Talk:Sack of Mecca/GA1

GA Review
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Nominator:

Reviewer: Bruxton (talk · contribs) 22:19, 25 March 2024 (UTC)

Review

 * I am happy to review this. Bruxton (talk) 22:19, 25 March 2024 (UTC)

Lead

 * Regarding your use of dashes 927-928 consider using "927–928"
 * AFAICT it is already an endash? Constantine  ✍  19:49, 29 March 2024 (UTC)
 * I put them in the lead. Bruxton (talk) 21:13, 29 March 2024 (UTC)
 * "winter 929/930" consider "929–930"
 * Changed. Constantine  ✍  19:49, 29 March 2024 (UTC)
 * the lead says "The city was plundered for eight to eleven days," the body says "The Qarmatians continued their killing and plundering for eight or eleven days". Can we line them up by using the language of the lead?
 * Done. Constantine  ✍  19:49, 29 March 2024 (UTC)

Lead

 * "all its decorations and relics taken away" consider "were" taken away
 * Done. Constantine  ✍  19:56, 29 March 2024 (UTC)
 * "This act meant a complete break between the Qarmatians and the Islamic world" maybe "meant" is the wrong word here. The act "caused" or some similar?
 * Replaced with 'was tantamount to'. Constantine  ✍  19:56, 29 March 2024 (UTC)

Motives for the attack

 * "On the other hand, as the historian Heinz Halm points out" consider replacing the colloquial "On the other hand"
 * Removed. Constantine  ✍  19:56, 29 March 2024 (UTC)

Abu Tahir and the war with the Abbasids

 * "Even the city's iron gates were dismantled and taken back to Bahrayn" consider using some other set up instead of "even" or just say "The city's iron gates were dismantled and taken back to Bahrayn"
 * I have added something before 'even', but I don't think removing it improves anything... Taking the gates of a sacked city with you is a fairly unusual move and is remarkable as such. Constantine  ✍  19:56, 29 March 2024 (UTC)
 * "Under the leadership of the barely 16-year-old Abu Tahir" suggest removing barely
 * Removed. Constantine  ✍  19:56, 29 March 2024 (UTC)
 * "Furthermore, factional rivalries in the Abbasid court" "furthermore" is a WP:WTW and should be remove
 * Removed. Constantine  ✍  19:56, 29 March 2024 (UTC)
 * "but the authorities nevertheless paid a hefty sum" suggest removing nevertheless
 * Removed. Constantine  ✍  19:56, 29 March 2024 (UTC)

Massacre of the pilgrims and plundering of the city

 * "One report, obviously exaggerated, suggests" do we know why it is obviously exaggerated?
 * This comes from the cited source, I have rephrased accordingly. Most medieval reports have a tendency to inflate casualties, booty, size of enemy armies, etc. Constantine  ✍  19:56, 29 March 2024 (UTC)

Motives for the attack

 * "who were considered as usurpers by the" I think we can remove the word "as"
 * Removed. Constantine  ✍  19:56, 29 March 2024 (UTC)

Aftermath

 * "Nevertheless, the affair of the false Mahdi tarnished the prestige of Abu Tahir" consider removing nevertheless
 * Removed. Constantine  ✍  19:56, 29 March 2024 (UTC)

Images

 * Three images appear in the article and they are correctly licensed and free. Bruxton (talk) 15:59, 26 March 2024 (UTC)

Chart
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