Talk:SS Jacona (1918)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 04:56, 21 January 2022 (UTC)

Hi there, I'll be reviewing this nomination in the coming days. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 04:56, 21 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your patience, I've left my comments/concerns and I'll place the nomination on hold for you to address them. PCN02WPS  ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 19:07, 26 January 2022 (UTC)
 * My suggestions have been addressed, so I'm happy to pass this article as a GA! Well done. PCN02WPS  ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 04:18, 28 January 2022 (UTC)

Lead/infobox

 * Date ranges in infobox (e.g. "1930—1945") should use en dash (–) instead of (—)
 * link World War I
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:24, 25 January 2022 (UTC)


 * "deck machinery, and converted to a non-self-propelled" → add bolded word and remove comma
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:24, 25 January 2022 (UTC)


 * "until March 1945 delivery to the War Shipping Administration." → a word is missing here
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:24, 25 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Reads better to me if there's a comma after "In 1930" and "In 1971".
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:24, 25 January 2022 (UTC)


 * link World War II
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:24, 25 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Issues Done. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:59, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * One additional note for the lead: in order to make the lead agree with the body of the article, clarify that she was sold to buyers in the Philippines, rather than just saying "she was sold to the Philippines", which could imply she was sold to the government or some depiction of the country itself as an entity.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:30, 26 January 2022 (UTC)

As built

 * The comma after "Board" in the first sentence reads as unnecessary to me.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:37, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * perhaps add a few words to the final sentence to read "when it was selected for conversion"
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:37, 26 January 2022 (UTC)

1930 conversion...

 * Did Wyman develop this idea shortly before the Jacona was converted or had this idea been around for a while but hadn't been acted upon?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:38, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * "with the New England Public Service Company for sale of Jacona for $25,000." → "for the sale of Jacona"
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:42, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * "Ship's crew quarters were left to house personnel operating the plant." → This reads better to me if the sentence started "The ship's crew quarters..."
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:47, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Gross register tonnage and Net register tonnage are linked in the previous section and therefore do not need to be linked again.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk)


 * add comma after "By 1934"
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:58, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * "the vessel is out of registry as a ship and listed as 'abandoned'" → the present tense here sounds awkward for something that took place ninety years ago.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:58, 26 January 2022 (UTC)

History as floating power plant

 * add comma after "After conversion"
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk)


 * you could probably get away with just saying "The plant was towed by a tug to Bucksport to be..." since you identify Bucksport as being in Maine in the sentence before.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:12, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * "kilowatt-hours" is hyphenated in the first paragraph but is unhyphenated in the third.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:12, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * "The plant's availability had been 90% with one with one unit and 85% with both generating sets." → repetition
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:12, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * add comma after "March 17, 1945..."
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:12, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * since War Shipping Administration is only previously linked in the lead, I think it'd be okay to link it here
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:12, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * the unit "kilowatt" is written out in full in previous paragraphs but is abbreviated "KW" in the second-to-last paragraph of the section
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:12, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * add comma after "In 1947"
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:12, 26 January 2022 (UTC)

Korea service

 * "On one day in 1950..." → add bolded word and comma after "1950"
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:37, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * I'm not sure that the word "accidentally" is needed here as it would be difficult to imagine a rat short circuiting a generator on purpose.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:37, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * "the loss of electricity that was generated by the first generator." → I would find a word to replace "generated" to cut down on repetition.


 * The abbreviation "US" is used in the final paragraph (without periods) while "U.S." is used in other parts of the article; I'd change one of these to be consistent with the others.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:37, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Link Economic Cooperation Administration
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:37, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * same issue with consistency among "kilowatt"/"kW"/"KW"
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:37, 26 January 2022 (UTC)

Later service

 * Might not be 100% necessary but I think it would be potentially helpful for readers to link the Philippines.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:13, 26 January 2022 (UTC)

Notes and references

 * Notes A and C need citations.
 * ✅ Removed. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:26, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Minor typo in the first word of note C.
 * ✅ Removed. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:26, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * References and sources look good to me.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:26, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Earwig gives a score of 13%, so no issues with copyvio.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:26, 26 January 2022 (UTC)

Images

 * File:SS Jacona 1919.jpg – relevant to subject matter; valid license ✅
 * File:REPC Power Plant Ship Jacona.JPG – relevant to subject matter; valid license ✅

Comments

 * All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:39, 26 January 2022 (UTC)