. "Everything here is so small, clamped", he spoke. "This building, for example. It would be ten times bigger in America!" "But, of course, sir! It is a psychiatric clinic."
 * A waiter asks a visitor: "And how did you find a beefsteak?" "Casually. When I has removed all the vegetables."
 * In English club one lord addresses to another "Sir, I heard that you have buried your wife recently. What a grief! And what happened with her?" "You know, sir, she has died..."

They are laconic. Some jokes are build around the misunderstandings. Constantinehuk (talk) 19:45, 16 September 2010 (UTC)
 * Two Englishmen are fishing. The float of one of them twitches and he pulls out the charming mermaid. Having admired of her, he removes the hook and releases the mermaid. The second one is surprised: "But why?" "But how?"
 * Along the coast of Thames a man walks with his camera. The woman runs up to him: "Hurry, please! My friend is sinking!" "Sorry, mam, my tape is over."
 * A couple from France and an Englishman are riding in the same wagon of a train. Frenchmen pours coffee from a thermos to themselves and offers it to the Englishman: "Coffee, sir." "No, thanks." After that Frenchmen gets cognac, pours it to themselves and offers it to the Englishman: "Cognac, sir." "No, thanks." The Frenchwoman has whispered to the husband: "Listen, this is an Englishman - he will never even talk to us until we will not get acquainted." "It is correct," the Frenchman told and started to represent his wife to the Englishman: "My wife Natali, sir." "No, thanks."
 * I have corrected some mistakes. Not all of them for sure - my English is also very bad. --Kovani (talk) 07:59, 17 September 2010 (UTC)

In Soviet Russia...
Shouldn't those be included? I searched the word "Soviet Russia" and there weren't any.--76.212.56.183 (talk) 00:40, 21 November 2010 (UTC)
 * No, not really. "In Soviet Russia..." are not the "Russian jokes"; they are American (?) jokes about Russia. Even considering that Smirnoff was an immigrant, I don't see how this type of jokes qualifies for inclusion here.—Ëzhiki (Igels Hérissonovich Ïzhakoff-Amursky) • (yo?); November 22, 2010; 15:49 (UTC)

THIS ARTICLE IS FOR "UNCYCLOPEDIA"!
This article deserves to be deleted, it is quite non-sense! post it in Uncyclopedia please! —Preceding unsigned comment added by 121.54.42.146 (talk) 13:20, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

Horrible translations
the translations in this article are so horrible, that it makes it a better candidate as an article about the phrase "lost in translation"... Example: elusive joe should be uncatchable joe (otherwise why would someone assume that he cant be caught?) and many more —Preceding unsigned comment added by 82.81.126.179 (talk) 15:39, 28 December 2010 (UTC)

More jokes
I didn't find any jokes about russian epic, mythological and fairytale characters. For example, about bogatyrs, Nightingale the Robber, Kolobok? — Preceding unsigned comment added by 109.95.105.208 (talk) 08:28, 27 June 2011 (UTC)

A couple of woeful inaccuracies
"An Odessa Jew meets another one. "Have you heard, Einstein is going to America!" / "Oh, what for?" / "He developed this Relativity theory." / "Yeah, what's that?" / "Well, you know, five hairs on your head is relatively few. Five hairs in your soup is relatively many." / "And for that he goes to America?!""

What? To America? Clearly some American edited this at some point of time. The actually told version goes like this: "An Odessa Jew meets another one. "Have you heard, Einstein has won the Nobel Prize?" / "Oh, what for?" / "He developed this Relativity theory." / "Yeah, what's that?" / "Well, you know, five hairs on your head is relatively few. Five hairs in your soup is relatively many." / "And for that he gets the Nobel Prize?!""

"A Ukrainian and a negro sit in a couchette car. Ukrainian takes out salo and starts eating it. Negro looks at him. Ukrainian asks: "What, want salo?". Negro nods his head, like, yes, I do. "Ah, that's absolutely usual salo. Write to your parents and they will send you it too.""

Russian word негр stands for "black", it's a usual neutral denomination. On the other hand, черный (lit. "black") is derogatory. Here goes correct variant: "A Ukrainian and a black sit in a couchette car. Ukrainian takes out salo and starts eating it. Black looks at him. Ukrainian asks: "What, want salo?". Black nods his head, like, yes, I do. "Ah, that's absolutely usual salo. Write to your parents and they will send you it too.""

178.177.147.100 (talk) 17:33, 3 December 2011 (UTC)