Talk:Saltwell Park/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: EricEnfermero (talk · contribs) 04:35, 27 January 2013 (UTC)

I will be glad to review this. After a quick readthrough and checks for copyright and disambiguation issues, the article looks good. I'll return tonight with a closer review, adding comments as I go. Kudos on an article that shows dedicated work over the last couple of months.

Lead

 * "one of the finest examples of its type in Britain" - consider using a direct quote from the source
 * No problem. Done Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * In the second paragraph, remove apostrophe from "it's". This error appears at least one more time (the design section).
 * Done Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Per WP:MOSQUOTES, double quotation marks are preferred, except for quotes within other quotes. Single quotes appear in several places within the article. Some of the quotation marks (such as those around the names of the park's sections, estates and awards) can be removed.
 * I think these have now been addressed Meetthefeebles (talk) 12:52, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "these has been fully restored and is now" - grammar
 * Done Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "which contains is a 4 acre..." - extra word, and change 4 to four. The numeral/word issue also occurs in the Principal attractions section.
 * Done Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * In the last paragraph of the lead, I would take out "prestigious", as its source is connected to the park.
 * Agreed and removed Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)

Conception and opening

 * The third sentence (In 1805...) is quite long. You might break it up to ensure readability.
 * I've split it up as suggested. Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "about resident's health" - change to plural, more than one resident
 * Indeed! done. Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * In the third paragraph, "but were discouraged" - change to "but it was discouraged"
 * Done Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * change "acres" to "acre"
 * Done Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)

Design and layout

 * "Saltwell park" and "Saltwell Road south" - capitalize park and south
 * Done Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "south east" - change to "southeast". There are other instances in the article. I think that British English may hyphenate these, but I don't think they can be two separate words.
 * I think I've changed all of these now. Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * third paragraph: "in the in the centre"
 * Quite. Changed. Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * last paragraph: "two child's play area"
 * Changed Meetthefeebles (talk) 12:52, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Silverdust - seems it is usually two words
 * I'll take your word for it; an expert on flowers I am not! Changed as suggested :) Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)

Principal attractions

 * Redundant mention of the builder of Saltwell Towers
 * Changed as suggested Meetthefeebles (talk) 12:52, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "while the mansion was listed by English Heritage in 1973" - this bit seems out of place given the rest of the sentence
 * I've split the sentence and reworded slightly. Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * The sentence beginning "A Boer War Memorial..." is not a complete sentence. I would take out the "which".
 * I've split into two sentences which should now be okay. Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Fifth paragraph: "A bandstand..." - overly long sentence. Split up for readability.
 * Done as suggested. Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "Also renovated was Saltwell Dene;" - change semicolon to comma
 * Done Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "Vickers Viscount 701 Airplane" - Airplane can be lower case
 * Changed Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * I would reference the airplane info with the Vickers source, not the Flickr one. The image with the lettering can still be seen in the Vickers source. Is there a reliable source that mentions the slide?
 * I've changed the reference as suggested. Sadly, I can't find anything reliable for the slide (though it certainly was there - I remember playing on it as a child!) so I've taken it out. Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)

Park use

 * "hosted fundraising day" - hosted a
 * Changed Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "ten kilometres" - ten-kilometre
 * Who are the Saltwell Harriers?
 * They are an athletics club. I've noted this in the text. Meetthefeebles (talk) 11:48, 27 January 2013 (UTC)

Response
Thank you for picking this one up and I am glad you enjoyed the article. Most of the issues raised are quite cosmetic and I'll work my way through them over the next day or so... :) Meetthefeebles (talk) 10:55, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * I've now made amendments per the above suggestions. There are one or two outstanding, which I'll come back to in a short while. Meetthefeebles (talk) 12:02, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Okay, I think these have now all been addressed. Let me know if anything else needs to be looked at :) Meetthefeebles (talk) 12:52, 27 January 2013 (UTC)

Checklist
Thanks for your work! EricEnfermero Howdy! 19:01, 27 January 2013 (UTC)