Talk:Ruth St. Denis/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 00:35, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * Many thanks! Chiswick Chap (talk) 04:27, 2 July 2023 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

(Criteria marked are unassessed)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):
 * b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a. (reference section):
 * b. (citations to reliable sources):
 * c. (OR):
 * d. (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a. (major aspects):
 * b. (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a. (major aspects):
 * b. (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * Pass/fail:

Comments
An interesting article about a person I knew nothing about. Only minor tweaks are suggested, but, as ever, feel free to challenge any of my comments. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:52, 4 July 2023 (UTC)

Copyvio check
 * I reviewed all the matches over 7.5% found using Earwig's Copyvio Detector. No issues. A couple of matches around 90% are backwards copies; other matches are source names, WP:LIMITED text, etc.
 * Noted.


 * No issues with close paraphrasing seen from the sources I reviewed.
 * Noted.

Images
 * No licence issues. Images are relevant. Positioning and captions are fine. Optionally, ALT text could be added (MOS:ALT)
 * Noted.

Sources
 * All seem suitable.
 * Noted.


 * Looks like Sheloton (1981) should be brought into References rather than kept in Further reading
 * Moved.


 * I don't think it's required for a GA, but some of the book sources (e.g. Anderson (2007), Au (2009) and Mayo (2009)) citations could be put into the cite book template, or tweaked so they match the other book references.
 * Formatted.

Biography
 * Is it appropriate to link "skirt dancer" to Skirt dance?
 * Yes, done.


 * she progressed to touring with an acclaimed producer and director, David Belasco - consider expanding on this.
 * Added a little more detail.


 * her life was changed - is this phrase appropriate. (It may be, looking at Shelton p.46, but doesn't really feel like quite the right tone.)
 * Edited.


 * Egyptian Deities cigarettes - the link from "Egyptian Deities" to Ancient Egyptian deities feels a little bit Easter Eggy - maybe add "brand" before cigarettes?
 * Done.


 * it was artistic love at first sight - poetic, but not sure it's quite the right tone for an article here.
 * Edited.


 * Spot check on the "cradle of American modern dance." - no issues. (The page is not numbered - numbering starts with Chapter 1.)
 * Noted.


 * Ruth St. Denis and Ted Shawn were instrumental in creating the legendary dance festival... - think we can lose the "legendary" and the forenames.
 * Done.


 * I haven't seen the source, but "the mysteries of the Orient" seems like a rather outdated phrase.
 * Edited.


 * Through these works it is said that St. Denis sought to become the Virgin Mary in the same manner in which she once sought to become goddesses - the "become" seems a bit literal; but, as with the comment above, I have't seen the source. can we add who said?
 * Done.

Death and legacy
 * It was described as - we might as well add who described it thus.
 * Added.


 * Spot check on A centennial salute was scheduled with the revival premiere of St. Denis' "Radha", commissioned by Countess Anastasia Thamakis of Greece. The program's director, Mino Nicolas, has been instrumental in the revival of these key solos. - not supported by nationalmuseumofdance.org source.
 * Removed.


 * Spot check on St. Denis was inducted into the National Museum of Dance's Mr. & Mrs. Cornelius Vanderbilt Whitney Hall of Fame in 1987 no issues. Looks from the source like 1987 was the first year; if there's a source for this it might be worth adding as the first set of inductees to a hall of fame are (I guess) often perceived as the most significant people in the field up to that point.
 * Added with ref.


 * The global organization Dances of Universal Peace credits Ruth St. Denis for much of the inspiration behind its creation - I'm not sure this is really supported by the source; it might be safer to replace it with the info from "The Dances of Universal Peace were begun by one of St. Denis's students, Samuel L. Lewis." (Note 15, p. 117), and possibly add something relating to Douglas-Klotz.
 * Done.


 * Can lose the "Ruth"
 * Done.

Infobox and lead


 * Infobox - birth and death locations are not sourced in the body text; could be added with citations there.
 * Added refs for both places in text.


 * "she is credited, too, with inspiring the Dances of Universal Peace." - might need tweaking depending on whether text is changed following comments above.
 * Removed.


 * The second para of the lead is short. Is it worth adding her induction into the National Museum of Dance's Mr. & Mrs. Cornelius Vanderbilt Whitney Hall of Fame ?
 * Added.

I'm satisfied that the article meets the GA criteria, so I'm passing it. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:02, 4 July 2023 (UTC)