Talk:Safavid Georgia/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 17:25, 3 June 2018 (UTC)

Criteria
 Good Article Status - Review Criteria   		A good article is&mdash;  :
 * (a) ; and
 * (b).

:
 * (a) ;
 * (b) ;
 * (c) ; and
 * (d).

:
 * (a) ; and
 * (b).

. . :
 * (a) ; and
 * (b).



Review
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Discussion
Copy vio.
 * Could you do some minor rephrasing to reduce these?
 * As far as I can see, it appears the vast majority of those are just coincidence. Let me know if you think otherwise. - LouisAragon (talk) 10:50, 10 June 2018 (UTC)
 * Could you rephrase "... raiding expeditions into Georgia, notably in 1518...", "... a period of relative peace and prosperity...", "... two and a half centuries of... political dominance over eastern Georgia...", "... all of Georgia as an Ottoman possession..." and "... a continuation of his predecessors’ efforts to..."

References.
 * The unreferenced lists of rulers need to either go or be referenced. I will put the review on hold for 7 days; please do one or the other during that time and let me know.
 * ✅ (List of governors of Safavid Georgia). Where do you think would be the best place to insert the link in this article? - LouisAragon (talk) 10:50, 10 June 2018 (UTC)


 * Could references without publishers or publisher locations have them added please.
 * As far as I can see, the only sources without publishers are those that are cited from the Enc. Iranica online, so I don't think its needed? I added a few publisher locations (the ones I was certain about), but similarly; I don't think its necessary/needed as long as the publisher is mentioned? Please let me know. - LouisAragon (talk) 11:02, 10 June 2018 (UTC)
 * Publishers are now covered. Sorry, but all 12 missing publisher locations need inserting. Do you know how to find publisher locations etc using WorldCat?
 * Nope never done before. I'll try to figure it out later. - LouisAragon (talk) 16:37, 20 June 2018 (UTC)
 * See here. The publisher location in this case is Costa Mesa, Calif. Always make sure that you have the correct edition. It also gives the publisher and other details, and if you scroll down, the ISBN and OCLC numbers. Worth playing around with a little. (I first tried Slaves of the Shah: New Elites of Safavid Iran, but couldn't find a 2004 edition; there is a 2003 and a 2005. WorldCat is not infallible, but that is worth checking.) Gog the Mild (talk) 16:59, 20 June 2018 (UTC)
 * ✅ Added as many locations I could with the help of WorldCat and Google search. - LouisAragon (talk) 23:12, 24 June 2018 (UTC)

Prose. The lead. More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 12:28, 10 June 2018 (UTC)
 * "located in the area of present-day Georgia" seems a little vague. '... within the territory of...'? '... largely within the territory of...'? '... approximately conterminous with...'? or whatever.
 * "From Tahmasp I's reign onwards". This seems important, so could you give an actual date, even if prefixed with 'approximately'?
 * I have copy edited a little. Revert anything you don't like.
 * Optional. There are a lot of "however"s, most not necessary. Consider losing some of them.
 * "In 1712–1719 Hosayn-Qoli Khan was kept in Iran". I am not sure what "kept" means. Imprisoned?
 * "Shah-Navaz, Bakar Mirza". Is that one person's name? It reads a little oddly.

More prose.
 * The 3rd paragraph of 16th century has "clarify" in the middle. This seems reasonable; what "political and social institutions"? And does Hitchins explicitly address this point?
 * I will address this tomorrow. - LouisAragon (talk) 23:14, 24 June 2018 (UTC)
 * Ok, well, not tomorrow, but better late than never... ✅ Please don't hesitate to perform a copy-edit on the sentences I just corrected, if you think it doesn't read as smoothly as it used to. - LouisAragon (talk) 17:14, 29 June 2018 (UTC)

More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 17:29, 10 June 2018 (UTC)
 * "In 1624/25 Manuchar III Jaqeli," Could you replace with '1624–25' or '1624 or 1625' as appropriate.
 * "and had made him governor of Kartli, a post which he held for a long period of time." A long period of time is question begging. Is there not even a vague idea of how long this was?


 * It is looking pretty good. I will copy all of the outstanding issues below for ease of reference.


 * Could you rephrase "... raiding expeditions into Georgia, notably in 1518...", "... a period of relative peace and prosperity...", "... two and a half centuries of... political dominance over eastern Georgia...", "... all of Georgia as an Ottoman possession..." and "... a continuation of his predecessors’ efforts to..."
 * Could you please make proposals? - LouisAragon (talk) 16:32, 2 July 2018 (UTC)
 * I have made amendments. Could you check them, and tweak them if needed. (I will need to check again once Earwig has refreshed.) Gog the Mild (talk) 17:27, 2 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Just checked, looks good. - LouisAragon (talk) 22:49, 2 July 2018 (UTC)
 * "Shah-Navaz, Bakar Mirza". Is that one person's name? It reads a little oddly.
 * Already replied about that a few days ago. - LouisAragon (talk) 16:32, 2 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Apologies, I overlooked it. Gog the Mild (talk) 17:27, 2 July 2018 (UTC)
 * No worries. - LouisAragon (talk) 22:49, 2 July 2018 (UTC)
 * I have added the last two publisher locations, so it's just these two points in the way of a GA. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:25, 29 June 2018 (UTC)

Truer words were never spoken. :-) Thank you once again for all your effort. Cheers mate, - LouisAragon (talk) 18:25, 5 July 2018 (UTC)