Talk:Ruth Norman/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 03:58, 18 August 2012 (UTC)


 * I'll take this! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 03:58, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

Comments

 * 1
 * "In her early to mid-teen years, she labored as a fruit packer and a maid, giving most of her income to her father, who she later described as abusive." - A lot of clauses. Could you split this?
 * Sure, split. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Unarius' or Unarian?
 * Not sure which is best, but I've standardized them. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Diana Tumminia - What's she do?
 * I'm not too sure what you're looking for here, I noted that she published a study of the group in 2005 though. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Using this talent - Typing as a talent? Really?
 * Hmm, I was trying not to repeat "skill", rephrased. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Seeking to popularize his channeling, in 1954, Ernest and Ruth an organization," - Missing a word.
 * Ahh, good catch. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Ioshanna... does this have a meaning?
 * Possibly, but not that I've noticed in the sources. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Michiel - link to Michael (archangel), assuming they're the same? Same with Raphael (archangel). Perhaps a link to archangel too.
 * I presume they're the same, or similar enough to justify a link. I'm sure Unarius has some novel perspectives on these angels. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "property near Jamul, California, to serve as a landing site for the Space Brothers." - You didn't explain who the Space Brothers are yet
 * Good catch, moved the explanation. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "six core myths" - Myths or beliefs?
 * There more or less the same in terms of the study of religion, but I rephrased for clarity. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Weber's concept of charismatic leadership." - Who?
 * Explained, and it turns out we have an article on the concept too. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Perhaps merge "last years" and 80s under one heading
 * Sure, that works. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * I did a copyedit, be sure to double check.
 * Looks good, only one error introduced. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Fix disambiguation needed tag. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:39, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Hadn't realized that there were two people named James R. Lewis with articles, wow. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * 2
 * I'm a bit concerned about the heavy reliance (overwhelming majority of footnotes) on Tumminia as a reference. It seems that a broader-based reference set would be preferable.--Piledhigheranddeeper (talk) 20:49, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
 * That would be a good idea for the peer review. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:53, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
 * 6
 * Any images at all possible? Even fair-use ones of her? Image of Tesla (like this)? Image of the Unarius Academy of Science?
 * Yeah, I had been meaning to add one of Ruth in, hadn't gotten around to it though. Just uploaded File:Ernest and Ruth Norman.jpg. Tesla's a good idea. I should check if there are any Wikipedians in the area that could get a pic of their headquarters. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:14, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * AGF on offline sources.

In the introductory paragraph it is stated that Norman was a native of California, but in the "Early Life and Marriage" paragraph it states that she was born in Indiana. This seems contradictory. ;Lawrence Ames (talk) — Preceding unsigned comment added by 204.124.92.254 (talk) 16:11, 12 October 2012 (UTC)

Further discussion

 * On hold for a week. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:34, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Looks peachy, passing. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 01:16, 19 August 2012 (UTC)