Talk:Saborsko massacre/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: 23 editor (talk · contribs) 20:53, 7 March 2014 (UTC)

Hi, I'll take this review. 23 editor (talk) 20:53, 7 March 2014 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Lead:
 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * ...The Saborsko massacre (Pokolj u Saborskom)... - You should add the Serbian translation too.
 * ...The fighting took place as a part of an offensive conducted jointly by the JNA and Croatian Serb forces to capture Croatian-held pocket... – This should read "...a Croatian-held pocket..."
 * ...Babić and Martić were convicted by the ICTY in 2000s for their role in the events... – Try "Following the war, the ICTY convicted Babić and Martić for their role in the events..."
 * Amended as suggested, except for a Serbian translation. I have no clue how is the event referred to in Serbia. All I could find were generic terms such as conquest/fall/liberation of Saborsko. The only exception was "Operacija Saborsko" found on p.499 of Rupić reference (quoting an RSK document). Would you consider such a source and the single reference acceptable for the purpose?--Tomobe03 (talk) 21:57, 7 March 2014 (UTC)

Sure. 23 editor (talk) 22:01, 7 March 2014 (UTC)
 * Added--Tomobe03 (talk) 22:05, 7 March 2014 (UTC)

Background:


 * ...In 1990, following the electoral defeat of the government of the Socialist Republic of Croatia, ethnic tensions worsened... Ethnic tensions between whom?
 * Specified - Croats and Serbs.--Tomobe03 (talk) 22:03, 7 March 2014 (UTC)

Prelude:


 * ...The Croatian Police had stationed Saborsko Independent Company consisting of approximately 30 personnel in the village one day after the Plitvice Lakes incident, on 1 April 1991. – This could read "The Saborsko Independent Company, consisting of approximately 30 personnel, was stationed in the village by the Croatian Police the day after the Plitvice Lakes incident on 1 April 1991."
 * ...That month the JNA distributed 1000 small arms to ethnic Serbs living in Gorski kotar region, including Plaški. – Try "1,000".
 * ...In June–August, Saborsko was targeted by artillery and mortar fire, and the bulk of its civilian population fled by early August. – Who was it targeted by?
 * ...In early October, the JNA and the SAO Krajina TO launched a joint offensive, aimed at capture of peripheral areas of Slunj pocket." – This should read: "In early October, the JNA and the SAO Krajina TO launched a joint offensive which was aimed at capturing the peripheral areas of the Slunj pocket."
 * Nearly entire Croat civilian population fled, and at least seven civilians... – This should read "Most of the Croat civilians fled, and at least seven..."
 * Further three Croat civilians were killed in the nearby village of Vukovići. – Write this as "Three more Croat civilians were killed in the nearby village of Vukovići."
 * Croatian police and the ZNG, including the forces based in Saborsko, launched a failed attempt to capture a JNA base in Lička Jasenica on 4–8 November, causing death of Serb civilians in the attack. – Try: "The Croatian police and the ZNG, including the forces based in Saborsko, launched a failed attempt to capture a JNA base in Lička Jasenica on 4–8 November. The attack resulted in the deaths of Serb civilians."

Amended as suggested. Sources do not specify whose artillery/mortars were those. The source says: "In the early morning of 5 August 1991, Saborsko was shelled by mortars from the direction of the Lička Jasenica JNA barracks." which would imply those were JNA guns/mortars, but given cooperation between the JNA and the military of SAO Krajina, it is hard to tell for sure. Would it be of any help to specify that the artillery/mortars were positioned in or near the Lička Jasenica JNA barracks? --Tomobe03 (talk) 22:16, 7 March 2014 (UTC) Given the ambiguity and what the source implies, I reworded it once more to reflect accurately what the source actually says and let the reader draw their conclusion if any.--Tomobe03 (talk) 22:33, 7 March 2014 (UTC)

Timeline:


 * The JNA and the SAO Krajina TO intensified their offensive aimed capturing of Saborsko and the Slunj pocket in early November. – This should read: "In early November, the JNA and the SAO Krajina TO intensified their offensive aimed at capturing Saborsko and the Slunj pocket."
 * The JNA force assigned to the offensive was organised as the Tactical Group 2 (TG-2), under command of Colonel Čedomir Bulat. – Try: "The JNA force assigned to the offensive was organised as the Tactical Group 2 (TG-2), under the command of Colonel Čedomir Bulat."
 * The attacking force, supported by the Yugoslav Air Force... – Delink Yugoslav Air Force. It was linked in the previous section.
 * According to SAO Krajina sources, the air strikes commenced at 9 a.m. and took fifteen minutes, followed by 30 minutes of artillery bombardment before ground forces were ordered to attack. – This should read: "According to SAO Krajina sources, the air strikes commenced at 9 a.m. and lasted for fifteen minutes. They were followed by a 30-minute artillery bombardment before ground forces were ordered to attack."
 * Defences of Saborsko were first breached at noon, and the attacking force reached the centre of Saborsko at 3:30 p.m. – "The defences of Saborsko were first breached at noon, and the attacking force reached the centre of the village at 3:30 p.m."
 * At least 25 civilians were murdered by the troops in the immediate aftermath of capture of Saborsko. – Try: "At least 25 civilians were murdered by the troops in the immediate aftermath of the capture of Saborsko."

Amended as suggested.--Tomobe03 (talk) 22:20, 7 March 2014 (UTC)

Aftermath:


 * Destruction of the vilage of Saborsko continued and both churches in the village were demolished by mid December. – This should read: "The destruction of Saborsko continued and both churches in the village were demolished by mid-December."
 * In two months following recapture of the area by Croatia in Operation Storm in 1995, bodies of 27 victims were recovered... – This should read: "In the two months following the recapture of the area by Croatia in Operation Storm in 1995, the bodies of 27 victims were recovered..."
 * ...the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia (ICTY) has specified that 29 Croat civilians were killed in Saborsko on 12 November 1991. – Try: "...the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia (ICTY) specified that 29 Croat civilians were killed in Saborsko on 12 November 1991."

Amended as suggested.--Tomobe03 (talk) 22:24, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * A. Has an appropriate reference section:
 * B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall: Interesting article. The points I brought up over the prose should be addressed before this can be promoted. Cheers, 23 editor (talk) 21:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall: Interesting article. The points I brought up over the prose should be addressed before this can be promoted. Cheers, 23 editor (talk) 21:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Overall: Interesting article. The points I brought up over the prose should be addressed before this can be promoted. Cheers, 23 editor (talk) 21:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:

Thank you very much for taking up this review. I have tried to address the issues you brought up above.--Tomobe03 (talk) 22:36, 7 March 2014 (UTC)

Just one more thing. Croatian Police is linked both in "Background" and "Prelude"; I suggest you delink it from the latter section. Also, in some parts of the article Croatian Police is rendered as Croatian police (with a small "p") and in other parts it has a capital "P" for "Police". Can you decide on one form or the other for consistency? Thanks. 23 editor (talk) 00:31, 8 March 2014 (UTC)
 * Done.--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:27, 8 March 2014 (UTC)

Excellent. Passed as GA. 23 editor (talk) 15:31, 8 March 2014 (UTC)