Talk:Salvatore Todaro (mobster)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 17:12, 30 January 2020 (UTC)

Review
Happy to review this one! I enjoy writing criminal biographies so I hope to learn a lot from your articles. Stay put! MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 17:12, 30 January 2020 (UTC)
 * pinging the major contributor as a heads up. I cleaned up most of the tweaks, but hoping you can address some of the comments related to sourcing or who a person is, etc. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 17:18, 30 January 2020 (UTC)

Overall the article is in great shape. The sources used are reliable (kudos on using offline sources that I'm sure were difficult to find)! The level of detail is excellent too, and there wasn't an instance where I felt we were going off-topic. Below are a few points I wanted to bring up before promotion. My biggest concern in this review is the names and how they are used throughout the article. There are many instances of full names (i.e. Sam Todaro) when they are not needed, and then instances where people are mentioned without giving us a short description of who they are or their relationship with other individuals (they often share last names but they could very well be gangsters, siblings, or other people). A thorough check and read is required by the nominator to make sure that is clear. MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 21:38, 30 January 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks MX. I fully agree with you about the usage of names. I think I've addressed that problem. I didn't add a description for Frank or John Lonardo where you said because, as I mentioned, they were already introduced earlier on as Joseph's brothers. Hope that's alright. I leave it up to Tim1965 to follow up on the sourcing comments as he's the one who did a great job with the sourcing. Regards, Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 22:26, 31 January 2020 (UTC)
 * I think every point has been addressed now. Thanks Tim! Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 17:23, 4 February 2020 (UTC)

Early life

 * - Link Cleveland for our international readers
 * ✅ Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - Why not “in the U.S.”? I tried looking for a policy for this but could not find any. But MOS:US is all I could find and does not mention America.
 * ✅ United States. <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - Possible WP:REDLINK or not? I will leave it up to you.
 * I've not come across many references to him, and my (admittedly non-expert) opinion is to not redlink it. - Tim1965 (talk) 16:28, 4 February 2020 (UTC)

Criminal career with the Lonardos

 * - Is this the Cleveland crime family? If so, please link and remove any links elsewhere after this.
 * ✅ <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - Link Prohibition in the United States for our readers.
 * ✅ <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - Todaro alone is fine.
 * ✅ <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - Do we need these many sources to back up a single sentence? I am worried it may be an instance of WP:CITEKILL. Consider trimming or merging.
 * It seemed a fairly contentious claim. I used multiple cites as a means of reinforcing that this wasn't just some casual claim by a source or something just one source claimed - Tim1965 (talk) 16:26, 4 February 2020 (UTC)
 * - Todaro alone is fine.
 * ✅ <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - Could this murder possibly be a redlink? I ask because the murder of a policeman is notable, but I’m not sure if there are enough print sources since I do not have access to them.
 * In reading sources used in making this article, the murder of Cleveland police at the time was not unusual. When researching this article in The Plain Dealer and Cleveland News, the murder of Glaefke drew notice only for a short period and I never came across national news sources that mentioned it or histories that mentioned it except in passing. So I'd not redlink it, but others can do so. - Tim1965 (talk) 16:32, 4 February 2020 (UTC)


 * - Wow!
 * Yeah, the city was fairly corrupt. :) - Tim1965 (talk) 16:32, 4 February 2020 (UTC)

Involvement with the Buffalo crime family

 * - Why not the surnames only?
 * ✅ <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - Same here
 * ✅ <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)

“DiCarlo and fellow gang member Peter Gallelo attempted to murder Patitucci as he walked on the street.” - I thought Patitucci was convicted (in prison)? Was he released during trial?
 * It says the trial was delayed—maybe he was out on bail? <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)
 * Done. He was out on bail. Clarified in footnote, and cited. - Tim1965 (talk) 16:50, 4 February 2020 (UTC)


 * - No Sam needed
 * ✅ <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - Mary or Todaro’s wife? Since you mentioned Todaro was called to Buffalo I wasn’t too sure.
 * Done. His own wife. Fixed for clarity. - Tim1965 (talk) 16:37, 4 February 2020 (UTC)


 * - His mother, right? We mentioned her already so you can keep it simple and add her mother’s home instead. Otherwise readers may not know her relation to Patitucci other than the fact that they share a last name.
 * ✅ <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - One or multiple? If one, it would be “a federal investigator”. If multiple, “investigators”
 * Done. More than one. Fixed. - Tim1965 (talk) 16:39, 4 February 2020 (UTC)


 * - What is D.A.? Consider spelling it out for our international readers
 * ✅ <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)

Tenure as Cleveland crime boss

 * - No redlink for Mr. Lupo? Is he notable enough to have his own page?
 * Done. He is notable enough. He was redlinked in the section "Lonardo's involvement in Prohibition". - Tim1965 (talk) 16:59, 4 February 2020 (UTC)


 * - This footnote seems out of place. What individual was in question? I thought we were reading about Gentile and Lonardo.
 * Done. It was out of place. I moved it to the end of the first sentence in the section, which is where it belonged. - Tim1965 (talk) 16:59, 4 February 2020 (UTC)


 * - First mention of this man yet no introduction. Who is he? Lonardo’s brother? Please add a short description since we thought all along it was Joseph.
 * ❌ John introduced here. "In the early 1920s, Joseph Lonardo, his brothers Frank and John, and Todaro were working in the Lonardo confectionary business." <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - Social status? I had to look up what “Station in life” is since it is an idiom.
 * ✅ <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - Morning or evening?
 * ✅ <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)


 * - Run-on sentence that needs to be fixed. Consider making it shorter.
 * Done. Fixed the run-on nature of it. - Tim1965 (talk) 16:59, 4 February 2020 (UTC)

Death and interment

 * - Who’s this? I assume a sibling? Please add a short description so we know who it is.
 * ❌ Frank introduced here. "In the early 1920s, Joseph Lonardo, his brothers Frank and John, and Todaro were working in the Lonardo confectionary business." <b style="color:black">Vaseline</b><b style="color:lightgrey">eeeeeee</b>★★★ 02:56, 31 January 2020 (UTC)